Naby The Ninja Baby

I am Naby.  I am six months old and a ninja baby.  I am the superhero of Washington, D.C.  There have been many crimes here and my statistics say I have caught 95% of the people committing them and still need to catch two guys.  One of those guys is named Mark Santana.  He has stolen many valuable things such as diamond rings and famous paintings!  My job is to find him, catch him and recover the stolen items.   Only have one thing to work with, he loves to eat phones.  His nickname is the Phone Shark.  One day I was on twitter and one tweet said, “Off to my brother’s wedding, hope they serve phones for dessert LOL.”  So I called all of the local dentists to find information on teeth that could  bite through phones and one said a guy that came in a week ago asked for a whole mouth of metal teeth!  I got his name from the dentist and that name matched the one on twitter so I quickly went to the Apple store and bought a brand new iPhone 7.  Then I went to the wedding.  I scanned the crowd and spotted the guy with metal teeth.  I got into uniform and went in.  I said, “Just got my brand new iPhone 7, mmmmmmmmm it tastes real good!” then he came running at me to get the iphone 7 so I did a backflip over him and tackled.  After that, I put him in cuffs and before you know it one out of the two guys were in jail. 
The next criminals name was Goon Terabelsky.  The crime he committed was he held illegal slaves at his house and made them do anything he wanted them too.  The only things I knew about he was his name and that he lived in the D.C. area.  I searched for 13 days 22 hours and 33 seconds and still could not find him.  Finally, I got really lucky and one of the slaves hopped the fence and escaped!  The first thing he did was come to me and tell me who he was and what the owners exact location was.  So I went there, hopped a couple of fences, fought a ton of robots and was standing at the entrance of a very old abandoned bike shop.  I could not just walk in and get the people because he was holding the hostage so the first thing I did was get a human catapult.  Then I shot myself onto the roof.  After that, I broke the ceiling and swung in on a rope.  Finally, I drop kicked the owner and set everyone free.  They all scattered really fast leaving just me and Goon there.  I fought him and won easily.  Then I just put him in jail and my job was done.  My paycheck that month was 10 million dollars so I was set money wise for about a month because obviously, baby food and diapers are expensive.  Now to this day I still protect Washington D.C, it is a lot of fun and I get paid A LOT!  And then I woke up!

THE END!         

Ninja Baby Onesie. 2013. Cafepress, n.p.