It was a normal night in the summer of 2017, when I began twisting and turning during my comfortable slumber. I was buried under my warm, fluffy blankets. As I peaked my head out, I was greeted by the soft whispers of my parents outside my bedroom. All I could think about was, “Why are my parents awake at 4 AM?” Every idea had started to run through my head. Did something bad happen? Did my dog need to be let outside? Did they just randomly wake up? I was far too comfortable to get out of bed to find out, so instead I drifted back into my deep sleep, where everything was peaceful and calm.

My eyes slowly opened the next morning. I felt the heat of the sun covering my room from the window. As I rolled out of bed, I threw on my slippers and walked down the stairs, where I could smell greasy bacon and sweet, fresh cinnamon rolls, coming from the kitchen. I met my parents in the kitchen, where they were sitting at the island table. They were never at the table this early in the morning. My parents were usually at work or still in bed at this time. When I entered the room Ifelt the nervous stares pointed at me. I felt my heart sink to my stomach. At that moment, I knew something was wrong.“Why don’t you sit down,” my mom said, while holding back tears. I took a seat at the table, in between my mom and dad, with a worried look on my face. “Grandma passed away late last night. The doctors don’t know exactly why, but she was very old and sick so we should’ve seen this coming.” Tears filled my eyes quickly. I put my head down on the table, thinking about how I will never see her again. I felt my mom’s warm hands rubbing against my back as she tried to keep me calm. I heard the cries of my brothers from upstairs, knowing they had heard the news before I did. The worst part about it all was she didn’t even know who I was. I was just a lost memory to her.

My grandma had Alzheimer’s disease. She had been put into a nursing home about 4 years prior to her death. Her memories with her grandchildren slowly faded, along with the memories with her own children, and even her own childhood. The memories weren’t the only thing forgotten. Over time our names were of no value to her. Every day I would visit, I would stick my name tag onto my shirt, hoping that one day I would be able to take it off. I never did get to take off that sticker.

Alzheimer’s disease is a neurological disease that slowly deteriorates one’s memories and mental function. Most people do believe that these are the symptoms of the disease, which is true, but there is much more to it. Although the disease itself is not contagious, it affects everyone associated with the person who has been diagnosed. When someone watches a loved one become lost in a world they have lived in for decades, it can destroy one’s mental health. There are no cures for either disease. Alzheimer’s and mental health issues have one thing in common. They both share the symptoms of becoming lost. 

An audience that has not shared the experience of losing a loved one to Alzheimer’s, most likely possesses their own perspective on the connection between Alzheimer’s and mental health. Some may wonder how someone can compare a neurological disease that rips away one's memories and slowly deteriorates their mental function, to mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety. The only similarity is they are both diseases that are neurological. Scientists can prove many ways the two can connect and how they are different, but, from my experience, there's no better fact than from someone who has experienced this long term disease first hand.

When I heard the news I was filled with so many feelings. Shock, pain, sadness, but most prominent, was the feeling of relief. The fight was finally over. As much as I wanted to be sad that I was never going to see my grandma again, I couldn’t be. I knew I had lost her a long time ago, so knowing the fight with my mental health issues, that her diseaser had brought to my entire family, was finally over, was the most relieving feeling.

There is a long list of long term diseases that can easily wipe out an entire family. Because of this, I feel that these diseases should be prioritized by researchers. Finding a cure for diseases that take away a person’s life and personality, has the potential to cure so much more than just the disease itself. Many individuals suffer from depression and anxiety, caused by a family member's illness, and not everyone can overcome their mental health issues. Balancing a life with mental health issues is one of the hardest things to overcome, all while watching a family member’s personality and life slowly erode. It can make someone feel helpless. Fighting for the happiness of your own family is so frustrating, especially when the person you used to tell everything to, is unable to comprehend a single thing being said.

A few weeks after her death, me and my family drove 3 hours north to attend her funeral. Of course there were tears, but they were outweighed by the smiles. I looked around and watched all of the people that loved my grandma dearly, reminisce on what she once was. Everyone told stories, and shared memories and inside jokes. On my way to the funeral, all I could think was that I was about to go to a black and white funeral, where my grandma wasn’t celebrated for how loving and passionate she truly was. I was completely wrong. As I looked around the room and watched everyone laugh, I felt like I could breathe again. No one was tense anymore. Everyone was calm and felt so free. The fight was finally over.