Some people worry about whether their hair and outfit look perfect or not. Others worry whether they are number one in their school. I have always worried about how I compare to others, whether I am a useful person in general and whether I am unique at all- a truly personal issue.

As I grew older and entered high school, I realized that life gets more complex and competition-oriented in many things: love, school, work, and friendship. Due to competitive surroundings, I developed a strong self-consciousness and constantly compared myself with others. When my results do not come out in the range of expectations, let alone in the range of some of my more intelligent friends, I become temporarily distressed. I compare myself with them, believing that I do not belong with them. Even occasional lack of ability to help or contribute to a task as simple as an extra credit physics poster leads me to believe that I am not a useful and dependable person.

I had thought that people hold certain high expectations of me, which I frantically and hopelessly attempt to reach. It turns out that these high expectations that people appeared to have ended up being expectations I set for myself. Not being able to accomplish one task half as fast or thorough as one person or even not being able to contribute to each aspect of a group project had irritated me and I would feel useless thinking that my teammates would view me as a lazy or inadequate person.

One night I was finishing a project with one of the most intelligent guys in our physics class, but I spent most of the time doing the artistic portion of it, though there was not much to do in terms of art. I felt that I had not provided enough work to share any credit with him and was instantly distressed for a few days due to it.


Running to my friends for refuge and consultation, I had received similar responses from them all, discussing uniqueness and strengths of a person. Generally, I learned from them that working for what one has makes the results and the person strong, special, and most certainly useful. Also, comparing oneself to another person, especially in terms of academics, is unfair because it does not take into account all that constitutes the person: emotions, thoughts, special talents, and individual strengths.

I realize that the only comparison I should do is with myself. Any changes and growths I have undergone as well as any experiences I have had are the best comparisons I could make with my current self. I also learned to reevaluate myself to find the strengths and talents that I should nourish and improve upon. Most importantly, I have learned that what makes a person more competent is how she uses her resources and skills to her benefit as well as others. It is better to accomplish something with one’s best efforts than several tasks with mediocre efforts in the same time span. Thus, although I had not helped create the story or equations for the physics project, I had helped illustrate them and designed the presentation with my own artistic skills to my best ability. That effort, I learned, is what is worthy of credit and praise.

Even though I may not have entirely eliminated my personal issue of comparing myself with others, I now know the methods to approach it. It is a problem that has shaped who I was and directed me onto a path of realization, introspection, and ultimate growth.