There were no sharks circling me. I wasn’t clinging to a ledge hundreds of feet above ground. I wasn’t lost in a dark alley…but I was still scared.
It was the night before the first day of high school and my mind was full of worries: of new people. Of harder classes. Of the 2,400 students in my school.
“Are you excited for your first day?” my mom asked.
The pressure hung over me and I immediately burst into tears. The television shows I watched glorified high school, making it seem like the most important four years of my life. And going from a class of 40 to over 500 was a substantial transition.
I was anxious and not handling it well. But my mom hugged and comforted me, saying the next day would be great.
She was wrong. The first weeks of school were grim. I acted painfully shy, even though I’m naturally gregarious and laidback. I sat silently in class, even though I knew the answers. I feared doing or saying things out of the ordinary in fear that I would be judged and labeled for the rest of high school. And that fear took hold of me until I had no voice, and no personality.
As the monotonous schooldays passed by, I realized I needed to make a change if I ever wanted to achieve my perfect high school experience. So I slowly forced myself out of my comfort zone. I talked to a new person in class. That wasn’t too bad. Then I made plans with them outside of school. What’s the worst that could happen? Then, basketball season arrived. Practices took up most of my time and my team needed me. I was finally at ease.
After slowly forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone, I grew out of my uncertainty. Looking back, it surprises me how I let my fears control me. I regret the time I wasted growing to be comfortable in who I am, but I like the person I became.
I may not have the ideal high school dream I was hoping for, but I’m enjoying the present and looking forward to the future: to lifelong friends. To intriguing classes. And to fulfilling my purpose in life.