A Last Lullaby- The Beginning | Teen Ink

A Last Lullaby- The Beginning

October 14, 2011
By NiklausMikaelson1864 SILVER, Southwest Harbor, Maine
NiklausMikaelson1864 SILVER, Southwest Harbor, Maine
5 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Please note that I am saying this as I twirl my metaphorical mustache." ~Talon McCallister


Prologue-I met his eyes as I raise the knife.

“Liv,no!” he whispered. As the blade reached it’s target, the words to my song drifted to me:

“When I left, I don’t even think I saw you cry. I am forever broken. You can’t fix me…”

Darkness.

Chapter 1: Pain. 5:45 in the morning and I’m already getting the snot beat out of me.

“What is it this time, Dad?” I whined. Another blow to the back.

“Don’t get smart with me, brat. Get up! I have to be somewhere, so get your a** to school!” he hissed.

“All right, all right.” My hands found the alarm clock and turned it off.
That’s me: Alivia Nathanson. Daughter to John, the abusive alcoholic. I examine myself in the mirror. No black eye today. My eyes narrow as I take in my reflection. Chesnut brown hair, startling green eyes, a perfect tan. I think I’m pretty. My friends think I’d be a knockout without my scar.
That’s right, scar. 1.5 inches across my right eye. Yet another reminder of my dad’s rages.


The author's comments:
Kay guys...I have written more, but I want people's opinions. Should I keep going?

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This article has 23 comments.


on Oct. 28 2011 at 8:01 pm
purplemango SILVER, Ann Arbor, Michigan
5 articles 1 photo 12 comments
oops it sent it before I was finished! anyway, I was thinking you could show the acts of the father and leave the mystery of who he is (the abusive alcoholic) to be unraveled later? just a thought. it's looking great though!

on Oct. 28 2011 at 7:58 pm
purplemango SILVER, Ann Arbor, Michigan
5 articles 1 photo 12 comments
I agree-- this could go a lot of places! Keep writing :) Some constructive criticism would be: in your last written paragraph, instead of telling the reader right away about her father, perhaps sh

on Oct. 28 2011 at 5:58 pm
Kvothe28 SILVER, Temecula, California
5 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
Excuse me while I prepare my impromptu remarks. -Winston Churchill<br /> <br /> Tell it like it is, not how it was. -Jonathan<br /> <br /> Break it down like a fine English double-gun. -R. Bitoni

Yes, I would defenietely keep going. You should post the rest too. It could go a lot of places. =)