Fostering Joy
Her breathing grew labored and his heart tightened. Benjamin held on to her hand tightly, probably too tightly. The skin was soft and puckered with wrinkles. He wished that her last moments could have been in the comforts of their own home, not here, in the hospital. Joy was his everything. She couldn’t die, he thought. They hadn’t had enough time together. Sure, 42 years might seem like a long time together, but not when you’re in love. And dear God did he love her. More than he loved his coffee in the morning, more than he loved the stars at night, more than he loved himself.
He touched his forehead to Joy’s. Her eyelids flickered, revealing her soft green eyes, and she whispered a soft “I love you”. Then she was gone. Gone was Joy from his life. Benjamin sobbed softly until her body was taken. Letting go of her hand was the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life.
Life moved on around Benjamin, but time stood still inside his mind. After the funeral, Benjamin’s house was empty, and that’s the way he liked it. He couldn’t take the sympathetic glances from friends and the few family members he and his wife had between them. He was a cold and heartless man before he met Joy, and now he turned back to that now that she was gone. Ben stopped leaving the house unless it was absolutely necessary.
Ben was sitting in the two person chair and was staring at the empty place next to him when a plump cat jumped up on the well worn seat. He pushed the cat off. It came back and jumped up once more to butt its head against the old man.
“Go away, Lucy. I have nothing for you.”

The cat persisted and put its orange head in Ben’s lap. Lucy was Joy’s cat. Ben never cared for it. “Her,” Joy would have corrected. She seemed to think cats had personalities and feelings. Ben smiled at the thought and patted Lucy on the head deciding to show a bit of kindness. Ben gave a loud yelp. The cat had bit him! He had shown it kindness and it bit him!
“Pshh.” He said. “I’m not bothering with you anymore.”
The cat gave him an inquisitive stare. Why had the cat bit him? It always cuddled with Joy and managed to take up half the bed space at night, fat cat. A wave of sadness washed over him. He had thought of Joy in the past tense.
He wouldn’t let the cat sleep with him anymore, it reminded him too much of his wife. He didn’t even want it in the house. That night, before he went to bed, he put the cat and its food bowl outside. He looked at the leaves changing colours and sighed. He felt a little bit guilty, but he would rather have his uninterrupted sleep, than a cat in his bed. Ben was so wrong. The yowling that Lucy did that night was astonishing, he didn’t sleep a wink. He finally had to go downstairs in the early morning to let the cat inside. Lucy bee lined for the bed and promptly fell asleep on Joy’s pillow. This time, the old man didn’t argue.
Ben woke up that same morning in a daze. He stretched across the bed and felt a warm spot on the pillow. Joy must have just gotten up and is downstairs making breakfast, he thought. Ben’s smile faded as reality set in and he realized the Joy was not downstairs. The warmth was from the stupid cat. Lucy was yowling loudly again from downstairs. He felt completely drained. Ben didn’t know how much longer he could carry on like this. He puttered down the stairs in his pajamas to see what the cat wanted.
Lucy was pawing at the cupboard so Ben guessed that she was hungry. He went outside to get her food bowl that he had put out there the night before; he had forgotten to bring it in with the cat. Ben was surprised to see three other felines surrounding the bowl. He started yelling and waving his arms wildly to shoo them away. In the excitement he forgot to close the sliding door behind him. The three cats bolted for the door and were inside the house before Ben realized what was happening.
Ben was fuming, this is why I hate cats, he thought. Back inside he went, this time with a broom handy. The cats were congregated in the kitchen. Ben made his way towards them slowly, so not to startle them. He was just getting ready to sweep them out the back door when he realized something; there was something wrong with each cat. One was absolutely huge, one was all skin and bones, and the other was missing an eye. They cowered in the corner, Lucy among them, waiting for Ben to strike.
“Joy would never forgive me if I threw these pathetic creatures out the door.” Ben said as he remembered how much of an animal lover Joy was. He didn’t want to disappoint her again.
Ben set the broom aside and shook his head.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
He went about the kitchen and got four bowls of food and water. He made a sort of barricade around the kitchen so the cats couldn’t get into the other parts of the house and then sat across the room to watch the scene unfold in front of him. Lucy was the first to go over to the food, obviously more comfortable with her surroundings. Next was the fat cat. It waddled over to a dish of food; it looked oddly like a goose. Next was the skinny black cat. It looked like a demon from hell, with its glaring eyes and crooked teeth pointing in every direction. Lastly, the cat with the missing eye trotted over for food. It was definitely the ugliest with its oozing eyeless hole.
Ben looked at the four cats in front of him, bent over eating.
“Lucy, Goose, Hades, and Pirate” He said.
Ben brought his hand to his face when he realized that he had already given them names. What was he getting himself into? Ben didn’t know the first thing about cats and besides he had enough to worry about, like the fact that Joy’s will was being read that afternoon. Ben looked at his watch; he should be getting ready for that now.
Joy didn’t have much family, and her only friend was Ben, so Ben was sure that there wasn’t going to be any surprises in the courtroom that day. They had no secrets between each other, so when the will was read and a large sum of money went to Ben, he was shocked. They never had that kind of money, and why did Joy keep it separate? He went home with the account information and a note from Joy. She said that the money was to be used to start up a foster home for cats. It was always her dream and she had been saving up for it since she was young. She told Ben to open his heart up to these animals and maybe he can learn to love again after she had passed on.
Ben couldn’t believe it. This was too much of a coincidence. He looked at the ugly cats in his kitchen. Lucy was looking at him intently; she did not think this was coincidence. She thought it was fate.
Why a foster home, Ben thought. A foster home meant that there was some hope these animals would move on into different loving homes. These cats were way too scraggly for someone to want them, let alone love them. Besides, he only has four cats, definitely not enough to start up some sort of shelter, he thought. Joy couldn’t expect this from him.
Benjamin went upstairs to lie down and think about the events of the day. He had only just begun to relax when he heard a horrific yowl from downstairs. He tried to ignore it but it came again. It was a sound of intense pain. By the time he made it downstairs, the fat cat was panting heavily and there was blood. There was also a little dark blob on the floor next to the cat. Ben went over to investigate and realized it was a kitten. Goose wasn’t fat, just pregnant! Ben hurriedly got towels and a bowl of hot water. Never having kids of his own, Ben’s only experience with birth was with the shows he watched on television. Husbands were always told to get hot water and towels. Ben just didn’t know what to do with them. He wrapped the kitten up in a towel and set it aside. Goose still seemed to have another one in her. Ben started saying soothing words to the cat, trying to ease its pain. He shouldn’t touch the cat, he knew that much. Soon enough Goose pushed out another blob.
“Whew, glad that’s over.” Ben sighed.
He looked back at the two kittens and Lucy was already helping to clean them off. Ben was just about to go get more towels to clean the floor when Goose pushed out another blob. And another one. And another one. By the time she was done, there were seven blobs in total. The cat was exhausted, and so was Ben.
“Well, I think I have enough cats to start a home now.” Ben said.
Ben stayed up with the kittens all night and when morning came Ben realized that the last time he had felt something like this was when Joy was alive. He felt needed. The cats gave him peace the same way Joy had when she was alive. When he was with her he didn’t feel so angry and hateful about everything and he didn’t question the cards he was dealt in life; it was the same with the cats. In the next week, Ben managed to turn the first floor of his house into a cat haven. All the support beams were turned into scratching posts and there were feathered toys hanging off every edge. With the money his wife left him, he could take care of all of the cats now living with him. And to tell the truth, he found himself actually wanting to. It was just a job of finding a home for them. Soon enough, word got out about what Ben was doing and people began to take notice. One afternoon, a lady knocked on Ben’s door with two full grown cats in her arms.
“Hi there, so I heard from my neighbor that you’re taking in cats. Well I’m moving out of state and I really can’t take these two with me. I was hoping you’d be able to take them off my hands.”
Ben stared at her.
“I don’t think you get what I’m doing. I’m trying to get rid of the cats I have, not take more in.” Ben said.
“Well my neighbor said-”
“I don’t care what your neighbor said!” Ben shouted, “I’m not going to take your cats.”
The lady huffed and then left. Ben closed the door, wondering if he had done the right thing. He already had eleven cats; Joy couldn’t expect him to take more, could she? The whole point was trying to find the cats he already had, a new loving home. The doorbell rang again.
Ben opened the door, ready to face the lady again, but instead almost tripped over a box. Inside the box were the two cats the lady had. She was nowhere to be seen. Ben sighed and brought the cats inside. He introduced Laverne and Larry to the rest of the group.
After that, Ben stopped denying cats at his door. He didn’t have the heart to do it. Soon enough, cats weren’t just coming in his door but they were leaving too. Pirate, who was the ugliest cat Ben had ever seen, was the first to go. He was adopted by a young family, and Ben was actually sad to see the one eyed cat leave. He knew it was for the best though, he knew he would have to move on.
Ben was now so busy that he hardly had time to think of the sadness from losing Joy, but every time a cat was adopted, he remembered holding her hand for the last time and having to let go. It was because of Joy that Ben learned to love again. In each cat he took in, his heart mended a bit more. He would never forget Joy or stop feeling the pain of losing her, but it would get easier.
Ben was putting the last nail in the sign on his front gate when Lucy came up beside him. Ben had finally figured out a name for his foster home for cats. She looked up at the sign which read, Fostering Joy: A Foster Home for Cats. Lucy’s soft green eyes shone.