I was hopeless, watching the rest. Who was I? And why was I not with them. As the sun cut its arm, and extended its flowing blood to me, I felt its beat. The ringing light brought clarity. A tinted vision, it was almost too much. My first moment of true, deep thought would come of this surreal sense of surrounding. My friends were running, careless, in the breeze of the wind. Yet, I had stayed in my room. Why? I did not know. Depression? I thought not. I was five years old! Why wasn’t I out there? It was the perfect summer weather, where you feel the constant motivation to explore, imagine and play. The time of season where the cornfield by my house held a maze of witches and treasure. I watched as the laughter of these kids were made silent by my closed window. Somehow, I didn’t want to hear their laughs. With the endless smiles and expressions of their faces, I was worried the sound would ruin it. Eventually, I had sat beneath my window. With the vivid strength of the hazy orange light, I could hardly see the outlines of my walls. It was a vision blurred, and I searched for clarity.
There was dust in the midst of this light, and it created a vast, complex sight. Where one speck of nothingness twirled with the other in an endless dance, a clear creation of some splendid something. It was a universe. Each one had its life, a life that by all mathematics and measurements could never again be repeated. The tiniest of movements in the room could move these lives in a different direction. Re-creation of this moment could never again happen. For that reason it was sacred, and kept by me.

This individual moment became everything. I changed there, with my back against the grainy wall. The plain colored wood of my sill hung above my head as I gazed. How could I be normal? I hoped I wasn’t, I knew I wasn’t. With a schizophrenic grandma, my mom taking pills to be sane, and the utmost stereotype of a manly-man as my dad… What were the odds of me ever being normal? A mix of insanity and complete simplicity.

In the infinite string of time, I had now, my first contemplation on the complexity that life is. I found my goal in life. My mind would be an endless struggle. A battleground of thoughts where I would, from now on, challenge everything. To accept my individuality, to both create and dismantle views on the world, until I had found the way the universe truly worked. Until I answered the forbidden fruit of questions. I sought a complete understanding and the highest of wisdom, a path that these specs of nothing had bestowed upon me.

This was a quest to reach the highest tower. A journey, with a road lain by those great thinkers before me. An ignorance of all great resource to knowledge is unbearable to me. I shall pour myself into this oddly traveled dirt road. A trail that, dare I say, takes effort. There are stepping stones to understanding, yet the distractions of this world seem too great. I stare at the mountains in the valley of my room’s flat carpet. Foot and destiny, flush, firm, and proud to be brought together. The gazing black clouds ahead are strewn with hate, and the road upon I stand, seeks their master. Hell-bent, I sought impossibility. Mortal-ridden, I seek to complete the path before my death. There in my room, was my start. Truth, unbiased truth, wisdom’s treasure, and power in knowledge, I desire. Gazing at a galaxy of nothing exposes how little we truly know of a galaxy that is our something. I want to know.