I get this funny feeling when I’m next to him. Like on the playground, under the yellow like my grandpa’s teeth slide, when we’re playing under the green monkey bars by the swings. I think that means I like him. Every time I talk to him, I get all nervous inside like when I have to go up on stage for the Spelling Bee. And he’s really smart. I wish I was as smart as him. He always gets check pluses on homeworks and his daddy doesn’t do it for him like Chris’s dad does. I only got two check pluses last week. After school yesterday, I did what Ariel on The Little Mermaid did to see if he liked me back with the flower petals. The last leaf said he loved me. We should get married. Sydney told me that the best place to get married is on the sidewalk. But you have to get married on the sidewalk outside your house otherwise we’ll get in trouble. I wonder if his parents will let him come over to get married with me. Mommy says the boys are supposed to do all the work, but I don’t know what that means. Last night, we had to draw a picture of what makes us happy as homework and I used the new changing color markers Grandpa bought me but I forgot to put my name on it and now we’re in the car on the way to school and I can’t write it now. I told Mommy to tell me when there’s bumps but she doesn’t do a very good job and now my L looks like a U. I hope Tommy sees my picture at school and thinks it’s good.

Ohmygosh, when we were standing in line to turn our pictures in, he saw it and said those are cool colors! Right now he’s sitting in the reading corner with Jimmy eating the apples like they always do during snack time. I always sit with Theresa by the red circle carpet and I can sometimes see them through the bookshelf. Two days ago, Tommy stood up for me. I was sitting in my chair, minding my own beeswax, doing my spelling quiz, and Alberto came up and stole my pencil bag! He started laughing at me, saying it was ugly, and that he needed some pencils like he was going to take all of mine. And my favorite pencil with the Lisa Frank golden puppies and the good eraser was in there! Then Tommy got up and told Ms. Monroe. It made me happy. I haven’t told Theresa about liking Tommy yet. And we tell each other everything. She’s my bestest best friend forever. We have a secret handshake and I’m going to have a girl, and she’s going to have a girl, and they’re going to be best friends just like us. She thinks boys are silly though and she would be mad at me for liking Tommy. But I just like him, it’s not like I want to. Maybe there is a witch somewhere who controls who likes who and she looks into her crystal ball and laughs in a mean way like Cruella Devil and picked me to like Tommy. Like the green one in the Wizard of Oz. Maybe that’s the “marriage counselor” Daddy always hates seeing. I think I’ll tell Tommy I like him so I can find out if he likes me too. I’ll tap him on the shoulder during recess today and tell him what Annie told me to say to a boy: “we need to talk”. She’s a junior in high school so she knows what to do. I wish I could know what I’ll look like when I’m that old. But what if he doesn’t like me? Then what do I do? I guess just wait until the witch picks me to like someone else…

I told him I liked him. He said he liked me too. And then I said ok. And then I looked down and started playing with the dirt with my shoes. And then everybody started playing Red Rover and we had to go play because everyone always plays. I wish I hadn’t told him what I was thinking because when he said he liked me too, the funny feeling went away. Maybe you’re not supposed to tell someone when you like them otherwise it goes away. The green witch takes it away as soon as you open your mouth to tell them. She knows what you’re going to say. Maybe Daddy never should have given Mommy that pretty ring so they wouldn’t fight anymore. But everybody gets married, and I guess you have to tell them you like them to get married. It must be different when you get old. Look, my art picture from last week is up on the cafeteria wall! They usually only put 3rd grade pictures up because those are good, but mine’s up! Right next to that cow one! I hope everyone sees it! I can’t wait to tell Mommy about it! We have to walk past the cafeteria from the playground to Ms. Gillette’s homeroom, so I saw it! Uh oh, I just remembered: Tommy sits behind me in Ms. Gillette’s class! And I don’t want to be next to him anymore. I’ll just pretend he’s not there. But I need to tell him I don’t like him anymore so he doesn’t think I still do because that’s not very nice. I’ll tap him on the shoulder today after school like I did at recess and tell him we can’t get married because I don’t like him. I hope he doesn’t still like me too.

The witch is really very mean. I tapped him on the shoulder after school under the tree before the bus came like I planned, and I told him I didn’t like him. And he said ok, and she did it again! She made me like him as soon as he turned around to leave. I got that same feeling back that I had this morning where I wanted him to like me and think I’m pretty and good at things and smart. I wanted him to come back. Geez louise, I don’t get why it has to be all confusing like this. I told him I liked him, he said me too, then I didn’t like him, then when he left, I liked him again. I give up. Hear that, witch? I give up. What ever happens, happens, and as long as I’m nice to him and tell him when I change my mind, I think I’ll be a good wife and Mommy someday. Now that’s easy. I can do that.