One day, a small mouse was walking through the forest, swishing his sword back and forth at the underbrush. Swish swish swish.

When he chanced across two foxes.

“Hullo,” said one of the foxes to the mouse. “Seeing as it’s been a long day, and tramping through the forest makes one mighty hungry, would you like to come over for dinner?”

“Why certainly,” said the mouse, “How kind of you.”

The other fox nodded and said, “You look like a delicious morsel. I could just gobble you up.”

“What was that?” asked the mouse, his fur standing on end.

“Oh, nothing,” said the fox. “It’s just a figure of speech. It means we’re excited to meet you.”

So the mouse nodded and the three of them set off for the house.

Well, it wasn’t too long before they arrived, and were greeted inside by two more foxes.

One of them looked the mouse up and down and said, “Why hello there! You look delightful. We love having visitors. We always make the dinner extra special when they come.”

The mouse bowed and said, “Thank you ever so much for your hospitality, gentlemen.”

“Hmmmm,” said the fourth fox, twirling his whiskers. “I think you’ll taste best if we boil you first.”

“What was that?” asked the mouse, his tail stiffening.

“Oh, nothing,” said the fox. “It’s just a figure of speech. It means you’ll make lovely dinner conversation.”

So the mouse nodded, and they all set about getting the large iron pot filled with water and hung over the fire.

And just as the pot was beginning to boil, two more foxes walked in with armfuls of small paper boxes. They waved cheerily at the five of them and began opening the boxes on the table. 

Soon the house was filled with the wonderful aroma of all sorts of herbs and spices: Bay leaves, rosemary, cumin, mustard, pepper, chives, garlic, cayenne, onion, curry, ginger, oregano, parsley, paprika, nutmeg, peppermint, wasabi, basil, thyme, and vanilla.

“Of all these spices,” said the fifth fox to the mouse, “which one best suits you, would you say?”

After some thought and some sniffing, the mouse raised his paw. “I’ve got it! I think thyme is my favorite, and nutmeg for holidays.”

The sixth fox shrugged and said, “I personally think you would taste best with parsley and garlic.”

“What was that?” asked the mouse, his whiskers twitching.

“Oh, nothing,” said the fox. “It’s just a figure of speech. It means that all the animals eating tonight would be better off with some parsley and garlic.”

So the mouse nodded, and they decided to sprinkle parsley, garlic, and thyme into the boiling water. Plus a bit of nutmeg, just for fun.

And as the mouse was adding the last spice, all the foxes circled around him and reached out their paws…

“I will warn you,” the mouse said, slowly turning around. “I’m very well trained with the sword.”

“What was that?” asked a fox, eyeing the sword hanging at the mouse’s waist. The others gulped and stroked their fur.

“Oh, nothing,” said the mouse. “It’s just a figure of speech. It means we’ll have a lovely time tonight.”

So the foxes nodded and smiled at each other. Then all at once, they leaped forward at the mouse!

SWISH, SWISH, SWISH.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Well…

It’s only a figure of speech.