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Caring Is Exhausting
The mistake I made was caring too much about what people think and always changing for them and what they think. Even if they didn't even care about what I look like or what I do.
When I was in elementary school I would look at everyone in the room with me and think that everyone hates me because I have ADHD. I was naturally loud and very hyper. Everyone around me can stay calm and do their work while I have to go to the office everyday to get my ADHD medicine so I can be calm. Over the course of years I got better at paying attention, doing my schoolwork, and “being less annoying.”
Sometimes I still shut down and stop talking or texting people because I think they hate me or think that I'm annoying. I've always loved being around people and talking to them but then some thoughts in the back of my head say that I'm being too annoying and my friends are going to leave me. Me caring too much always would show when I cried for someone that would say something that I didn't like.
The thing that made me stop caring about what people thought was when my friend said “ you're too sensitive, no one will like you if you can't take a joke.” After he said that, I started to ignore everyone and started to really think that everyone hated me. I told my mom and she wasn't no help. The only person that gave me any reassurance was my best friend.
After that I promised myself that I wouldn't cry as much as I did when I was younger. Yes I may cry now and then but don't we all. We're all human so of course we cry and have feelings that we should express.
I learned that if you care too much about things then you will ghost people out of nowhere and you will get depressed and lonely. It can cause major problems and consequences.
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I will always care but I wont be able to show it