I believe everyone knows that one overconfident person.  The one guy who will say or do anything to show superiority or strut their stuff.  The people with seemingly no self-doubt.  This for the most part is considered a bad thing, but I don't think it necessarily is.  People like that hold that killer confidence, the confidence that they can do anything.  They're never scared to try anything, where the one with no confidence will try nothing or very little of anything new.  I believe that confidence can get anyone anywhere and our doubts are just the barriers blocking the way.

It was a nice warm day in Clarksville, Indiana during the year 2009.  I had just recently got out of school so it was the summer time and for me, the heart of my baseball season.  This was when I really focused a lot on baseball where now it is more divided between it and basketball.  I had a game that day that meant a little more than usual although.  It was the championship game of the midseason tournament at the kids’ baseball league that they held there and it was a game that my team and I fully expected to win.  So I went through a normal day for me consisting of food, mental preparation, and even video games.  But soon it was 4:45 p.m. and time to go and play some baseball.

Game time was set for 5:30 p.m. and our coach had something to tell us.  He said, “Guys, we will be missing a couple of key players today.  A couple of players that could probably single handedly win us this game, but they will not be present.”  I looked around and saw no sign of Brandon or Christian, two players who played with the older kids as well as this team.  According to coach they went up to play the championship with their team for the 9-10 year old league where we were in the 8 year old league.   I thought to myself Okay, calm down, this game is still ours, we just need to execute.   So after 45 minutes of warming up the game began.  The time came for us to win this tournament and get a first round bye for the end of the season tournament.  I batted fourth in the lineup, which is known as the cleanup hitter.  Our first batter hit a single, and the other two moved him all the way over to third base.  So I came up to the plate with the chance to give us the first run of the game.  I remember getting in my stance ready to bat.  The pitcher threw the ball and I, for some reason, started to think about what would happen if I screwed up.  I saw the ball coming and thought to myself Oh yeah, right down the middle I’m going to nail this one, but what if I-.

“Strike One!” yelled the umpire.  So I stepped up again with the intention to absolutely smack the crap out of the ball.  I saw the ball coming and thought Nice another meatball, I should smack this one. Yea here it comes but I might miss- “Strike Two!” shouted the umpire. Next time I stepped up nervously, I had never been down in a 0-2 count before so I stepped and gave a swing, thinking I would never hit the ball and guess what, I missed and had my first ever strikeout.  My lack of confidence stayed with me throughout the game.  I had a ton of field errors and struck out again on my other two at bats.  I was expected to be one of the people to help us win the game, but my doubt instead caused a loss.  I had never really lost before because I was super competitive and wouldn’t really accept it if I did lose.  This lose was one that stuck to me though, only because my confidence and I caused it.

This occurred at another time when I was lived in Indiana and it even took place the same year.  I had a really good friend there named Brandon, the same one who I mentioned in the baseball memory.  We were the two stars of our basketball team at St. Paul Elementary School.  We hadn’t had the best season due to me and Brandon playing up sometimes.  This would be one of the few times we would both play together, but it couldn’t have been at a more important time.  We needed one more win to make the playoffs of our basketball league.  It was a game that we should win by a decent amount as the caliber of the team we were facing wasn’t very high.  We went in confidently at 2:30 p.m. when warm ups started and came out confident at the 3:00 p.m. tip-off.

We had gotten the ball first and stretched out to an early lead in the opening minutes in the first quarter.  We were playing well and executing nicely, but I picked up two really quick fouls which I thought were a bit soft although they were still called.  This was near the end of the first quarter and meant I pretty much had to sit until the second half to prevent foul trouble, leaving most of the pressure on Brandon.  He got in a rush mentally and turned the ball over a few times in a row in the second quarter allowing the other team to go on a run and even out the game.  Everyone in the gym could see it, Brandon was doubting himself.  He tried to force it, but he’d turn it over.  He didn’t believe in his ball handling so he got stripped.  We were lucky to come in at halftime tied with how bad of a second quarter we had.  As one could imagine the attitude was low, everyone was down, and we thought we were actually going to lose.  But thank the Lord the coach talk gave us back some of our fire and we came out with a passion to win.

It was the start of the 3rd quarter so I finally got back in the game.  We began to show signs of the team from the first quarter and got out to a lead by the end of the period. The only bad thing is I picked up my third and fourth fouls, meaning if I fouled again, I am out of the game.  The fourth quarter was okay for the first few minutes, we held our lead, and we played good defense until I tried to take a charge.  I was in the right position, my feet were set, and it should’ve been a definite charge call as the guy bulldozed right through me.  But refs in an elementary school league don’t call charges, so I fouled out, and I have to sit for the rest of the game.  I even remember asking the ref how it wasn’t a charge because his call confused me and he replied, “Son, you made a smart play, but there is almost no such thing as a charge in a league with kids this young.”  I just nodded my head and sat on the bench sulking because I knew what was bound to happen.  Now this is where all of the pressure fell to Brandon, he would have to carry the team now that I was out of the game.  Then we saw the return of the Brandon from the second quarter.  He kept his cool for the rest of the third and half of the fourth quarter, but then he just started to choke in clutch time.  We were only up by a few points with two minutes left and he turned the ball over two consecutive times allowing the opposition to get back in the game.  But then it all came down to two free throws Brandon would have to shoot.  I remember him walking up to line, face ashen and arms shaking.  I think he already thought he was going to miss before he shot.  Brandon then shot and air balled two free throws which allowed the other team to come down and hit a game winning shot, kicking us out of the playoffs.  Brandon’s lack of confidence cost us the most important game of the season.  I’ll admit it was partially on me, but he would end up taking the full brunt of why we lost.  It just shows that if doubt settles in, anyone one of us can lose.

Taking place this year, this memory is the most recent of the three.  During the first quarter of the 2014-2015 school year at T.K. Stone I had to take a test in Algebra I.  Now I had already gotten a 95% on the quiz, but thought I knew absolutely nothing before the test.  I didn’t study the night before, I didn’t do any practice problems, and I didn’t even look up how to do what we were being taught.  I just winged it, went through the day, cramming in all the stuff I thought I would need to know for the test.  4th period came very quickly and I studied as much as possible before class started.  Mrs. Coogle addressed the class and began to hand out tests.  Everybody said they were going to fail and to be honest I thought I would too.

So the moment of truth arrived known as the test. I looked at the test and saw the first two problems and thought Hey, this looks like it’s going to be really easy.  So I quickly solved those two problems and looked at the third one, and my mind just went blank.  I just got so confused on that one problem and since most tests tend to get harder as you go, I just blanked and thought I wouldn’t get any more of them right excluding the obvious ones.  I had tried to take my time on the test and check everything attempting to make sure it looked like it could be right.  Basically put I really just winged it on the test.  I ended up being one of the last ones to turn in the paper, but I wasn’t the only one with a face of worry after I did turn it in.  Most of the class thought they absolutely didn’t even get anything right and I was a part of that group.

The test was given about a week before fall break and I’ll even admit I banked a little on test corrections when I started to guess on the test.  Our class did horrible overall minus a few students and I scored a 79% on the test.  I know it’s not the best grade to get ever, but that was what I thought I should get when I took the test.  That’s what I thought until I looked back at the problems I had missed.  I had forgotten two negative signs, graphed three the wrong way, and didn’t simplify two problems.  I should’ve only missed one problem which genuinely confused me, but I tried to solve it and I got it right on the first try.  I didn’t check as well as I could have thinking I was already going to fail and have to do test corrections, but if I showed some sort of confidence in my own ability, I guarantee I would would’ve made a high B or an A.  My high levels of self-doubt got to me and I couldn’t make it over that barrier.  Although I now realize confidence is a key part of a lot more things than sports and I sure as heck learned studying even a little bit can boost that confidence to level needed.

Whether one chooses to belief it or not, confidence will have a major impact on their life.  That little bit of confidence can get you into that university you have dreamed of going to and your dream job after you graduate.  Confidence is that little thing that can make someone outgoing and allow them to try new things they never would’ve done without it.  I now hold myself with confidence, not to the level of the overconfident guy I mentioned in the first paragraph, but enough to erase the doubt when I need to. I can even tell you there have been many times where I had to do that. I believe in this state of mind I preach. I believe in confidence.