I can still see their faces, the confusion in their eyes and on their faces as I drifted away. They didn’t know what it felt like, couldn’t have, or they would have wanted it too, the feeling of immense freedom.

-------

“Kaida, hurry along.” my mentor whisper-shouted into my ear, “We will both be punished if we don’t." I knew this, of course, I had lived here most of my life. I used to admire this beautiful prison that I call home. Used to think that one day Empress would want me, one day I would be more than a scorned, mocked retriever. But I now knew that this would never occur. Empress was incapable of love. As if to prove my point, we could hear her ferocious voice roaring.

“… HOW DARE YOU! DO YOU WANT YOUR EMPRESS TO BE LESS THAN PERFECT? DO YOU WANT TO SHAME YOUR HOME? I’LL SHOW YOU! TAKE HER AWAY! GIVE HER TO THE PRINCE!”

I slid in as Empress cackled at the poor maid girl as she screamed, “Please, your majesty, I promise it won’t happen again! I will do better! Please have mercy, your majesty! Please!” But it wasn’t a poor maid. It was Julia. My Julia. The Julia that had helped me learn the ways of the palace. The Julia that had healed my wounds when I was in pain. The Julia that had befriended me in this horrid place. My Julia. Empress had sent Julia to the prince. No one lived long when they were given to the prince. How could Empress do this to her? How could Empress do this to Julia?

My mind was made up after hearing Julia’s tortured screams. I was to escape. I was not going to endure Empress’ wrath or the scorn of the others anymore. I was going to escape. For Julia.

I studied the palace until I knew it like the back of my hand, every nook and cranny, every corner. The hidden research on where to go, how to get there. I would find a new life, it would be easy, that part. The hard part was getting out of Empress’ grasp.

When the time was ripe, I struck. Sneaking through the shadows and back hallways, I made my way to the file room. My clothes were sticking to me, the sweat moistening my entire body, the wind shooting the desert’s copper sand into my face. I frantically searched, starting at one end, going to the other, the files dancing in my hands as I glanced at them. 

“Vehicles. Modes of transport. Upcoming trips.” I whispered to myself. I could feel the subtle changes that assured me the Sun would soon illuminate the inky desert sky. I went even faster, the files flying across the shelves, every one a blur. Nothing. There was nothing at all. On the world, on an escape. Nothing.

The guards were coming this way, their footsteps breaking the stillness of the early desert morning. I held my breath as they got closer and closer. Then they stopped. Immediately outside the file room. The door moaned quietly as the guards filed in. 

“Crap!” I muttered, that was the door to my liberation. 

“Who goes there?” one of them asked, his voice low and scratchy. “Come out and Empress will lessen your punishment, stay and your reward is death!”

I was frozen, my breaths shallow. The guards’ guns were drawn, their eyes missing no movement, their ears blocking no sound. I knew it was impossible, to escape, yet I still had hope. Hope made me foolish, hope ruined my life.

My legs ran of their own accord, suddenly sprinting without my brain telling them to. They jumped and ran and swerved, aiming for the door. All I could hear was my heartbeat, strangely slow.

I didn’t hear the gunshots that I saw spray around me, I didn’t feel the pain that I knew should be behind my bloody torso, my blood dribbling down my shirt. I was going to Julia, I was going away from this corrupt place of heartache, I was going to be free.

The guards watched as the light drained out of my eyes, their faces and gestures showing their confusion. “What should we do with her?” It was the one with the scratchy voice. “Would Empress care?”  It didn’t bother me anymore that Empress didn’t like me. I was going to be okay, I felt light like I could float up and never come down, would never have to see this awful place of heartache and misery again.

I would find Julia, for she was probably already up in the clouds, waiting to welcome me into her new world, waiting to show me her new life. A better life. One without cruelty or scorning or mocking. One perfect little world up in the clouds.