A towel laid over his entire lower half of his body.  Blood soaked through where his calf was placed.  A brace covered his neck.  His arms were by his side.  IVs were attached everywhere.  The nurse calmly states that we are in the room and asks if Anthony remembers us.  Remembers us?  Why wouldn’t he remember us? Anthony opens his eyes and focuses directly on me.  I will never forget what he said to me: “I swear to God, if you think this is your fault then I’m going to be mad.”  But it was my fault.  I’m the reason my brother got hit by a car.  I didn’t mean for it to happen, it’s just one of those cases where I didn’t do the right thing.  One moment can change everything and I knew that, but I didn’t think something so drastic could happen just by saying “no”.

It was a warm day, even for the middle of winter.  I laid on my stomach holding my phone as I Facetimed Gerald.  I just wanted to relax and talk to the person that calmed me while listening to the snow melt off the roof and trickle off the ledge.  “Kristina, can you give me a ride to Zoltan’s house?” my brother, Anthony, asked.  If I were to drive Anthony then I wouldn’t have been able to relax.  Still laying down, I turned my head in his direction.

“No and mom probably wouldn’t want you to anyways.”
“I already called her and she said it’s fine.  Just drive me.  It’s only two minutes away.”
“No, Anthony.”
“Fine, I’ll bike over there.”

If I had known that he would never make it to Zoltan’s house, I would have driven him.  That afternoon, the phone rang and I lept up to get it realizing that it was my mother calling me.  As I picked up the phone and said hello, my mom’s frantic voice asked if Anthony was home.  It took me a while to answer her; all the terrible scenarios were running through my mind like raging rapids.  I had finally answered “no” and my mother erupted in tears on the other line.  All she could say was “It’s true. It’s true.”

“What’s true?  Mom, what’s going on?”

“Anthony was hit by a car!”  My heart sank down to my stomach and there was nothing that could hold back my tears.  My mom began to tell me something, but I couldn’t hear a thing.  All I could catch was that she was coming to pick me up so we could go to him in the hospital.

After my brother came home to recover, I did everything I could for him.  With a broken leg and collarbone, there wasn’t much he could do on his own and I was happy to oblige.  I treasured every second that he was near me because I failed as an older sister that day.  I swore I would never let that happen again.  Now we are closer than ever.  All those times we used to fight are all in the past.  We realized that life can end in a snap and we don’t want our last memories of each other to be us fighting.  Not only that, but just thinking back on it, that could have been me that was hit.  Without my brother’s broad, football player body, I would have been a goner.  I don’t want to live my life (whether it be a long or short one) knowing that I didn’t strive to be the best I could or didn’t set goals because I was too afraid I wouldn’t reach them.  I make sure to enjoy my life now and I appreciate everything that I have including my brother.