I don’t think I could explain all of me. Not unless you had some years to sit and talk. Some things I say in the beginning may not ring true by the end, and that’s what I love about people. I am filled with love for a lot of things, and they all have just enough room in my heart. Human perception/relativity is one of them (Lolonyo Teasley, ever curious), but I don’t need to master anthropology or psychology or anything like that. I like consuming media and seeing what others create. Finding out what happens during the process of creation – that’s in that vein of understanding that I‘m drawn to.   Therefore, . . .

     Success is important to me, but isn't it for everybody? Back in fourth grade, I had writing assignments that I would never turn in because I didn’t think they were finished, or good enough to share. I didn’t receive letter grades until seventh grade, but you’d better believe I would have had a low D. I’ve been unlearning that since, and it’s only made me better. Perfection is never as important as success. To me, at least, because I’m old enough now, and I can recognize myself. I’ll know if I’m postponing doing work that I'd arguably be good at, and I can discard any fear of imperfection. I suppose that’s something I’ve succeeded in – acceptance. If I tried to dig into why that lesson had to be learned, though, I’d never get anything else done. Too much has shaped who I am and who I will be for a single person to pin down “why.” Best leave that maze of curiosity to itself.

      Sometimes when I see a story told in the most wondrous detail I think, did this happen? Dragon fights and laser guns don’t count. I mean when a character or the author is expressing something so well you can almost taste it. They’re pulling adjectives out of thin air and suddenly the story surrounds you, as real as the sun. Using the “write what you know” tip isn’t always the way to go, I’ll admit, but sometimes you need that accuracy. If you couldn’t guess, reading is absolutely my favorite thing. I honestly don’t pay attention to authors as much as I should (unless the book is super good, in which case I will look them up IMMEDIATELY). I have friends that are writers, though, and that humanizes their works a lot more. I don’t usually write through the lens of my experiences, but some of my friends do. Reading what they write makes me more conscious of published authors and their role in the work. They wrote it, obviously, but I want to know if they’re in it. Was the hero’s friend inspired by their friends? Have they tasted the things the innkeeper is selling? I wonder what the muses are for beautiful creations. 

     I used to want to be a geologist. At the ripe age of five, I thought rocks were so perfect and wonderous, I had to know everything about them. Some things I say at five years old may not ring true at sixteen, right? It isn’t like geology isn’t interesting anymore, but that’s not where my focus is; not where I see myself going. Ideally, I go to college, get a decent job, and provide for my family. But how boring is that? My main goal in life is to be a helper without putting myself at disadvantage. I can do that without getting a draining 9-5 desk job. Probably. I know we can’t get what we want all the time, me especially, because I have too many things I want to do and too little room to explore. Working at a library or bookstore, even being an author would be incredible. How can I compliment the world? Stories, of course. I think storytelling is my strongest offer, so writing isn’t only on the table, it practically is the table. Some of my more out of range aspirations involve fame. A simple stage crew position on Broadway would be a dream, let alone being the talent, and ending up a figure just by myself works too. I’d like to think I’d use a good amount of that money to help my family, and then other people. Contributing to the well-being of my family has priority, no matter how successful I am. 

     Down from the wing of my fancy, I just want to do something that I love for a living. Why spend a lifetime dreading the days ahead? Lou Wilson as Kingston Brown said, "We're family. We take care of each other, all right? You're on the block, you come ask Kingston. You need something, I give it to you." That character has the energy I want to bring into adulthood, but for now, I’ll stick to looking up to Sid the Science Kid. Not really, but you see the resemblance, right?. Endlessly asking in an effort to know. There are way too many questions to ask, though, and truly not enough answers. I think one question I’ll never be able to answer would be, “what’s next?” No one knows, but I am very, very curious.