Guilt

“Dude, let me drive, you’re completely wasted.” Ryan tries to grab the keys from me, but I shove them down my pants. He starts to laugh, and tries to wrestle me down. All the excitement and movement makes me get on all fours and start to puke my guts out. I wipe my mouth, stand up slowly, take the keys out of my pants, and start to struggle to the car. Ryan grabs me and starts to pat my back. “Okay. Seriously man, let me drive,” he starts to reach for the keys again, but I hit his hand away. “I got this man. Alright? Just give me some gum, give me five minutes, and we’ll be on the road.” He gives me some gum and then we both sit down on the curb to talk about how perfect this night had gone, and how nothing could ruin it. Five minutes pass and we both climb into the honda accord. Ryan fake punches me in the arm and asks, “You sure you’re good?” “Yeah, of course!” I nudge him back and start the car. Alcohol runs through my veins, I feel on top of the world, and the humming of the engine reminds of that. I start to laugh, and exclaim, “This is gonna be one hell of a ride!” Ryan and I high five, and I stomp down onto the gas pedal. I turn up the radio, and my favorite song Life is a Highway is on. “I bet it’s more fun without this,” I unbuckle my seatbelt, lift my butt off the chair, and let out a roaring “woohoo”. Ryan pushes me back down onto the seat, “Stop playing around. This is serious.” I ignore what he says, and grab another beer from the back seat. The alcohol starts to consume the car, so I let down the windows. I stick my head out, and start to sing. My singing is answered by flickering of head lights, honking of horns, and yellings of other drivers. “See someone appreciates my singing Ryan,” I force my head back in, and look up towards the stop light, it’s red. A deafening honk flys by us, and Ryan starts to yell, “Pull over man! Pull over! This isn’t funny man! You almost killed us!” “Alright, chill out. I’m good,” I say convincingly. The alcohol is slowly taking over me and I’m loving every second of it. This is the buzz “I have been craving for a long time,” I think to myself. I know it’s not smart to drink and drive, but I’m still determined to get home, so I can prove to my family, I’m responsible. I look up at the sky and pray to God to help get me there. I come back to reality to hear Ryan screaming, and tree right in front of us. I swerve to the left trying to avoid it completely without stopping, but the right part part of the car hugs and embraces the tree, putting my car to a hault. I fly through the windshield, and and land several yards away from the car. I hear Ryan moaning, quietly asking me for help. “Johnny. Help. I’m stuck…” I try to get up, so I can go help my best and my only true friend.  My body doesn’t let me, and I just lay there, watching my friend slowly die. My vision gradually gets darker and I pass out.
My eyes flicker open, and I see towering trees standing silently over me. Realizing I’m on a stretcher, I try to sit up.  Pain shoots through my head, and sends me crashing back down. “Stay down,” the voice is calm and a whisper, “You’re going to be okay.” The sound of crying and the smell of burning metal alarms my senses. Slowly, I manage to turn my head to the right to see a small honda engulfed in flames, crushed against a tree. Firemen are trying to put out the fire, but it’s not very effective. The car has Ryan inside it, and he’s motionless. “What a painful way to go,” I think to myself. Baked alive. A man and a woman are being held back by police officers, and they’re weeping, embracing each other, saying it wasn’t fair. After watching the couple for a few moments, I notice who they are. Ryan’s parents. I try to yell out to them, to tell them that it isn’t Ryan’s fault this happened… that it’s my fault, but no words come out. The need to apologize cannot be tamed, guilt fills my heart, and I start to cry. I propel myself up, the pain that rushes through my head is unbearable, and I crumple to the ground, passing out.