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Father's Example MAG
At age 16, he sat beneath the street light to study until exhaustion kicked in. Sometimes, if he was lucky, the high school guard would let him sneak into the empty corridors to escape the cold. Other nights, the guard shooed him away. The lack of electricity in the home that he shared with six family members was one of the easier roadblocks to overcome on his path to becoming a doctor.
Despite impoverished conditions, supporting his family after his father’s death, and the 60 percent illiteracy rate of his country, Pakistan, my father defeated the odds when he established his own medical practice in Peshawar. However, he decided to leave this comfortable lifestyle and move to America to ensure limitless opportunities for his family.
Because of his sacrifice, I strive to take advantage of every opportunity. I transferred from my familiar suburban middle school to a challenging international baccalaureate program. Although I made sacrifices, like my father, by switching schools, I have no regrets. At my current high school, I have unlimited opportunities to excel and interact with students from many backgrounds. Leaving my friends and the comfort of living five minutes from school were a small price to pay after I put my life in perspective. Changing schools gave me the drive to pursue rigorous courses. My educational future will challenge and push me.
For the remainder of high school, I hope to keep my grades consistent, excel on standardized tests, and participate in summer programs. I understand that grades do not define a person, but I am motivated to study, like my father, until I reach success. The summer after graduation, I plan to take calculus at the state university for college credit and to strengthen my math skills.
I firmly believe that to develop our society we must first assist the less fortunate. I hope to choose a career that lets me do this. My motivation to become a doctor stems from my desire to ease the pain of others. I am also exploring an occupation in foreign affairs. Our world seems to forget that diplomacy can be the key to solving many problems and that peace can emerge as a result of compromise. I realize that education is the groundwork of my future and that I must build a solid foundation in my education to achieve my objectives.
Unlike my father’s sisters, who married young and never graduated high school, I realize that my life in America offers infinite possibilities, and I must work to benefit from all of them. My father worked his entire life to secure my future. I owe it to him, and to myself, to make something of my education.
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This article has 9 comments.
I Thank you for your good thinking and wish you a successful journey of life.
Its remarkable that your father overcame all of those obstacles and that they inspired you to do better for yourself. Still, changing schools isn't as challenging a feat and the schools that you're applying to already know all about IB, your standardized test scores, math skills, etc. The whole point of this essay is that they want to get to know you.
Instead of just saying that you value your education and want to be a doctor, show us an example us something you've done to prove it. You may not have to sit by a street light to study, but maybe you volunteered at a hospital and made connections with the patients. I'm sure there are many things you can say to show them that you will be a fantastic doctor.
Despite my comments, your essay is obviously well structured for the most part because its on Teen Ink.