All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
I Am Gone
I lie in bed peacefully dreaming of lovely meadows and magnificent places. Then
that awful horrific sound pierces through my head, it shatters all the wonderful thoughts. The sound of blasting music, music that I love to listen to, just not when I am asleep. It’s that wretched alarm going off for the third time this morning! I hear my mom yelling for me to get up and can almost make out the sound of the blender making my breakfast. Slowly I pull my self out of bed and open my drawers to get ready, but to my astonishment I can’t pick up anything! Quickly I turn around to look at my self in the mirror but instead of seeing those big blue tired eyes stare back at me something much worse appears…NOTHING! When I dash downstairs to tell my mom I run right into her. Expecting a collision I duck, but instead I slide right through her. I start to holler, “What’s going on,” but realize that she can’t hear me! The thought hits my brain much too quickly for me to comprehend the cold truth…I am invisible!
Slowly and gradually the horrible truth sinks in, I do not exist to the human eye. I
say human like it’s an alien species. I’m still a human, aren’t I? I watch painfully as my family searches the house for me, they search everywhere, hoping that I left a trace. Was I kidnapped, did I runaway, or am I dead. Those are the questions they ask each other, the questions that no one can answer because none are true I’m here! If I could only make them realize maybe if I scream just a little louder or run at them just a little faster, maybe then they could see. My voice is just a helpless cry muffled and distorted by the swirling air, I wish they would listen maybe they could hear the silent whisper in the wind. It’s hopeless I can’t be heard, seen, or felt. I am a little piece of their lives taken away, or am I? Is their really no cure, no way out of this invisibility? Surely there is, I mustn’t give up so quickly.
I have to get out of here! I have to find somewhere to think! I start to run as fast as
I can, my mind doesn’t think about where I’m going my legs just carry me to…to where? I’m headed strait for the dark dense forest! The kinds of forests that you hear stories about, the ones with trees that you feel hide secrets in their roots. I don’t care I run faster, I have to keep moving! My muscles ache for rest but my head longs for speed! Finally I come to a clearing, a place where the sun beets down on the damp green grass. I stayed there for what seemed a long while, but finally came to the conclusion that I must go back. Even if I am unseen maybe in my own way I can find a way to help, to be the lookout. I was a girl, a daughter, a sister, and a friend, but now I am only a piece of blue sky that is gone, a memory lost. I am…dead.
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 13 comments.
Ok, so I'm super honest with my opinions and coincidentally (since I'm a writer) I am not very good at tactfully saying my opinion. So, I must first and foremost say that this is a wonderful IDEA for a story. And I loved the ending. I didn't see it coming at all.
BUT the punctuation needed some serious work. I got lost in the words sometimes because there was nothing there to seperate them.
Also, (and if anyone disagrees please tell me) but when a narration uses more than one exclamation point, it really gets under my skin. It's kind of like laughing at your own writing. It cheapens your work. (There is the exception to dialogue.)
I think you used to much of the story with the character just spitting out the random thoughts in her head. If the story had been longer this would not have been a problem, but seeing the length, it took up three-fourths. I know that she was panicking but when you're writing- although your character very well may be scatterbrained- you have to find a way to organize her ramblings and make them almost poetic so the reader doesn't get lost.
Really, I love the idea for this. And I know I gave a lot of critique but I wouldn't have given all of that if I really didn't see the potential of this piece.
26 articles 0 photos 18 comments
Favorite Quote:
It is better to not speak and let people think you are a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.