“I’m going to tell them tonight, I promise.” I said smiling into the love of my life’s eyes.
“Okay, if you say so. I trust you Rebecca. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep this a secret. I’ve loved you ever since I moved in months ago, and I’m ready to make this relationship public . Do you know how irritating it is for me to have to say that it’s just a ‘Girls Night Out’ every time I take you on a date?” Laura’s smile died as she lowered her hands from my shoulders. I inhaled taking in the pain that was encrypted in her voice.
“You’re right, you’re right. I understand what you’re saying, I feel the same way. It’s just that my Mom is so against it, and it would totally take her by surprise. I mean, I didn’t even expect this to happen. I’m still trying to cope with it myself, so I wouldn’t be able to answer any questions if she should ask them.” My voice was shaky, but I was pleased I was able to get out my explanation clearly because I have been so desperately trying to get it out.
“I know you’re new to this, it must be weird. But Rebecca, it’s time. Now, can we just go to Target, we need to buy some new poster board for this science project.” I check my watch as I let Laura’s words sink in.
“Laura, its already 11:30pm. It looks like we need to run to Walmart.” As soon as I muttered the words Walmart, I knew the response she was about to give me.
“Walmart?! What am I? Poor?” Laura's voice went up about 3 octaves as I could tell she was deeply offended by my innocent agenda.

“I know it’s sketchy, and dirtier than Miley Cyrus trying to twerk, but its the only place open at this hour, and to be honest, whenever I’m having a shity night, it’s where I go to get my anger and nerves out.” I confessed. It’s quite an embarrassing secret, but it really does make me feel 100x better on stressful nights. Plus its the only place that’s open.
* * *
I paced in my room, back and forth, back and forth. Only negative thoughts raced through my mind as I think of what my mother would do to me when I tell her. I have to tell her, I just have to. No more secrets. I mean it’s not like she liked me anyway. We always had our differences, day in and day out. Ever since Dad left she’s been a mess, so this would just crush her. But does she deserve to be crushed?  My thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock at my door.
“Hey loser, do you want to join me for Taco Bell? Mom said she’s too tired to cook” My brother’s voice was always so calming, despite the constant insults. I knew he loved me and he truly was my rock.
“Yeah, I’ll be right out! Let me get dressed.” I grabbed my coat and put on a pair of my favorite jeans.
“I'll tell Jason! Why didn’t I think of this sooner? He wouldn’t like it, but he wouldn’t have the ability to disown me unlike that wretched woman of a mother. He hates her more than I  do anyway, so it won’t be as if he would tell her himself!I opened my lipgloss and spread it on my lips which are now in the form of a smile.
* * *
I stared down at my soft taco and processed meat. I never noticed how little sour cream they actually put on this thing.

“Aren’t you going to eat anything?” Jason said in between loud chomps of his Protein Chicken Bowl.  I took a deep breath in, inhaling the aroma of clorox and cheap taco sauce. There is something that I need to tell you. It’s going to be hard, but you’re the only person I can trust enough for something this big.” Jason put down his fork and worry grew in his eyes.
“Go on.” Jason muttered.
“I think I like girls.” I whispered in the quickest tone imaginable. I held my breath while taking in the reaction set forth by Jason. He pushed back his bowl and sat back in his chair letting out a long exhale. He sat for what seemed like five minutes before he lifted his hands and ran it through his hair.
“So. How long have you known?” He asked in a eerily calm tone.
“ Not long. A girl and I were paired up for a school project and I started feeling things for her that I thought I would only feel towards boys. I don’t really know what to do. What do I do?” I asked.
“Well firstly I don’t know how you’ll tell Mom. And secondly, do I know this girl?” I gulped at this question, although I desperately wanted to blurt out the fact that it was our neighbor.
“No. She’s new.” I lied through my teeth. “And as far as how I’ll tell Mom, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

* * *
So there I was, standing over a mistake with a candlestick in my hand.
“Jesus! What did you do?!” My brother exclaimed running into the room. His eyes filled with an ocean of worry. They glared down, and then raised up to meet mine. Frozen, I stayed in a parade rest, grasping the candlestick as though I was holding on for dear life.
“What did I do? What DID I do?” Thoughts raced through my mind as I stared down at my mortal enemy.
“Help. Help me.” I mutter under my breath. “This can’t be happening, what do I do?” Stepping back, I dropped the lamp ignoring the breaking of glass. I raised my cold hands to my eyes, covering my vision as if to cover the horrid crime I just committed. Inhale, exhale, inhale, hold. I can’t remember a time when my breathing was so shaky, so unstable.
“I’ll be right back. I can’t let you do this alone.” I heard from across my most recent mistake. I stood still, taking in the echo of light footsteps descending. The slamming of doors rang through the halls and hit my ears. It was a  haunting tone I will never forget.
“Move your hands, I can’t do this alone, especially if you’re freaking out.” His disappointed voice was stern. I dropped my hands.
“Take this out to the truck, and be quiet. That weird girl from across the street has been checking you out ever since your little announcement, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she watches the house.”
Dazed and confused I just stared at my brother, trying to process what he was telling me.
“What are you waiting for wimp, just take it!” His voice was raised and undoubtedly serious.
I reached out my hand and wrapped my fingers around the wooden handle. Getting splinters was the last concern on my mind.
“Jason, I don’t think this is a time for gardening.” I muttered.
Jason’s face grew from calm to disgusted,
“Wow, you really are stupid, aren't you? Are all lesbians like this?” Jason chuckled.
Suddenly I realized the magnitude of where he wanted to take this situation.
“I can’t. You can’t... ”
I could hear my voice trail off as if I had run out of thoughts, but my mind was going 100 miles an hour.
“Walk out to the truck calmly, sit in the front seat, and close your eyes. We’re just going to Walmart. Okay? Just tell yourself we are going to Walmart.” Jason’s gaze tightened as if he was looking past my tear filled eyes.
“Okay, got it.” I whispered, choking back soft cries.  I tightened my grip around the shovel. Taking notice of my chipped red manicure.
“See you in the car.” I whispered walking past him through the front door.
I sat in the front seat and placed my hands over my eyes once again.
* * *
We drove for what seemed like hours. It’s times when I’m in distress that I notice how many stars there are in the sky. Being away from the big city really makes them stand out.
“Hold on.” Jason said as he grabbed the wheel and swerved off the road.
“Just where are we going exactly?”  I inquired. Jason didn’t reply. I looked up through the sky roof in hopes of seeing the stars one last time, but instead my vision was blocked by pines. Suddenly, the car stops.
“Get out of the car, and bring the shovel.” Jason muttered. Following his orders, I exited the car, and inhaled the woody aroma as it stabbed me in my stomach.
“Jason, it’s not too late. We can turn around now and just confess.” Even I could hear the hesitancy in my voice.
“You and I both know we can’t do that. The cops won’t even look at us as suspects, so don’t even worry. I mean what child would kill their own mother?” He said as if trying to reassure me.
“You’re right.” I inhale harshly, fully ready to embrace what will forever taint my future, “Let’s bury this homophobic b****.”