Small black dots and odd symbols arranged on a piece of paper lined with five black lines and four white spaces. That is what many people see when they look at a piece of sheet music. I, on the other hand, see infinitely more than just that. I see the sound, the patters, and the crescendos to the climax of the piece. I not only see the music, but I feel the music, and I feel the time and effort that is put into the final product. I have never been in love with someone, but I have unconditionally loved something; and that something is music.
When I began playing the flute, I used the flute as something fun to occupy myself when I was bored. As I grew older, flute became not only a hobby as well as a passion, but it became an outlet for all of the emotions that come with adolescence. As we grow up, people change, and lives change. My flute, and music, was the one constant through all of the changes and chaos of growing up. It was the one element in my life that I felt would never change, and would never let me down as long as I kept pushing harder to improve. Flute and music has had a special way of keeping me grounded, even through all of the tough times.
At the very beginning of junior year, I lost someone whom I was very close to. That very same night, my flute teacher told me that I had been selected as one of five students out of over forty to perform in the annual winter Honors Concert. Music has a way of always being there for me when I most need it. Music is unlike any person. Regardless of the drama, the arguments and disagreements, music is – and will always – be there for me. When I most need that small shred of consistency to hold on to, I can pick up my flute – just a silver tube with a few buttons and levers – and I play. In a piece of music, that B-flat in measure 53, will always be a B-flat. There is an element of consistency in music that will never change.
Those moments, those days, where I feel as if the world is falling down around me are the times where I pick up my flute and play. I don’t just play the flute, I put all of the feelings that seem to be dragging me down, and I let them speak through the music. It is a release and a form of expression. Those black notes and five black lines aren’t just music to me; they are a way to tell myself to keep going. People change. Lives change. But, I know, as long as I have that piece of music in front of me, I will be able to keep moving forward.