Possibly the worst feeling I have ever experienced is the hopelessness of watching my grandfather coming closer to his inevitable death.  I once feared this feeling, but over the years as I mature, I have learned that death is something that one day happens to everyone, some sooner than later.  Why can’t we learn to accept something that is so commonplace and inevitable?

When my grandfather was first diagnosed with cancer, almost three years ago now, I had never had anyone close to me with cancer, and the only death in the family I had ever known was our dog.  Although the cancer was responding to treatment at first, it really made me realize, for the first time, that the most inspiring person in my life wasn’t going to be around forever.  For almost two years, the oncologist was confident that he was slowing the growth of the cancer.  This was relieving to me, I was confident that I would be able to grow up with my grandfather by my side, cancer free.

I’m going to stop talking about my grandfather for a moment, because at this time in the story, another event that significantly influenced my take on death occurred.  On the Friday that began winter break of 2013, a neighborhood friend of mine suddenly passed away.  We weren’t best friends, but we had lived in the same neighborhood and gone to school together since kindergarten and the shock of his life disappearing as quickly as the warm weather on that tragic December evening, completely changed the way I saw death.  Death is something that can happen to anyone at any time, however it shouldn’t be feared.  Death is simply a step on the staircase of life.  It may be the last step on the staircase, but it shouldn’t be feared anymore than the other inevitable steps on this staircase.  This staircase exists for everyone however no two staircases are alike.  Some staircases, like Connor’s, are short and end abruptly before they reach the first floor.  Others, like my grandfather’s, are long with many floors, each floor representing a different stage of life.  Some staircases are steep and require extreme amounts of effort to reach the top; others are powered and carry their user to the top with no effort.  Some staircases go straight to the top, while others go up and down before the reach their destination. Although each staircase is different in the way it reaches the destination, the destination is always the same.  Whether you believe that the nature of your staircase is determined by yourself, fate, or a god, the ending is no different.  They all end in death.  So as you climb your staircase, don’t focus on the destination, make the most of the journey.  Don’t look up the staircase.  Don’t look down the staircase.  Look side to side and make the most of where you currently are.

My grandfather’s cancer has recently stopped responding to treatment and as his condition rapidly worsens, I’m not looking up his staircase, and even though I know his staircase is nearing its end, I’m going to make sure that we make the most of the last few steps.