“Why do you care so much?”

6 words. That’s all it is. 6 words. But they follow me everywhere I go. The thing is, my answer is I don’t know.

10 messages flash across my phone screen all saying the same thing.

“Hailey! I need help!”

“I don’t understand this!”

“Physics is kicking my butt! Help!”

I walk out to my car and feel 2 more buzzes in my pocket and another 2 as I open my car door. I love my friends but this is going to be a long night.  I have always brought extra food because I knew my friends would need it and been the one who brought extra clothes to activities on cold nights. They are turning to me to help with phyics.

I have a natural talent for anything to do with numbers which shines true in math and physics. It’s just something that makes sense to me. Someone can plug numbers into a equation and get the answers out. It’s one of the simpler things in my complicated life.

I remember my teacher saying, “The physics report is due at 11:37pm”. I glance at the clock on my dashboard as I drive home. 9:15pm. I still have to finish the lab report. I scramble home and check my phone. I shake my head in disbelief. I don’t normally get many messages but now everyone seems to be needing some help. I was starting to get this feeling that I might let my friends down. 20 calculus problems, finshing the phyics lab and chapters of reading swim through my mind while I make a checklist of what I need to do. I feel like I am standing next to the Mt. Everest of stress and chores. I can’t help but feel small compared to it but I don’t have the heart to turn down people that need help. I care about them too much. So, I start with one of my friends.

“How do I figure out # 2. I’m confused about acceleration.”

a= ΔV/t flashed in my mind but confusion is written on my screen. As I explain, I feel my internal time clock telling me to move on and start my own work, and I ignore it.

I spend the next 10 minutes skimming what my classmate trying to text, and I try not to get frustrated but it is taking too long. My worry is suffocating me and I can barely focus on helping them. I might not make other deadlines. I realize that I’m not doing any good by just sitting and worrying but I carry on helping the same person to my best ability.

“Thanks Hailey! I got it! Have a good night” The last text read from my friend.

I ignore the rest of my friends until I have some of this worry behind me. I finally crack open my math work and figure out what is needed from me.  I trudge through my work because I worry about my friends but I push through. The moment I finish my work, I light up my phone to answer any more questions needed.

I’m the mom friend. I have always been the mom friend and will probably always be the mom friend. I have always been the one that cared the most. My friends are amazed at how I go out of my way to help people. Although I can’t succeed without focusing on myself every once in a while, I will always find a way to help people no matter what. Maybe I’m not Wonder Woman. I want to succeed at is helping people through my talent in numbers and my big heart. Biomedical engineering or teaching comes to mind when I think about what I want to do.  Why do I care so much? I still don’t know but it is my future.