“If only I could have saved her. The ambulance got there within five minutes, but I couldn’t save her on my own. This is my fault.” My cousin Chris gasped for air between his sobs while explaining the situation to my Aunt Patti.
She threw her arms around him squeezing him close to her. “This is not your fault, Christopher!”
Standing in the hospital, watching the St. Luke’s waiting room gradually fill up, I saw the faces of my loved ones swell with tears. Aunt Patti walked into the room holding a miracle. Six-weeks in age, Sam did not understand the significant effect this would have on his life.
“Can I hold him?” I could see the resemblance in Sam to his mother. I loved this baby boy, and couldn’t imagine what his father was going through. Aunt Patti handed Sam to me, and her sleeve dampened as she wiped her face. Who would be his mother if Liz didn’t make it? I knew Sam needed more love than ever.
My friend Abi was waiting for me to get home. We planned to hang out at her house that evening and have a sleepover. Looking at Sam, I wanted to stay in that hospital and take care of him. The innocence in his eyes brought hope to the situation.
“Everything is going to be okay, Sam,” I said. Although I knew he couldn’t comprehend what was happening, these words brought a smile to his face.
“Lindsey, we have to go. Abi is expecting you to come over tonight.” My mom, trying to be strong around Sam, kissed him on the forehead. “You are a living miracle, you know that?” She smiled.
“Mom, I don’t have to go over there tonight. I just want to stay here and take care of Sam.” As an eighth grader, it was a surprise for my mom to hear that. I always wanted to be with my friends, but that day was different. I knew I needed to be with my family.
On March 8, 2006, Sam’s mom passed. He was too young to understand the sadness and the tears, but his life flashed through my eyes as I knew what had happened. Life without his mother would not be like my childhood, but I knew I could help. By just babysitting him, playing with him, and listening to him, I could make an impact on his life. His aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and father would have to somehow replace the significant role of his mother, and it would not be easy. We all would do anything for this little boy.