I laid in my hospital bed staring at the white tiled ceiling. I could feel my oxygen levels lowering, but it didn’t affect how I felt: bored. I was so tired of staying in this hospital. Even with my bones aching, I felt well enough to leave.

I looked at the bland looking clock on the wall: 12:00. Tilting my head the slightest bit, I looked out the window. Darkness engulfed the outside world. However, there was light in my room; not from electricity, but from the bold blue moon.

I wish to inhale the clean air of the wilderness again. This room is stuffy and the interior is making my eyes hurt from all the white. I would die to see the greenery of the forest again.

My mind was tired of wandering, my eyes were dry and droopy. Closing my eyes, I drifted into a land of dreams.

§ § § § § § § § §

Feeling someone sitting on the end of my bed with the combination of talking, I awoke from my sleep. I opened my eyes, red irises being noticeable to the man in my room. He sounded as if he just got off a call with another. He turned to me as to acknowledge that I wasn’t asleep.

“Hey Melany, you’re finally awake?” Mordecai playfully said.

“Ughh!” I groaned and hid my head under the warm pillow. “Why are you here so early?”

“Early? Mel...its 1 P.M.” He stared me down with confusion in his brown eyes.

“Jesus, I didn’t think I slept in that late!” I shouted at no one in particular.

A moment of silence went by, I expected him to say something. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I thought you would have wanted to sleep in” Shrugging his shoulders.”Sorry..” He looked at his feet.

“Its fine, not like I’m going anywhere.” I laughed to myself hoping to lighten the mood up again. He didn’t say anything back. “You know I’m going to be fine right?”

“Mel...you have cancer. What if you don’t recover?” I sighed from his words and didn’t say anything for a moment letting the silence take over.

“Stop worrying so much, you know I can beat cancer. Plus, some people have it way worse than me right now.”

“But you could die!” He sounded aggravated. Not at me, but at the harsh reality that I have a slim chance of survival. Honestly, I didn’t mind death. It’s not that scary when you don’t have much to loose. The only thing I’m scared to loose in my best friend, Mordecai.

“So, did you want to talk to me about something important or did you just come to visit?” I said trying to get off the topic. He stood up from my bed and didn’t say anything. I could by his messy bleached hair and his bagged eyes that he was indeed tired.

“Eh, I guess to visit…” he said looking away from me. He was hiding something obviously. I played with my almost white colored hair not knowing anything else to say. Then at just the right time my doctor came in with his clipboard and straight tie. Shutting the door behind him, his face looked serious and his gelled hair looked slicked back.

“Could I speak to Ms. Falice for a moment please?” He spoke with his voice strong and loud.

Mordecai looked at me for a moment and walked out without another word. I fiddled with the sheet on my hospital bed while the sound of the door closing filled my ears. He sighed as scribbled something on his clipboard paper. I patiently waited for him to speak, by the looks of it I knew it wasn’t good. I prepared myself for the worst.

“Ms. Falice, I’m so sorry. I hate to deliver this news to you, but your going to leave us soon.” He kept talking, but I couldn’t hear him. I knew that this was going to be the outcome.

“How long do I have left to live?” I asked feeling like I was about to cry from the harsh reality.

“Approximately three hours.” My doctor said, looking me in the eyes. I knew this was hard for him, but it’s his job. They tried to save me and I am thankful for that.

“Ok, thank you.” I showed my gratitude for his kindness. Continuing to stare down at my white blanket, wrapping it around my finger. “Could you tell my friend the news, I don’t want to see him right now.”

“Yes ma’am.” I said with no hesitation in his voice. I furrowed my eyebrows at myself, I didn’t have the guts to face him.

§ § § § § § § § §

I felt the needle go into my arm, as if I was an animal being put down. It was painful, that’s all I could think about. However, I started to feel drowsy and reality began to melt away. My eyes wanted to shut, but I didn’t want to go. There was no other choice though.

§ § § § § § § § §

“Ugh...where am I?” I looked up from my deathbed. Wait, why am I conscious? Confused filled my brain as I looked around the hospital. I sat up from my bed and decided to try standing up. “Hey?!” I tried calling one of the doctors. Pacing in front of one I screamed at her “HEY! Can you see me?!” As I finished my sentence, I felt her presence walk right through me. Eyes wide, I was bewildered by the events.

Am I a ghost? No, that’s unreasonable, they don’t exist. Looked at my hands, I didn’t look transparent. Is this just an elaborate joke? I decided to further test my theories. Running at one of the doctors, I tried to punch him square in the face; but my fist went right through him. Then falling on the floor from trying to put all of my body weight on the man, but it didn’t hurt. It actually felt plush… My next test was to try and walk through the walls. Running towards the wall, it felt as if there was no wall at all.

“This is insane!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

“Hey can you keep it down?!” I heard a elderly man’s voice yell. Confused I turned around to see who was able to hear me. He looked wrinkly and tired laying in a white hospital bed like mine.

“Are you a ghost too..?” I used my voice even though it was hoarse from all of my yelling.

“What do you think genius?” I voiced back to me sounding more offended. I quickly apologized and jumped through another wall.

“I need to find a way out of this hospital. I need to find Mordecai and try to talk to him.” I jumped through so many walls I lost track of where I was. I felt my stomach drop when I realised I jumped out of the building on the third floor. However, I didn’t fall, but instead floated down. I felt relief enter my body and I viewed the cars on the highway go by. I knew where Mordecai’s house was from here lucky for me.

§ § § § § § § § §

I stood in front of his two-story house. If anyone saw me, they would assume I was here to break into his house. However, with my ghostly appearance I don’t think I will be seen anytime soon. My light hair waved in the wind as I walked closer to the front door of his house. I freely walked in, not needing to open or unlock it to go in. All the lights were off and I assume that everyone is asleep. I walked down the hallway and noticed something on his families calendar. “Mel’s Funeral. 12 P.M. West Ridge Road, Woods Church” I read to myself, well at least I know where to meet them now. I continued to roam around the house, remember the games we used to play. It’s almost like I can see our tiny persons running around in a game of tag.

God I missed those days. I missed being young and not being stuck in that hospital. Ever since I got bone marrow cancer as a child, Mordecai and I didn’t have anymore fun conversations; no more tag, no more jokes. It was all dark, why did it have to end like that?

I didn’t want to stay in his house any longer in fear of longing to be alive again. Now that I think about it, it might be to late. I already feel the loneliness build up in my entire body, I can feel my craving for human contact grow. However, I don’t think that will happen anytime soon. The best thing for my health would be to head to the church and wait till tomorrow. Flowing through the house’s walls with my ghostly figure, I don’t have second thoughts about going back in; even though I was saddened from my recent “visit”. Looking up at the sky there were loads of stars, but the main event was the blue glowing rock. The moon shined through me, but I felt its light. It was cold and I loved it. I continued to shift through trees, bushes, and fences. Though I never entered another house. I almost felt free out here, the air was clean and there was an abundance of open space. I saw many birds, squirrels, and strays. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad way to end, look at all these beautiful things that I never got to view up close. Yeah, this isn’t 

that bad… I can live like this. I finally made my way to the church. It was quiet as expected, but I’ve never been to a church overnight. Relaxed that I made it, I decided to lay down on the benches and wait for the day to come.

§ § § § § § § § §

“Ughh… Where am I?” I got up from the bench and looked around with confusion filling my brain. “Why am I in a church?”

“I dunno, ma’am.” I jumped as the voice spoke, it was like his voice was echoing around the church. I turned to see a little frail boy with brown scruffy hair.

“Who are you?” I quickly asked. I soon became concerned for the boy about why he is at church so early. How did he get in? Where are his parents? These thoughts raced through my head so fast I couldn’t get a single word out.

“My names Emmanuel, I died here a long time ago in this church.” Died?! My thoughts were racing, trying to recall yesterday’s events. Jesus. I’m dead.

“Uh, hi Emmanuel. I’m Melany, but my friends call me Mel.”

“I like Mel, that’s a cool name!” He beamed at me with crooked teeth. Smiling back I tried to continue the conversation.

“So, do you know what time it is?”

“Uh, I think it’s half past 11.” I seem to have thirty minutes to spare. Looking around, I see the pope walk around to “my death bed” as I heard more people come into the church with a stretcher. That must be me.

“Are you havin’ your funeral here?”

“Yeah.” I said, not glancing down and giving my full attention to the stretcher. I walked past my ghost companion to see the dead me. The two men lifted the sheets to expose my corpse in a purple and black ensemble. I looked so peaceful, almost white hair straight and brushed. My eyes were closed, like I’m sleeping peacefully. I signed, trying to touch my dress to straighten it more or trying to get back into my body. The realization hit me that I can’t talk to anyone I love ever again. I’m stuck.

My face felt wet, can ghost cry? I put my cold hand to my face to verify if I was right. Yes, I was crying; I can’t remember the last time I have done it, but it felt like an eternity. More tears ran down my cheeks and I felt despair. This is truly the end, I didn’t even get to say bye to anyone. Walking back to the church benches, my crying became more violent. Sitting down I sobbed into my hands as the church bells began to ring. Lifting my hands from my damp face, I stared at my slim fingers. They weren’t as full as they used to be. It’s like they were turning transparent, I felt like the tears made me melt away.

§ § § § § § § § §