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A Final Breath
The air left the room and I began to panic. The Gasps became shorter and faster. I didn’t cry this time there was nothing to cry about because I knew this time was the last time I would feel this way.
I knew the pain that I felt now, as my lungs were wheezing in pain, would soon fade. It was worth the searing I felt inside to know that it would all be over soon enough. I closed my eyes waiting to go at any time.
I knew there was nothing they could have done; they had ran out of time. I could still see the clocks the blurred line burned through my corneas. The red fragments of the lines were engraved in my eyelids every time I shut my eyes.
I was calm, there was no struggle. What would be the point of a struggle? There was no way I could break free. My steady breath created a foggy film on the plastic. In these moments I didn’t see my life flash before my eyes, instead I thought of my future –or rather my lack of.
I wondered what they would do with me, I wondered about their great plan to get away with murder. I wondered more about whether anyone would find me. My parents needed to know what happened. Would they be mad if they knew I didn’t fight back, that I didn’t even try?
I had tried to kill myself once before, or maybe I didn’t try at all, maybe I just wanted to know what it would feel like to fade into oblivion. Maybe nothing was just what I needed. I wasn’t suicidal I just wasn’t scared of dying.
Just like how now I wasn’t afraid of what was happening, I just didn’t know it would hurt so much. I closed my eyes and took my final breath, finally that was it, I had faded.
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