-2103-
“Life is about choices. Some we regret some we are proud of. I have made the choices that are best for me.” – Graham Brown
The beads of sweat dripping from my face made it hard to see. I tried to wipe it away but I couldn’t because of my helmet. I looked around at the flashing lights and symbols that covered the c***pit from left to right, all except the thin window that pointed up into the sky. I was nervous, and shaking. I could barely grab the control stick that was in front of me.
A voice crackled over the radio to my left
“Launch pad disconnecting”
I knew my time before I was floating above the earth in a tin can trying to save humanity was short. I was more nervous now than I had ever been in my whole life. I closed my eyes.
“Launch pad disconnected Good luck up there Cpt. Dawson; I’ll see you some other time”.
“Thanks” I whispered into the mic
“Launching Shuttle 3 in 5…4…3…2…”
There was a short pause; I opened my eyes to see what happened. I felt the engine start up and I pushed the joy stick away from me.
“Launch”
The force of the takeoff hit me hard. I was immediately thrown back into my seat, clutching the joy stick will all my strength. If I let go of it now I might not be able to reach forward and grab it until I reached the outer atmosphere layer. I closed my eyes and prayed for a safe trip. I could feel the shaking getting worse and worse, my whole body was sweating and shaking.
I blacked out.
I woke up in space, somehow they managed to steer the ship through auto pilot or something. I didn’t know much about the whole astronaut thing. After all this was my first trip into space, and it was most likely my last.
“Houston come in…Houston do you copy?”
There was no reply. I figured the radio signal was jammed by the distance between us; I would have to wait for the earth to rotate a little before I could try again. I unbuckled from my seat and floated inside the cabin. It was weird being in space; everything was floating and crashing into each other. I traveled around a bit looking through the cabins windows into space. It was beautiful; I had never seen anything like it in my life. I had never really seen beauty before. I grew up in the era known as “The Fallout”. This is when s*** hit the fan for all of humanity. It basically collapsed. There were 2.5 billion people on the earth when I was born, 30 years later only 10 million of us are left. But space was different, space gave me hope. It gave me hope that humans could walk the earth again in a better light, that I could give a better life for the people I loved that I left back on earth.
I started to cry a bit. Thinking of them and how I was stuck all the way up here in this tin can was hard. Thinking how all of the people left were relying on me to save them. I had to this right and I had to do this fast. The urge to cry came stronger, but I stopped myself.
I decided to go to my quarters located in the back of the ship. I opened up the air tight door that opened up to my room. It wasn’t anything special, a shower, bunkbed missing the bottom mattress, a toilet, sink and mirror. But I really couldn’t complain, after all this was a one way mission.
I sat on the side of the top bunk and opened up the metal locker next to bed, it had all the briefing papers with instructions on exactly what to do. I didn’t even know if I wanted to do this. But I read over the papers anyways just to refresh myself on what my mission was.
The letter read:
NASA Space Station Program: Houston TX
Date: 12/6/2103
Time: 21:00
Dear Captain Dawson of the Shuttle 3: Operation 2103. The mission must be successful in order to bring all of human life on Earth back to a sustainable level of natural resources.
At 17:00 hours on 11/17/2095 the Earth rotation had decreased to an abnormal rate of acceleration. Eight years later (12/4/2103) Earth rotation had come to a complete stop forcing the planet into a nuclear winter on the dark side, and an overwhelming heat wave on the other making life almost unsuitable on both sides.
The Shuttle 3 spaceship and its crew of 3 are to be put into outer space to force sunlight back onto the dark side of the Earth to heat the earth and make life sustainable on one side bringing life back to a startup. The shuttle 3 is equipped with a solar panel that will be strong enough to rebound the sun’s rays (5,500 c*).
If all goes as planned the Earth will become a habitable place for humans and will be able to sustain life. If Operation 2103 should fail the dark side could freeze over causing all human life to go extinct.
To those aboard the Shuttle 3, good luck and safe travels.
I forgot I wasn’t supposed to be up here in space by myself. My other crew members never even made it off of the earth, they died during a training exercise gone wrong trying to prep us for this mission. Being up here by myself was tough, I was used to having the other two here to give me company. But as far as I was concerned, I was the only human in space, and just might be the last.
I sat there for a little while longer, thinking about a lot of stuff. My family, friends, work, parents, and so much more; I needed to get some rest; today took too much out of me. I figured I would try to radio back down to earth one more time before tomorrow.
“Come in Houston” I said with a hopeful voice. But there was no reply. I tried again.
“Come in Houston this is Cpt. Dawson of the Shuttle 3 do you copy”.
Still no reply, I turned off the radio and put my head down in disappointment. I headed back to my Bunk and took off my helmet. I closed my eyes and fell asleep on the thin foam mattress.
I woke up the next morning practically lying on the side of my bunk, almost falling off of it. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. My throat was a little irritated from the lack of natural water in the air. I stood up and walked over to the door, the daily checklist was pinned up on the door.
-Cabin Pressure
-Fuel Usage
-Power Usage
-Solar Panel(s)
I decided not to read through the rest of the list considering I had done most of these. And I was almost certain nothing had to be done to the Exterior. I exited my room and headed down the hall to the left, up to the c***pit. I sat down in the middle chair, looked out the front window, and stared into space. I could just catch a glimpse of the sun coming around the earth which meant that I would have a chance to be within range of Houston to radio them in.
I reached forward and grabbed the trucker looking radio that sat on the armrest of my seat.
“Houston do you copy?”
Nothing happened, just silence. But I heard a slight crackle from the other side of the radio.
“Come in Dawson, this is Houston. How you doing up there?”
I couldn’t believe it; I had actually made radio contact. I let out a bit of a laugh.
“I’m doing fine I replied, just a little lonely”
“How’s the spaceship treating you?”
“Good, you wouldn’t believe how beautiful everything is from up here, even the Earth looks amazing.” I said
“If only it looked that amazing from down here”
There was a bit of an awkward pause. I could tell how bad things had gotten since I had been up here. I didn’t want to think about life on earth, it was a hell of a lot better from up here anyways.
“What exactly is the plan?” I said breaking the silence
“We don’t know yet, we’ve had to adjust a little bit. The earth’s rotation has slowed greatly since you left. We’re going to have to wait another day until your ship is back on the dark side of the planet”.
“Are we sure we can wait? I don’t know if I’ll have enough fuel to make another rotation”. I said
“We’ll just have to wait and see Dawson”
I sat in my chair with my hands clenched. I was trying not to break down, I wasn’t sure if could do this. I doubted myself and this wasn’t exactly the time for that.
“All we can do is pray at this point…Houston, out”
I sat starring out in that beautiful void that is space. I reached up to the console in the corner, and grabbed the family photo I brought with me. It was one of the only two things I was allowed to bring. I reached up and grabbed it.
I sat in my chair and held it in my hand, rubbing it in-between my fingers trying to remember what it was like to hold them in my arms. The tears started streaming down my face; one after another they fell onto the small photo in my hands. I put it back up on the radio set in the corner to keep it dry.
I thought to myself for a bit about what I was doing, was saving humanity even the right thing to do at this point? I had been born in the time of hope before the Earth stopped; I had seen the natural beauty that was all around; not this frozen wasteland that humanity hid inside like a mouse in a wall. I didn’t want my family to have to grow up in a world like that. I don’t want them to have frozen lands all they know in life. Even if this stupid solar panel thing did work it wouldn’t heat the earth, it would just allow us to grow food and suffer for the rest of our lives.
But maybe I was looking at this all wrong. I had no idea what to do, I was lost, alone, and scared s***less. I reached for the radio that sat on my arm chair. I held it up to my mouth thinking about what to say. Then almost as if they knew I was about to speak.
“Come in Dawson.”
“I’m here” I replied
“We’ve got to active the solar panels in 5 minutes”
Oh f*** I thought to myself. “I can’t do it” I said slurring my words.
“Dammit Dawson what are you talking about?” The others at the command center I could hear talking in the background.
“I just can’t do it dammit!” I shouted into my mic
There was a short silence over the mic
“Dawson you have to. All of us down here are counting on you to save us. Please, you have only two minutes until it’s going to be too late!”
“No, I won’t. I can’t. I have lived my whole life on that filthy retched planet. I have seen death, hunger, sadness. I have seen humans do unspeakable things to survive. I don’t want my kid growing up in a world like this.”
There were some crackles over the mic and a short silence ensued.
“Dawson, think of all the people who want to live, all the people who want to rebuild.  There’s ten million of us left, god dammit some of us wa-“
I interrupted, the tears streaming down my puffy cheeks.
“No. you sent me up here to save humanity, to let them suffer for centuries to follow. I didn’t want this. I never did, if I had known that this is what it was going to take I wouldn’t have come up here in the first place dammit. You chose me to play God, and that’s exactly what I’m doing”.
I turned off my headset and stood up. I took one last look out the thick front window that lined the c***pit. All the shiny stars and planets looked like glowing blobs of light with my tear glazed eyes. I grabbed the family photo that sat in the top corner and held it in my hand. I walked over to the door that lined the exterior of the shuttle. My hands trembling and sweating; I reached down and grabbed the handle, my whole body freezing. It felt like time froze. Was I doing the right thing? I was, and I knew it. I opened the door and looked down at the earth, the snow that covered the land made it impossible to tell the difference between land and sea. But to me it was beautiful all the same.
I took a step out onto nothing, thin air. And let go of the handle that lined the door. I floated into space all while watching the shuttle drift farther and farther. I turned off the oxygen pack that was hard to reach on the back of my suit. The breathing became harder, and harder. I turned on my headset for one last message.
“Good luck Houston, I’ll see you some other time”
“Dammit Dawson you’re acting like one selfish son of a b****, can’t you see that?”
I sat in silence before I heard them talk. But it wasn’t to me; he was telling the other people at the Launch site what had happened. The talking in the background was quite but I could still hear it.

“Operation 2103 has failed. Dawson didn’t make it. Humanity as we know it, is lost”
I teared up again.
“I’m sorry Houston”.
I closed my eyes and floated, and floated, and floated.