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What the Keyboard Saw
To Agent 67T:
Pause. Backspaced.
Sir,
Highlight and delete.
No greeting this time.
At 2200 hours there was a security breach in Sector Delta. A detainee
A moment of hesitation.
began an altercation with a guard who was escorting him from an unsuccessful interrogation. The guard made an effort to stun the detainee, but was unsuccessful. Said guard then tried to alert other security to the struggle, but was incapacitated. As the other guards approached
Pause.
the detainee grabbed the weapon of the unconscious guard and began shooting. The reinforcements retreated
Delete that last word.
were forced to take cover. As they initiated lockdown, the detainee employed some kind of explosive device that caused severe structural damage to the corridor. This enabled detainee to exit the building. The destruction caused by the explosive caused confusion among outside security- detainee was able to shoot his way out of the compound.
New paragraph.
A search was commenced immediately and is ongoing. Repairs have been made to the damaged exterior wall. An investigation is underway as to where detainee was able to obtain materials for an explosive device. It would appear that the detainee has an accomplice- possibly
Some hesitation.
one of the guards.
Enter and tab.
Detainee is not yet in custody. Motivfs
Delete and retype.
Motives and location are both unknown. He is armed although moist
Backspace and correct.
Most likely has limited ammunition. Detainee Identification Number is 814364903- AJA
Another typo.
AKA
Pause.
And then a slam.
AGVxetgx80Qe234= ado890zxdrqwugvoW[9HNY!!1!!!1!!!!!!!!!! QA V WEOIVQA UIORG ax rgvewroi tnh oh no. oh no. hes going ot kill me hes going to kill me im such an idiot. he told me to be careful with vyper and I didn't listen and now hes going to kill me hes goin to kill me im dead.
Another pound.
Xcz
VAOVGNazgpbevna;d
Hit again.
Xoeihqwethukur74ik67'ls
Another blow.
Oaierbv[wqei0hnwe09.
Then a long pause. Three still minutes pass. Then the last three hundred forty-eight characters are deleted.
No movement for a moment- then three more words.
AKA Daniel Vyper.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 30 comments.
This thing gave me the freakin' CHILLS! That last sentence. . . Holy CRAP!
AMAZING!!!!
It's fine- thanks for being so honest. I do know I need to work on explaining a little more (it's hard to strike the balance between being too ambiguous and explaining your reader to death). Unfortunately, once it's submitted, there's no way to edit.
In this case, the writer knew that there was no point in trying to escape. His superior would hunt him down if he tried to run.
Somthing else. (God I sound like a butt) Usually when people enter conflict, say, the person who was typing, they drop what they're doing and try to either escape or defend themselves. Rarely do they sit and type about their imminant doom, unless they are of three possible exceptions, these being 1. Someone who is not in their right mind 2. Someone who is typing an e-mail and might still be able to alert the agent or 3. Someone who has absolutely no chance of escape and has no means to defend themselves.
There are other things I could say but I feel like a huge butt right now. Mind you these are suggestions, not corrections, and I very much find this article to be well written and very entertaining. Keep pushing yourself, dude.
I love the idea(:
More clarification on who the escapee is, yada.
5 Stars!(:
