“It’s not easy being C#. Being different, being a half step, let me just tell you it stinks, stinks like Beethoven’s last apartment. You’re not like the rest of the crowd, the true letters. They have the life. Everyone knows who they are. There’s no confusion like with me. People see me and think:”
“Hey isn’t that guy D flat?”
“No, no I think that’s just C sharp.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Beats me. (Cue laughing)”
“See, story of my life. Every sharp has a doppelgänger flat and nobody knows the difference, nobody cares. It’s not fare! Why couldn’t I be E flat, his reciprocate is E natural. I mean nobody gets them confused, people know the difference, and yet they’re the same thing!
Sharps never get the key signature either it’s always the naturals. Damn those naturals! You don’t even have to call them naturals, they’re just their names, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, just neutral in the key signatures, but you wanna know what they call guys like me? An accidental. Ya that’s right, like I’m an accident! It’s like the composer was thinking,”
“Well I really don’t want to use C sharp, and it’s not in the key signature, but I guess I really have to.”
“How about that, an accident, and I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: Well sharps must be in the key signature sometimes, and you’d be right, we do get it sometimes, but that’s just it WE do. That’s right we. Try and remember when was the last time you played a piece that was just in the key of C sharp. You can’t, can you. That’s because I never get the key signature all to myself. That’s right, the only time you see me in the key signature is if I’m paired with those idiots F and G sharp. Ooh and don’t even get me started about that F sharp. He thinks he’s so important because he’s in the key signature all the time by himself. Well you know what F sharp, you’re still no B flat. That’s right, I said it. B flat is the favorite. B flat is the most important accidental and he knows it. It’s probably because he’s so chummy with the treble clef, but at least he’s humble about it. I mean he’s the key that concert bands tune to. He is the man! But unlike some notes I know (wink wink hint hint F sharp) he doesn’t brag about it. He takes his awesomeness in stride and act’s like he’s thinking,”
“Ya I’m cool, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“That’s what I like about the guy. But poor A sharp. She has to stand in the shadow of that guy. Most composers think why use A sharp when there’s B flat around. I know, it’s cruel. Most people don’t even realize that they’re the same thing. People have to really think to use A sharp, and then they simply think oh ok it’s a B flat! But you know what A flat? There’s always the chromatic scale babe. They have to notice you then.
Yup, that’s all us sharps and flats have to look forward to: scales. That’s the only time we get used on a regular basis, and boy do I feel used. All scales are are practice. That’s it. It’s not a song or a melody, it can’t be beautiful, it’s just a combination of notes that are supposed to help with recall and muscle memory. At least they have to remember me then. To memorize a scale you have to learn me. Heck, I even have my own scale! And scales are to help learn all the notes for usage in a piece. And I do get used in a lot of pieces. I mean even if I’m an accident I’m an important accident! And I may not stand alone in the key signature, but hey at least I’m in there. I still feel really bad for A sharp, but I’m not A sharp. I’m C sharp and as long as I’m learned, and even get my own scale, I guess it’s not so bad being C sharp.