My Lesson of Forgiveness


“Forgiveness is the healing of wounds caused by another. You choose to let go of a past wrong and no longer be hurt by it. Forgiveness is a strong move to make like turning your shoulders sideways to walk quickly on a crowded sidewalk. It’s your move.” (Anonymous 7/7/03).

As a child, I wouldn’t have exactly called myself normal. I’ve always had many obstacles going on in my life that I’ve had to deal with. My mother never treated me like a child and never let me do things children were supposed to be doing. She made me feel like I was never supposed to be brought into this world. All I ever heard was “you’re never going to amount to anything, Hailey”. All I wanted was attention from her, and for her to be proud of me. She caught me off guard the day she told me that she never cared!
There were many lessons that needed to be learned; and I was forced to grow up entirely too fast and never enjoy my childhood. I felt like I was the only person on earth going through the things I was going through. I was holding a grudge and full of emotions that were tearing me apart. I was encompassed by feelings of mistrust, hurt, and anger.

One of the most important lessons that I’ve had to learn was forgiveness. It was very difficult for me to forgive my mother when I had negative influences and distractions surrounding me everywhere I went. I never could get away from it. There
have been many instances in which I have had to forgive, but not forget. I truly believe that God wants us to learn from our hurts and in turn grow in wisdom.

I have come to realize that if we take our life experiences and remember them instead of forgetting them, they can be used as the basis for the decisions we make in our future. When I base my decisions on my past experiences, I make sure that I look at the bad and good consequences that could come from the decision I make. Everyone
has to learn the hard way, but I’m a strong believer of “what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger”.

Is forgiveness a selfish act, a way to make ourselves feel better? When you forgive, you’re setting yourself free and acknowledging that it is not beneficial to hate. Hate destroys the other person and inevitably yourself. Forgiveness is an important aspect of our humanity. It is a gift that only we have been bestowed, an ability that enables us to fully heal emotionally.

My personal reflection of forgiveness is when you forget about the past, you no longer want to hurt those who hurt you, and you are capable of moving on. Everyone at some point in their life will understand how to forgive and the importance of it. I would have to say that I am very pleased and fortunate to have learned how to forgive earlier than others. The thing that’s awkward to me is that my mother was the one who used to always preach to me about forgiveness, and she hasn’t even learned to forgive herself. If my mother cared, I know she would be proud that I have learned to forgive. If she cared, I would tell her that I forgive her.