For most of grade ten life was going smooth. It was good. Then summer came. It had been a long successful school year and I was on top of the world. Everything was going my way. It was the beginning of a beautiful summer and I had met my first boyfriend. Yes I know, 17 years old and I had never had a boyfriend, it’s not that weird, I was an antisocial kid remember. Oh, you want to hear about how we met? Okay, I’ll be happy to share the sappy details.

It was the beginning of July. I don’t remember the day being too hot and I hated the pool so I wasn’t planning on going but my youth group was planning a pool party along with a few other churches in the area. Last minute my sister and I decided we would check it out. It wasn’t all that exciting honestly. There weren’t many people from our youth group there. It was nearing the end of the party and I was definitely ready to go home, I mentioned to my youth pastor that I had introduced myself to two people even though I had only introduced myself to one, it wasn’t a big deal but he was big on the many youth groups intermingling.

Just before I left, I noticed him. My glasses weren’t on, so I couldn’t tell you if I found him attractive but something in my head convinced me that I had to talk to him, so I did. The shyness in made my voice shake as I told him my now famous pick up line which came out “Hey, sorry to bother you but I just lied to my youth pastor.” I proceeded to tell him my name and eventually conned him into letting me give him my number knowing that if I asked him for his, I would never have texted him first.

I bet you’re wondering how I got to my love story from a story about a shy little girl who couldn’t read and didn’t believe she had an opinion. It’s not about how I met my first boyfriend, this part of the story is about the my first real step out of shyness, out of feeling like no one heard me. Yes I was trembling and felt like I was having a heart attack, but I was bold, and out of that came a relationship that I hoped would last the rest of my life. Later in that summer, I moved in with my best friend for a while and I was closer to Riley, both geographically and emotionally. We learned a lot about each other and eventually decided to date. This was challenging for me though because I had never really been attached to anyone before, I’d never learned to love anyone before, my shyness had always been a roadblock to caring for someone in that way.

As the still summer air turned into a cool fall breeze, I became bolder. School started strong and so did my relationship. Riley and I were a good together. We made each other better. I was starting to feel like I was going places. All of the fall was good. I opened up to him and other people around me. I began to feel smart and realize that the way I felt when I was little wasn’t a normal feeling. It wasn’t normal to feel stupid or like my opinion didn’t matter. I was beginning to learn that while it was okay to be shy and quiet, it wasn’t normal to be afraid to get close to people.

I was beginning to regain the voice I had lost to my parents not understanding my thoughts and feelings. Speaking my mind was becoming a habit, being comfortable with people was a goal. I was no longer known for being shy. Riley changed the game for me.

It was early in the winter when things began to change. Maybe it was the cold temperatures, the grey sky, or the temperamental Ohio weather but I was moody and no longer felt connected to Riley, at least I wanted to convince myself that I didn’t. A few weeks before Christmas I told him I needed a break, but by the end of February we had broken up. My school suffered a lot and my mental health did as well, I reverted to being quiet. I literally felt like all the oxygen in my chest had been sucked out.

So, now we’ve gone through my childhood, my first love, my first break-up, we’re nearing the end. You’re probably wondering what the conclusion of this is, We’re getting there. Hold on.

After working through about a month of hurt feelings Riley and I started talking again. It started up just as fast as before; I knew that part of me just needed him to keep me bold. It started that day at the pool but it didn’t end when our relationship did.

You’re probably sitting there thinking that I shouldn’t need a guy to bring me out of my shell, and you have a point. Through months of going back and forth between hating each other and loving each other Riley and I stopped talking. Nevertheless, I am still bold. I speak my mind probably too much and love people. Crazy character development right?

I have grown up so much through my highschool years. I learned a lot through the people I’ve met and people I’ve lost. So, what’s the conclusion? You’ve read all this way just to see how this story ends. Well, it ends with me being brave enough to share this with you through what I’ve written here. It ends with me recognizing that this is my voice and it is really awesome that I’m bold enough to share it with you. That’s how this story ends.