Opulence | Teen Ink

Opulence MAG

May 1, 2008
By AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There&#039;s just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger<br /> <br /> Life it too short to let you matter.


I’ve been watching him for days now. When he leaves his house to go to school, I’m the one carefully tailing him, switching cars every day to make myself look less suspicious. If he ever sneaks out of his second-story room, I’ll be the one silently watching from a nearby tree. In class when he turns, feeling eyes on the back of his head, I’m the one who sent the hair on the back of his neck up on end. I am the girl whose shadow is always slightly overlapping his.

Being assigned to watch him almost makes me
feel like I’m not a stalker. Though I’m only 17, I’m a full-fledged member of the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. I’ve been with them since the ­tender age of five. It’s my home. Being an orphan, my office is also my permanent residence, the couch a fold-out bed. There are many others like me: no family. A lot of us are loners and haven’t chosen this route for ourselves.

I’m a tracker. I have been for years and some might say that I am the best at not being the best. In other words, I’m great at being invisible. Or at not being noticed. It’s not as hard as the others in the organization think. Being young and female is good, since most we track are young. Seeing me around younger people – my age, actually – doesn’t raise alarm bells. It helps that I’m cute. With a small frame, light hazel eyes, and short blond hair that curls under my chin, I don’t appear threatening. Of course, my ­organization-funded training doesn’t back that theory.

Soon I won’t be tracking down others with the power. They are finally going to give me an apprentice. After years of mastering everything I’ve been taught, they see my potential. That’s not to say I know everything. Even with my extended life I won’t be able to learn all the things I want to. If only this annoying boy would show the signs. It’s been almost a week. If he doesn’t show soon, they’ll reassign me. That much longer until I get my apprentice.

So here I am, sipping a latté and waiting for the Target to leave for school. I have been put in all of his classes in case something happens there, though I graduated high school years ago. Private tutors sped things up. With no family or personal ties, I had lots of time to devote to my studies. Martial arts black belts. Twelve languages, not including English. Everything a girl needs for a serious career in the agency. Such positions of power are not handed out easily. You must prove yourself many times over.

The Target and I have never spoken, but I know a lot about him. His file told me some, but after watching him for only a few days, I feel confident in saying that I know things no one else does. Not just the obvious, either. He resents his father and is protective of his mother, which makes me suspect the father is less than faithful. He smiles often but doesn’t make a lot of eye contact. He usually only speaks when spoken to. Although he has many friends, he isn’t close with any of them. The Target is observant, a watcher. This leads me to believe we would get along if he shows any promise.

I look down at my watch, then back at his house a few blocks away. The Target is late, which means I’ll be late too. Today my ride is a shiny black sports car, not out of place in this suburb full of midlife-crisis men. I turn on the engine impatiently. I’m fiddling with the radio when I hear something. I don’t feel any immediate danger, and I know to trust those feelings. But I ­also know that something is off.

Just as I am about to get out of the car and pretend to look in the trunk, the passenger door opens. I look up in surprise as the Target slides into the seat next to me. I grin, quite pleased by this turn of events. This is definitely a good sign. Perhaps intuition is strong in him. That would be good for my apprentice to have, complementary. I could handle having to deal with that.

“Hello, Lenna. Why have you been following me for a week now?” the Target asks lightly, conversationally, his first words ever said in my direction.

Ah, one of my many aliases. The organization set it up so that whenever I’m on a case, I get a new name, past, and present. It’s very powerful. The organization can basically do anything it needs; it has people everywhere imaginable. I’m just one of many, though there aren’t that many at the top, as I am. They don’t trust many to be trackers. Or to be apprentices. All of the full members have the power, though we control others to get things done.

My smile deepens as I say in my authoritative, professional voice, “My real name is Jade. I am a witch of the moon and a tracker for the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. You are also a witch. We would like to formally welcome you into the organization as my apprentice. Here is my card for verification.”

Jade Wordsworth
Tracker for O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E
Official Political Understanding Lending ­Everyone ­Navigation for Co-Existing Ethereals
Office hours: 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon-Sat
Phone: 555-5555
Proud league of witches of the sun and moon.
Worldwide.

“What do you mean ‘moon and sun’? Or ‘tracker’?” he asks, still looking at my card like it’s going to ­disappear.

“Types of magic. Moon is all about spells, the sun is more potion-based, though each type of witchcraft involves the other somehow. As a tracker, I find people like you and I bring them to O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. Every witch must register, train, and become a member by law. In fact, the organization is like a government targeted toward witches,” I explain with a smile, loving the fact that this time I get to teach the newbie.

“Magic? Seriously?” he asks, eyes wide, meeting mine. They are large, yellow, and catlike.

I click a button on my left, automatically locking the doors. I put the car into drive, pulling out onto the road. As an afterthought I add as a courtesy, “I think you had better come with me.” .



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 896 comments.


on Nov. 9 2009 at 6:06 pm
I liked "Opulence" because of its original vibe. Nice.

Her lovely green eyes shifted into hard emeralds.

“What do you know about me, Dare? And what’s so wrong with having dreams? And why are you talking to me like that? I was simply commenting on the sunset.” She tossed her red curls, clearly miffed.

I lifted my chin, and blew smoke in her face. It was easier on me when she was angry. I don’t know why she bothered with me. Why she was brave enough to confront me. Why she didn’t follow the laws of the superficial high school we both attended. Why she didn’t stay away from me, like everyone else.

“You’ll die from that smoking, Darian.” She glared at me. We’d had this argument a lot. I lifted my eyebrows, and turned away from her, signaling that the conversation was over.

She didn’t obey, and I sighed.

“You know, Dare, you could let yourself feel. You could understand it.” Her voice was soft, a whisper in the darkening air. She was air. My air.

I reviled the potency of the emotions I could feel pulsing through me. I ran a hand through my black hair nervously, my body skidding with strange, unfamiliar energy. I didn’t want to answer her. Why didn’t she leave?

I made a fatal mistake when I looked at her. Every nerve inside of me screamed, as though my body and internal organs were recharging hurriedly in the rare moment of my awakening.

I think I felt my heart beat hesitantly.

My voice seemed like that of a stranger. It had a rich, deep tone to it. It had color.

“Understand what?”

Something in my expression changed the way she was looking at me. It may have mirrored the arrangement of my own features. She became vulnerable in that instant.

“Kiss me.” She whispered brokenly.

Surprise jolted keenly through me. God, I wished I was numb again. Everything felt electric-too intense and too vivid. Emotions scattered across my being, a mutinous invasion of the raging war against myself. I was defenseless and an easy prey to her request. I breathed jaggedly, and there was a husky vibe to it. Want. I recognized it more clearly as it bloomed vibrantly through me.

And she was waiting. For me.

I destroyed the walls I had so warily built as I leaned towards her. She lifted a creamy hand and laid it tenderly against my cheek, the expectation making her bold. I moaned, and closed my eyes. My own hands loosened, and reached for her face greedily

Something hot-burning-ignited against my skin. I wrenched myself away, dazed by the unpleasant sensation. Had a spark traveled through our bodies? That’s when I noticed the cigarette kindling like a faint ember beside my marred hand. It had burnt me. The throbbing pain brought a wave of consciousness through me. Reality. And I stared at her face, inches from mine, and something clicked inside of me. Gears that began humming smoothly, like a tuned clock. I pulled back, and tossed her hand away like it stung. I grimaced as the vitals within me slowly resumed their state of nothingness, and shook my head to clear it of its nonsensical ideas.

She watched the change take possession of me, and tears began to collect in her eyes.

I found that I could care less.

I grinned at her, and mocked, “I taste of cigarettes, Clara.”

She got up shockingly to her feet, and backed away as if understanding for the first time what I was. Tears stained her nondescript face.

I smiled, that careful replication of a smile, and said acidly, “Did I humor your silly fantasies well?”

Her face crumpled entirely, and she pivoted away and ran sobbing from my scathing ridicule.

The sun died, and all was dark.

on Nov. 9 2009 at 3:36 pm
SonOfApollo GOLD, Katy, Texas
13 articles 0 photos 40 comments
its good

you should cantinue it

Sitav GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2009 at 9:16 am
Sitav GOLD, Cedar Grove, New Jersey
17 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I studied every thing but never topped.... But today the toppers of the best universities are my employees&quot; --Bill Gates

i agree with sallysunshine...it was original but somewhat immature and annoying...i'd like to see it continued..

on Nov. 7 2009 at 6:35 pm
writtinginlove0511, Wheat Ridge, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I love it, a little raw but thats how mine are too, it takes forever to write something and the n you have to re-write it

TeaganOlivia said...
on Nov. 4 2009 at 11:58 am
TeaganOlivia, Someplace, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
Today is Yesterday&#039;s Tomorrow.<br /> Certainty of death, small chance of success... What are we waiting for? :D &hearts;<br /> Pippin: &quot;Anyways you need people of intelligence on this sort of...mission. Quest. Thing.&quot;<br /> Merry: &quot;Well that rules you out Pip,&quot; :D &hearts;<br /> There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.&quot; <br /> ---Douglas Everett

I think it was pretty good. But why did she tell him she was a witch?

Young Writer said...
on Nov. 3 2009 at 5:27 pm
Thank you for your opinion! What do you find confusing, and how do think I could make it more exciting? What do you like most about the description? Do you have any tips on how to write a novel? I find that I truly value the readers' opinion; after all, you're my audience. Read the excerpt above by "Young Writer" as well. Thanks!

on Nov. 3 2009 at 4:34 pm
i found the dialogue was strained and not believable and natural. I dint like the part where she told him he was a witch, the story went downhill from there. it seemed unbelievable and annoying, because if someone told yoou you were a wich, you wouldnt just say, oh, okay, you wouldnt believe them or u would be shcoked

on Nov. 3 2009 at 4:31 pm
mm, i found it boring. And confusing. But i like the description and besides, not everyones first draft is gonna be perfect.

on Nov. 3 2009 at 2:54 pm
Luneblanc SILVER, Phoenix, Arizona
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;What is to give light must endure the burning.&#039; - Viktor Frankl

Yeah, I caught the same drift. The mystery of 'being assigned to watch him' was interesting at first, and it made me want to go on...but when it turned into witches, it took on a bit of a hackneyed idea. Less sinister somehow.

on Nov. 3 2009 at 2:48 pm
Luneblanc SILVER, Phoenix, Arizona
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;What is to give light must endure the burning.&#039; - Viktor Frankl

Interesting and attention-grabbing, but the dialogue was a bit too straightforward for my taste. But that's to be expected; there's no other way with a short story :P Very well done.

on Nov. 3 2009 at 10:42 am
tinkerbell BRONZE, Seneca, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love to be me

this was amazing. It is the best thing that I have ever read.

Young Writer said...
on Nov. 2 2009 at 6:39 pm
NOTE TO READERS: I understand you like "Opulence" which is based on fantasy. I am writing a novel, and I'd like a significant opinon of this piece. Obviously, the writer of "Opulence" is talented and appeals to you; I'm curious if I do likewise.

"Blazing fire illuminated the midnight black sky, and a thunderous explosion shattered the peak of a skyscraper into shards of golden glass. Helicopters whirred loudly, and searchlights scanned vainly for the cause. I gasped, my heart beating like frantic wings.

The dusty blue lights of the helicopter swayed with the falling glass, and I glimpsed a startling reflection. Shadows of light. I shook my head of its seemingly nonsensical ideas. Yet, it had seemed as though people were postured on the roof of the building. Two figures that moved so blindingly fast that it was like watching shadows of light moving. Light? Why had their skin seemed so incandesent? I sighed, considering how I had seemed to be losing my mind. I must be seeing things.

"What...what was that?" Aline's voice quivered. Apparently, this sort of crime was unusual, even for 'Cisco. Jack's lips were parted in surprise, and he was shockingly quiet.

"Oh my God!" I screamed wildly when I sighted a man pivoting off the broken building towards the ground.

I gasped.

I would have missed it if I had blinked. In fact, I should have missed it. Everything happened so horrifically fast. The man simply stopped falling.

"Where is he?" I realized my voice took on a hysterical octave of sheer terror.

"What are you talking about, Lila," Jack's voice shook,"he's dead. He landed..." He held Aline in his arms as she sobbed softly. He must have been trying to console her, but his hands shook as he stroked her hair.

What was I talking about? What was he talking about? I had considered the option that I was gradually losing my mind, but I felt strong and sure of what I had seen. The man, if he was a mere man, had flipped expertly in the air, and landed lithely on a flagpole. I couldn't be sure because of the distance, but I thought I saw a wicked grin spread over his features before he leapt blindingly into supposedly nothing. He was so fast. Jack must have missed it, and Aline reacted as though she was sure the man had fallen to his death. I shook, my fear eclipsed by the fear of the chaotic scene around me. We were not the only ones who had noticed. People were frozen with looks of fright, and some people were yelling into cell phones, gesturing wildly with their hands.

Traffic halted from its crawl as police cruisers arrived on the scene.

I sighed, and my mind sucumbed to my roiling thoughts.

What do you think? I regard your opinion as important and swaying. Get back to me ASAP. The readers; feel free to include your feedback.

AquaGem SILVER said...
on Oct. 30 2009 at 6:55 pm
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There&#039;s just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger<br /> <br /> Life it too short to let you matter.

Thank you for your comment :) I haven't read those books but I'll look them up! I do plan on making this a book. I'm about halfway done with it at 100 pages. Thanks for your comments and interest everyone!

MiRawr BRONZE said...
on Oct. 30 2009 at 4:36 pm
MiRawr BRONZE, Bloomington, Indiana
1 article 1 photo 7 comments
I agree with Kit-Kat. I kind of became less interested when it switched to the whole "witch/sun/moon" thing. Make it more creative and original.

angel100 said...
on Oct. 30 2009 at 12:59 pm
holy cow!!!!! you have got talent im not kiding. im in 6th grade an its amazing u should make a book. I was so interested in this from the frist sentence.

on Oct. 30 2009 at 11:07 am
Very intriguing! You held my interest the entire time. You surprised me too because I had not expected them to be witches. I hope to be able to read more of this soon. Very original and truly unique. Keep writing!

Emmalee SILVER said...
on Oct. 30 2009 at 10:49 am
Emmalee SILVER, Rayville, Louisiana
9 articles 14 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is what happens when you&#039;re busy making other plans. - John Lennon

Talent. :)

on Oct. 30 2009 at 6:01 am
yessssss! i read ur story a while again, (before it was published) and i commented on it and then i lost ur storeee 4 a while cause the 'advanced search' thing on teen ink wasn't working but know i found ur storee again yayyyyyyy mmeeeeeee!!!

RLJoy DIAMOND said...
on Oct. 18 2009 at 8:03 pm
RLJoy DIAMOND, Glen Rock, New Jersey
56 articles 0 photos 86 comments
this is amazing! Ur such a talented writer and congrats on being published! I loved it!!

on Oct. 8 2009 at 9:15 pm
costarican93 GOLD, Washington, Louisiana
14 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The city looks so pretty do you want to burn it with me?&quot;- Hollywood Undead

It sounds like a different set of books that i read called Night World they are pretty amazing. but i loved your story. do you plan on making it a book?