The smell of jungle hit my nostrils, stinging my nose and making my face cringe. It was sort of musty, reminding me of moldy cardboard boxes. A sun shower that occurred a few hours ago had added more humidity to the air, making it harder to breathe. Rays from the sun started beaming down on my back, overheating the jacket I was wearing, so I took it off. I didn’t mind being in Vietnam, fighting as a member of the United States army, nor was I frustrated about being chosen to join without a way out.  That’s mainly because they were paying for my college tuition once I was sent back home. However, I hated the fact that we needed to cut through the jungle in order to meet up with squad seven and Bravo. Everything from the bugs and pests, to poisonous animals, weather conditions, boobie traps, and of course the lack of sleep. I was just terrified that something might crawl into my clothes while I was sleeping and bite me. My legs began falling asleep from standing too long, so I decided I’d sit down for a few minutes. As soon as my butt touched the ground, the tingling feeling slowly started to vanish. I figured I had just entered paradise, but of course that feeling didn’t last more than a couple seconds because the platoon leader Ryan Samuels blew a whistle, letting us know it was time to move on out into the jungle. I tried getting up, but I fell right back on the ground and started laughing. Just then I heard a voice.
“What’s so funny, Trey?” Ty asked. “And why are you just laying on the ground?”
“Just the fact that I fell over when I tried standing,” I explained. “My legs are asleep, so I haven’t exactly gained all the feeling back yet.”
“Oh, well that’s actually funny, believe it or not.”
“So, are you tryna help a brother out by helping me up?”
“I guess so.”
Ty was a big guy, about six feet and five inches, weighing close to two hundred and seventy pounds all muscle. I knew he wouldn’t have any trouble pulling me back up. He stuck his hand out and I grabbed onto it. I could feel the amount of strength in his body when he yanked me upward using just one hand. The man wasn’t even trying and he lifted me up like a light backpack. I wasn’t necessarily a small guy either, weighing two hundred and fifteen pounds all of which was muscle, and standing about six foot three inches. It would’ve been a struggle for anyone else, but seeing that Ty was a freak of nature, it made sense. Without speaking any words I nodded my head with respect to show appreciation for his help. After regaining my footing, I proceeded into the jungle with the rest of my platoon.
Five days passed, each of which was miserable. Looking up in the sky through the small openings above the treeline, I noticed the light fading away. With the air getting cooler and visibility deplenishing for the night, I noticed someone from our platoon walking away from camp. “What was this kid doing?” I thought. He was young and from the way he walked I could tell it was Private Mickle. Mickle was about thirty yards away from me. His movement started to slow down, and he began looking around in all directions. “Ah, he’s just on lookout duty.” I muttered to myself.  Feeling a bit of relief, which was something I hadn’t felt in a long time, I slid my hand inside my left pocket. “He doesn’t need me watching him,” I thought. After a short moment of hesitation and stillness, I pulled out two crumpled photos. I felt the smile on my face shift into a grin. Tilting my head downward, I began examining the photos. One was of my family and the other one was of my girlfriend. A warm feeling appeared in my stomach, making my eyes cloudy and full of water. Feelings like these weren’t supposed to come out during the war. We were trained to suppress feelings, not let them out, but I couldn’t help it. Memories started pouring into my head, taking my mind off of the current situation. They reminded me about the loved ones I had left back home in the projects of Chicago. For once I could have a moment of happiness without any fear. A small chuckle slipped through, but quickly vanished when I heard a rustling noise from the bushes near Mickle’s location. “Psssst Mickle.” No response. I tried again, but a little louder. “Mickle!”.
“Who’s that?” he asked, frightened. The shakiness in his voice was faint, but still fairly noticeable.
“It’s Trey,” I said calmly. “ Now, get away from those bushes it’s not safe.” I noticed the hesitation in his movement. The rustling started getting louder, but this time they were coming from the other bushes surrounding Mickle. “Run!” I screamed. This time without any hesitation he began running aimlessly towards my direction. I quickly reached for my pistol inside the gun holster. While pulling the gun out from the holster, I noticed something come out from one of the bushes. The figure was holding something, and from a distance it looked more like an assault rifle. “Duck Mickle!”.
“Why?” he shouted.
“Dammit kid, just duck! Don’t ask questions, just duck!”
My stomach felt heavy, causing my body to shake. I had a judgement call to make, shoot or be shot at. If I was wrong General Samuels would have my head for sure because I’d be giving away our position due to the gun shots. With my finger on the trigger and Mickle now ducking, but still running, I decided to go for it. I fired two shots -- BANG, BANG -- into the bush I had seen something come out of. Screams came from the direction I shot in, revealing words in a language unlike the english and creole I was accustomed to hearing.
“Ah, con trai c?a m?t chó cái!” the man yelled.
It was repetitive, way too repetitive, so, I shot one more time. Within seconds of the shot the voice was silenced.I had just killed a man. Not just any man, but a Vietnamese soldier. The gun shots must have alerted the rest of the platoon because chatter started arousing thirty yards behind me.
“Trey!” yelled General Samuels. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I made a call sir, a very important call.”
“Who gave you authority to make that call?”
I didn’t want to say anything I’d regret, but at this point I didn’t really care. Nothing at this point mattered anymore.
“I did, sir! I think we are being watched.”
“Watched? That’s complete nonsense, Trey.”
Before continuing, I noticed Mickle was a lot closer now, about five feet away. “Maybe he’ll back me up.” I thought.
“Yes sir, it could be an…” My response quickly ended once I heard a ticking sound  behind Mickle. I looked past his shoulder and saw an object shoot up into the air. I knew it was an explosive. Not just any explosive, but a bouncing betty. --BOOM -- the device exploded, sending Mickle flying in my direction, and me falling backwards. The impact of the ground sent sharp stabbing pains up my back, making it feel like knifes were penetrating my skin. A ringing sound appeared in both ears, suppressing my hearing. I could feel dirt hitting my face and finding its way past my eyelids. It made my eyes cloudy, covering the little vision I had left. My eyes started getting heavy and began to close on their own. “Is this the end?” I thought. “Am I just another statistic added to the death column?”
“Trey, I don’t want you to leave,” Renee said. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”
“Babe,” I sighed, “there’s nothing I can do, I don’t have a say in this decision.”
“It’s too dangerous! I don’t want you to die.”
“Nothing will happen, Renee, I can promise you that.”
“Nothing? Anything can happen in war, Trey!”
“I promise you Renee, nothing will happen.”
“Don’t go making promises you can’t keep.”
“It will be kept. However, I’ll be gone for three years. Can you wait that long?”
“Yes I can wait, but if I get any word that you’re dead, I’m moving on.”
I stood there in silence. At this point, anything else I said would destroy her. That moment of silence was broken by her crying. Usually she doesn’t cry, but in this situation it was necessary. I was leaving, chosen to be another pawn for the U.S. army in the Vietnam War. Being in a one year relationship is a start to something special, and I was going to have to leave that behind until I came back. Thinking about it hurt, so I pulled her in and wrapped my arms around her body. We stood there for a couple minutes comforting each other until I looked past her, noticing my family members standing outside on the front steps of the porch. The sun was setting and the sky had started turning pink with hints of orange. My parents signaled me to come back inside.
“Renee, come inside with me,” I said. “You can spend the night.”
“Okay my love.”
“Trey,” my father said. “Bring that girl inside, it’s starting to get cold.”
“Yessir!”
Moments later we were all inside. Nothing felt better than spending my last day with the girl I loved and my family. This was something I wouldn’t forget, but would always remind me why I needed to return back home safely from Vietnam. Hours had passed, and it was getting late. The time spent with my family was great, but the long talks we had seemed to have tired them out. I whispered to Renee that we should go up in my room to sleep. I had her lead the way, knowing that this would be the last image in my head of what my girlfriend looks like for the next three years. After making our way up the stairs, into my room and on my bed, I closed my eyes. “Love you babe.” I whispered. No response was given. Just then, I felt her body on top of mine. It was warm, so I wrapped my arms around her. Then, I felt her lips touch with mine. They were soft and I started to kiss her. My plan was to go to sleep, but that kiss made me realize it was my last night with her. I let go of her for a moment to take off my shirt and pants. Then I started kissing her neck, and from there moved back to her lips. While kissing her, I reached over to my night stand and grabbed a condom. The kissing continued as I took off my boxers and put the condom on. Two hours passed, and the sex finally ended. This was a moment I could hang onto for the next three years. I couldn’t have imagined a better way to spend my last night with Renee before going away to Vietnam, especially because I wouldn’t be getting any type of action with a female for another three years. The action I’ll be getting is going to be the exact opposite of what I prefer.Shortly after we stopped, my eyes closed and I passed out.
“Wake up, Trey!” she said. “Baby get up, you need to get out of here.”
My eyes suddenly opened, seeing nothing but stars in the sky. “Where am I?”. The ground was cold and the smell of dirt was covering my nostrils. I shook my head, clearing the dirt off my face and breathed hard out of my nose to get rid of the dirt. There was a ringing sound in my ears, but all the noises around me sounded echoed. I started hearing gunshots and other people yelling “AMBUSH! IT’S AN AMBUSH!” over and over again. A moaning sound appeared a few feet away from me on my left side.
“Trey,” the voice sighed. “Help me, someone help me.”
That’s when it hit me… I was still in Vietnam. I must’ve blacked out for awhile. All I remembered was Mickle setting off a bouncing betty and me flying backwards, landing on the ground. “Oh s***,” I thought. “Mickle!” I tried getting up, but my upper body felt stiff. After moments of trial and error, I stood up and walked over to Mickle.
“Damn man, what the hell’s going on?” I said.
“The Vietnamese set up an ambush, Trey. From the sound of things they have our men pinned down.”
“S***, I knew something was up. So, what’s your condition?”
“Ehh… I don’t know if I’ll make it man.”
“Why not? How bad is it?”
“Couple pieces of metal stuck in my sides and one stuck in my upper back. I mean I was bleeding a lot, but it seems to have slowed down so I’m not sure if they hit an artery or not.”
“Well either way I’m not leaving you here, so grab my hand.”
Mickle reached out and gripped my hand tightly. With the strength I had left I, pulled him up and placed his left arm behind my neck and on the other side of my body. We started moving away from the open area of the gun fight towards a couple trees. Just then I felt a sharp pain in my lower back and in my right thigh. I’ve never felt pain like this before, but I knew what had happened. I got shot. The only thing keeping me on my feet once I figured out I got shot was the adrenaline. First I’m caught in an explosion with and bouncing betty, and then I get shot. Not once, but twice. “Could this day get any better?” I thought. The trees were only a few feet away, so I put Mickle over my shoulders and lunged to the closest one. After barely making it behind the tree, I took Mickle off my shoulders and made him stand. I needed to check my wounds , so I leaned against the tree. “Am I bleeding Mickle? How bad is it man?” He pulled out a flashlight and began examining my wounds.
“Holy s***!” he said.
“What? What the hell do you see!”
“Just a lot of blood dude.”
“Dude? Don’t dude me right now you smartass, just tell me how bad.”
“Well, do you want the complicated answer or the simplified answer?”
“The simplified version you numbskull!”
“Alright, well the bottom of your shirt is completely soaked in blood.”
“What about the pants?”
“The same, except a lot worse. It’s more like a gushing pool of blood. It sort of looks like you pissed yourself.” Mickle laughed.
“You have any extra rags in your pants or bag? Oh and what about some med supplies?”
“Lemme check these pockets real quick.”
“Anything?”
“Yeah, found some rags, ace bandage, two shots morphine, and a little sulfur to dump in your wounds to help ease the pain.”
“Excellent.”
Mickle told me to lay on my stomach, so he could treat my back first. Once on my stomach, he acted quickly pouring the sulfur powder into my wound. It burned at first making the pain even worse, but after a couple minutes I adjusted to the feeling. Next came the shot of morphine. He jabbed it right into my back next to the wound and injected the fluid into my body. It numbed my lower back and before I knew it, I couldn’t feel anything. The pain was suppressed in my back for now, but I knew it would only last for a few hours. He took some of the ace bandage and began wrapping it around the lower part of my back until it was tight enough. After that, Mickle moved to my thigh, but I told him I could handle this one myself. I grabbed the sulfur and poured it inside the wound. The sight of my skin bubbling and turning white from the sulfur was disgusting. I felt like throwing up, but this wasn’t the first injury I’ve seen. Compared to all the others I had seen so far in the war, this was nothing. Mickle handed me the morphine and I jabbed it right in my thigh next to the wound. It went numb,and the pain went away. My only problem now was stopping the bleeding. I reached into my pants and pulled out a rag. It looked dirty, but that’s only because it was stained in blood.
“You know what to do right?” said Mickle.
“Yeah, I know what to do.”
I wrapped the rag around my thigh where the wound was and tied it. Mickle gave me the “I told you so look”, but I wasn’t finished yet. I grabbed both ends of the rag and pulled tightly, until I couldn’t tighten it anymore. It felt good, so I got up and leaned back against the tree. Should I check to see where the platoon is? I decided to peak my head out just enough to see if the coast was clear, but I couldn’t see much. Bullets started whizzing by the tree going past and in front of my face, so brought my head back and faced Mickle. That’s when I noticed the flares about one hundred yards away. The brightness of the flares made it easier to see, lighting up everything within twenty feet. At first all I could see were people firing their weapons and wasn’t sure if it was the Vietnamese soldiers or our platoon. It took some observing, but after a couple minutes I was able to figure out who they were. It was our paltoon, trapped behind a couple of boulders on top of a hill. Around those boulders were thick bushes and trees. It seemed like a good cover to fight the enemy, but it was obvious they were out numbered. Vietnamese soldiers were advancing up the middle and surrounding the two sides to prevent any attempt of escape. Even though I wasn’t in the best shape and neither was Mickle, something needed to be done. We needed to get over there, but the only way to get on that hill besides the middle was to run in the direction where those Vietnamese soldiers are shooting at us from and then go left for one hundred yards .
“Mickle, I have some bad news.”
“What might that be exactly, Trey?”
“We’re going to that hill and helping the platoon.”
“Son of a b****, Trey.”
“For starters they have a medic, and you need to be patched up soon or else you won’t make it. Secondly, I’m not letting them die.”
“Fair point, but neither of us are in a condition to fight.”
“Doesn’t matter, you know it’s something soldiers are meant to do.”
“I know man.”
“It’s either that or we all die, so you choose.”
“I’d prefer living.”
“Looks like it’s settled then. Besides I’d like to kill some of those Vietnamese bastards.” I said with a laugh. “I need to get more kills than Ty, so I can win our little bet we made. He’s boughta owe me a pack of smokes and a knife if I get more kills than he does, and this ambush would definitely benefit me.”
“So are you carrying me or?”
“I’m sorry Mickle, but looks like you're going to have to walk.”
“Alright that’s fine.”
I decided to act fast and with my gun in hand, moved out from behind the trees and started firing. I didn’t know exactly where they were, but I just continued firing in their direction. Bullets continued to fly past me as I began advancing forward. I was scared, but I needed to keep going. I didn’t want to get shot and die right here and now, but it was a risk I was willing to take for my platoon. Just then I thought of something brilliant. I knew it was going to be risky,  but I decided to go through this plan anyways. Reaching into the back pocket of my pants, I pulled out a flare and lit it. I might as well be asking to die because that flare gave away my location, making me stand out like a horse in a pig pen. I could hear the enemy chatter, but I couldn’t understand a word they said. It didn’t matter. I let out a laugh and threw the flare in their exact location. It was exactly what I wanted. Since I couldn’t see them, I knew hearing them talk would give the location away. The flare shined brightly on their bodies, pretty much marking them as a target board. Only three men were attacking us, hiding behind three separate trees right next to each other in the shape of a triangle. “Mickle, throw a grenade near the flare right now!”. The sound of the clip popping out of the grenade was astonishing. In a matter of seconds that grenade would explode, killing all three of those men. The grenade landed directly in the middle of the three trees and blew up. Dirt went flying in all directions, and the three bodies dropped to the ground. I ran over to the flare, checking each of the bodies. All three of them were dead, faces torn up and missing limbs. For a moment I felt bad because nothing that bad should ever happen to a human, but that feeling quickly disappeared. This was war and people die. I couldn’t start feeling bad or showing sympathy for the enemy because those two things are what get you killed. That and carelessness. I took one more look at the bodies, before heading in the direction of the hill. “Only one hundred more yards to go.” I said letting out chuckle. The hill seemed so far away, but I finally reached the backside of the hill after a couple minutes. I looked back to see if Mickle was behind me. Despite his injuries, I was surprised to see him only a few feet away.
“Stop right there!” yelled General Samuels.
“D-don’t shoot! It’s me Trey, and Private Mickle is behind me.”
“I thought you guys died.”
“Nope, just knocked out for awhile. So, how long has the ambushed been happening?”
“About a few hours now.”
“Seriously? How many of those bastards are out there General?”
“Around two hundred and thirty. We wasted about one hundred so far, but they just seem too keep on coming.”
“I have a plan sir.”
“I’m all ears, Trey.”
“I’m going down their and killing them all, gonna try and make them retreat.”
“Son, are you crazy?”
“Just provide covering fire for me. I don’t want any of you guys getting shot. I’ve got shot twice already, so I probably won’t be alive much longer.”
“Alright Trey, but if you live your getting on the first chopper out of here to the hospital.”
“Sounds like a plan General.”
I was pretty much asking to die. This plan was a longshot for sure, but it didn’t hurt to try. Looking down the hill, I could see most of the enemy's soldiers taking cover behind rocks and trees. Next to my feet was a bag of grenades, so I reached in and grabbed a couple. I pulled the pin and tossed one down the hill. One by one I threw a couple more grenades down the hill in the middle, but in different spots. Those explosions killed two people each, causing the other soldiers near to scatter around. I was aware the enemy was trying to come up from both the right and left sides of the hill, so I decided to start on the left side and make my way down. Bullets were being fired from all directions. I wasn’t behind much cover, but luckily the soldiers on the left side didn’t see me coming. A Vietnamese soldier made his way up the left side, but he didn’t notice me. I looked down the sight of my rifle. My breathing started getting heavy and my hands began to shake. I was nervous.
The gun began to sway, making my rifle move away from the target. I needed to calm down, so I closed my eyes and counted to five, before reopening them. Feeling a lot more calm, I aimed my gun at him again. I could see his head from looking down the sight. My finger moved slowly towards the trigger. The metal felt cold, like a block of ice. I felt different after touching that trigger. It seemed like the gun was now apart of me. Anger started to fill my eyes, and I squeezed the trigger tightly. The gun kicked back from the recoil hitting me hard in the shoulder. Hearing the bullet fire out of that gun pumped adrenaline through my veins. I felt more alive. The gunshot alerted the soldier, but it was too late. He didn’t know which direction it was coming from. Within seconds the bullet made contact with his skull and he dropped straight to the ground. I ran over to his body and double checked to see if he was actually dead. The bullet went straight through his head. Blood was pouring out the other side creating a small pool, slowly engulfing the rest of his head. His body looked limp, completely motionless and empty. What a clean shot. The sound of footsteps coming up the hill brought snapped me out of my dazing, bringing me back to reality. I wasn’t even close to being free. Instead, my job had just begun.