I saw in a magazine today that “carbs” make you fat.

Thank you so much for someone trying to tell me I need to try their new fad diet, but I actually know how the human body works. Sure carbohydrates can lead to obesity for some people, but not because they are bad for you, just because places like McDonalds have them on their menu and serve 69 million people a day. 

Last I checked “NEW STUDIES SAY PROTEIN IS GREAT FOR YOU” and carbohydrates and protein have the same amount of calories per gram, so unless someone eats one too many hamburger buns and then get struck by lighting, I think I am going to keep enjoying my toast in the morning. 

I don’t even read the “NEW STUDIES” that come out these days, because anyone who finds a lab coat and glasses from the nearest costume store can post fake things on social media claiming they are a doctor to get a few clicks and views. And guess what? Whether they are right or wrong you will never know if they are a doctor or not. Maybe some people are too trusting, or want to be tricked, or have never met a scammer and sent 100$ to an “African Prince'', but it is almost like society wants to believe every single thing they hear.

I am a personal trainer, and just earlier today I had someone I coach send me the text, “I am trying to lose weight and I just bought this bag of  Mass Gainer. Do you think I should be drinking this when I workout?” I didn't even know how to respond, but last I checked losing weight and gaining mass are the exact opposite. It is just crazy how some people cannot connect the dots. I checked out his mass gainer, and I think each scoop of the powder might be able to cause early stages of diabetes. I politely told him it was not going to be helpful in his weight loss journey. 

Society today is not just too trusting, but they want everything done so fast. 

When you want to know if that African Prince you just sent money to is actually real, you can just search up if Wakanda is a real country and find the answer in two seconds. Training people in the fitness industry is so difficult because results take so much time to see. 

After I got done training a few folks in their fifties, they said they love how I teach fitness “the NATURAL way like Arnold Schwarzenegger.” I do not want to destroy their fantasies of their old bodybuilding hero Arnold, but to look as good as Arnold, you need more needles of testosterone pinned in your asscheeks than their NATURAL hard working good ol’ protein shakes. 

These false expectations might just be why people want their results so fast. 

The average fitness goer compares themselves to superheroes on the movie screens that are so juiced up the directors have to worry about their roid rage during scenes. Not to mention the special effects and perfect lighting that make their body’s look even manlier. I don’t blame our batmans, spidermans, aquamans, and I don’t know these days maybe we have a steroid man, for wanting to take these performance enhancing supplements. If you told me I could gain twenty pounds of lean muscle and look like I live in the weight room, AND you would PAY me 15 million dollars to do it and also make me SUPERMAN I would do it too. Nevermind the lists of enhancing drugs with names so long you couldn’t even read them with the little voice in your head. These “super” heroes make enough money on one steroid cycle to support their families for the rest of their lives. 

My problem with this whole ordeal is then you see so many people in the world thinking they can look just like then naturally. And then they go on their podcast, interviews, talk shows, and tell viewers if they just eat their chicken and broccoli they can be superman too. 

This does not just hurt men, but women as well. 

There are supermodels who starve themselves for weeks and are so starving they cry of happiness when they get a bite of bread after their photoshoot. Women do not see that though. What they see is the unmaintainable amount of thin their celebrity role model is and think they have to be that way. 

Entering an industry where women expect their men to be six foot five and muscular and also save the city from bad guys with their superpower , and men expect their women to be skin and bones skinny every day of their lives just becomes super toxic. 

This is all why people want their instant results. If the internet says “Ironman drinks this drink before every workout and if you do you will be strong too!” people genuinely expect to be instantly that strong. 

Self-Evaluation

What Was Challenging? 

I found adding in humor challenging. I teach people these things every single day, and sometimes even get paid to do it. This made it hard for me to find ways to slip in jokes, exaggerations, and more. I wanted to make it so people could actually learn from my writing while thinking it was funny at the same time. I struggled at first, but then found a way to accomplish both goals at the same time. By calling out people who get fooled by the tricks in the fitness industry, it can make readers want to become more aware of how maybe they are being fooled. Through this style of writing and exposing people, I was able to add humor, while readers can find ways to learn.

What Was Rewarding?

The rewarding part about this assignment is I could write about whatever I wanted. Even though I was voting on books to write about throughout the semester in this class, I was still given the selection to vote on. For this assignment I found writing a great amount easier because I had so much freedom. When writing about something I revolve a good amount of my life around, two pages felt like one paragraph.

Ways the Professional Model, “A Few Good Men & a Few Others:” Funny Writing From Clean Comic Shaun Eli, helped with my own topic.

Eli’s professional model helped me write because of the way he writes. The way Eli writes is almost as if he is speaking words onto paper. So much of his writing is filled with sarcastic questions, fully capitalized words, snarky comments, and more. I decided to use Eli’s speaking/writing style on my own because I wrote on things I DO talk about.

Ways I Needed to Diverge From the Model to be True to Your Topic and Main Point.

The main way I diverged from my model was the personal aspect of writing. When my model Eli wrote, he spoke about situations constantly impacting his own life. These situations even impacted his daily life in the very city he lived in and jobs he worked. I wrote about something I personally care about, but I wrote about an entire billion dollar industry. I was not demanding physical change like Eli was, I was trying to open people's eyes or change their minds. That is because Eli worked a small political job and complained about local politics , but I just care about health and cannot change a billion dollar industry.