June 16th 2010 was one of the saddest days I ever had. It was also the only day, as far as I can remember, the first time I cried.

I got back home from Physics Regents content with my performance. I was getting ready to go out with my friends. But my father called me on my cell phone. I thought to myself ‘Why would he call me on my phone? We usually talk on Skype. And it’s 5 in the morning in Korea.’ I picked up. My dad spoke in firm but noticeably sad and teary voice. He told me grandfather just passed away few hours ago. I felt like sky collapsed. My grandfather has been severely ill for over 3 years with diabetes complications, dementia, and many other illnesses. He was so weak that he couldn’t even go to the bathroom or eat without my grandmother’s assistance. But I always had faith in myself that when I get back home, he’d be there waiting for me. And I can make up for all those time I was away studying. The idea of him not being there just killed me.
He was a strict old man. But he was always nicer to me and loved me the most, because I was his first grandson. After part of my family moved to U.S he developed severe amentia. My father and grandma told me whenever my father was at the hospital he’d ask for me; he forgot that I was in U.S. He wasn’t especially happy when my cousins visited him. He’d ask if they knew I was doing well and when I’m going to come see him. I only got to talk to him handful of times on the phone because he’d cry when he heard my voice. Sometimes he wouldn’t even speak.
I should have gone to his funeral. I had volunteer activities and a summer course. But I really should have. I left my dad, the first son, who had the duty of taking care of the funeral, alone. As his first son, I was supposed to be there helping him. One of his good friends took over my job. I wasn’t there when he needed me. By the time I decided to go, it was too late.
I felt horrible about not being able to see him and not being able to tell him how much I loved him. Most of all, I regret not being at his funeral. This taught me a valuable lesson. I should always listen to my heart and do what I think is right without hesitation. That way I won’t have any regrets. Also, I’m going to work hard and succeed. Up there in the heaven, my grandpa will see me and smile.