It’s dark and cold. I look into the darkness of my room, wondering why I’m still here. I just want to sleep, and never wake up. I force myself to sit up. Everything is how I left it. But it’s all in complete darkness. Samson, my cat, stares at me with his green eyes. I rub the top of his head but my hand falls. It’s cold and dark. This is it. Tonight is the night. I grab the bottle of pills on my nightstand.
It’s dark but this time, it isn’t cold. A warm breeze blows past. “This way.” It whispers. I follow the wind and come to an open field. A large great oak rises over the field. Small white flowers grow at the roots. Is this what Heaven looks like? The breeze blows again. “Further.” It whispers. Past the tree is a dark forest. A small dirt path grows out of it like an extended finger.
The dark takes control again but the warmth is still there. White, glowing butterflies float past on a never ending current of air. The trees open to a small clearing. In the center is a crooked tree. The evil twin of the great oak. Small black flowers grow at the roots. I see a hangman’s noose tied to the highest branch. This tree was created for people who committed suicide. This is where my soul is stored. I try to turn around, try to go back to the oak, but the path is gone.
“Name.” A deep, demonic growl shatters the silence. I turn around and stare. The tree had grown long arms, covered in a dark cloak. Red, empty eyes stare. In its hand is a dark wooden clipboard with a black crooked pencil.
“V-Violet.” I stamper.
“Suicide I presume?” I throw my hand to my head. Its voice echoes in my head.
“Y-Yes. Please, what is it you want?”
“Take a step to the right Violet. Someone will see to you shortly.” It points to my right. I do as it says and whimper. This isn’t how I wanted it to be. I wanted to not be afraid anymore. This is a nightmare.
“Violet!” I jump and stifle a scream. A young man with black hair stares at me. His eyes are red like the trees. In his hand is another clipboard and a black crooked pencil.
“H-Here” I shuffle to him. He looks me up and down then writes something down on the clipboard.
“Welcome to the place in between Violet. My name is Vic. Follow me.” He starts to walk.
“Wait! The place in between? What do you mean?” I run after him.
“The place in between Heaven and Hell. You see, you died before you were supposed to. So, you weren’t sent to Heaven, and you weren’t sent to Hell. Now, quickly, we must hurry.” He walks faster.
“But why?”
“So we can get you checked in of course. Whenever someone commits suicide, they must check in. So we need name, birth, death, age, gender. We need it all then you will be here. With the other suicides.” I catch up to him and we walk into the trees behind the crooked tree.
Darkness and a warm breeze. I follow the sounds of Vic’s footsteps. We come to a small patch of light, cast down to the ground by an old rusty lantern. Ahead is a rundown motel. It rises up into the sky and disappears. It’s leaning far to the left and looks like it will crumble any minute.
We walk through the front doors and Vic rings the bell on a counter. A hand slams down onto the table and not soon afterward, the body follows. There’s a dark line across the man’s neck.
“Another one?” He nods to me and I’m afraid that his head would fall right off.
“Yes, make sure she’s checked in then show her to her room.” Vic looks at me one last time then walks into the Employ’s only door behind the counter.
The man hands me a clipboard with a crooked pencil. “Take as long as you need.” He gestures behind me. I look back. Old, dusty chairs are now where the door was. I sit down in one and look at the paper.
All of them, questions. Date of birth, name, gender, even how I killed myself. I stare at the sheet then frown. “I’m not going to fill this out.” I look at the man. He looks at me confused.
“You can’t stay here if you don’t fill that out.”
“I don’t want to stay here! This place is horrible! I want to be in Heaven! Not here! That’s why-”
“That’s why you committed suicide.” Vic comes out of the Employ’s only door and looks at me. “You don’t get it. You’re dead. There’s no going back.”
“This isn’t what I want!”
“WE never get what we want do we?! That’s why all of us here are dead! God! Don’t you get it?! You messed up!” His eyes glare and his voice rises.
“Now Vic, is that any way to talk to a lady?” Vic’s body tenses up and he frowns. An older man with pure white hair comes out of a door to my left that I hadn’t noticed. “You see Violet. You’re dead. We can’t just . . . send you back.” He smiles, his teeth are pure white.
“There must be a way!” I feel hot tears stream down my cheeks.
“My dear, if there was a way, We wouldn’t be having this discussion. Oh, hold the phone! Why, there is a way. But, it will be a big risk.”
“Please! Anything!” The old man smiles at me. The man behind the counter starts to sweat. Vic looks at me then at the old man.
“Well . . . we can revive you . . . for a price. You will have to find a reason why you shouldn’t committee suicide. But, if you don’t, you will be brought back here.” He smiles a sweet smile.
“But-”
“No buts! That is the only way!” Vic glares at the man then looks at me.
“I will. Please, send me back.” I plead.
“You have until sunset on Sunday. Oh, and Vic here will be going back with you too. We don’t want you to get stuck now would we?”
There’s complete darkness. And it’s cold. “God, can’t see a thing.” Vic’s voice says. I reach over and turn on my night stand light. I let out a small shriek then I calm down. Vic stares at me from the foot of my bed. He’s wearing the same dark cloak but his eyes are now a sky blue. “Hello there. Yeah, he sent me with you. Even though this is a bad idea.” I stare at him. “Hmm, do all girls stare at guys who stand at the foot of their bed?’ He asks me. I am speechless. Samson climbs onto my lap and stares at Vic. I rub the back of his head without thinking. I get slapped by realities hand then I moan.
“Come on. If my parents find you then you are dead.” I place Samson on the floor. I throw my blanket off me then slip into my slippers. He follows me down the hall and onto the back porch. There is no light. I feel my way to the steps then sit down. Vic sits down beside me.
“I was wondering. Why did you committee suicide?” He asks.
“Long story.”
“I have time.”
“Well . . . first of all, I have no friends, my parents hate me, and I have no one to talk to. I’m called names like liar, cheater, and backstabber. Even though I’ve done nothing. I’ve always kept to myself. I guess it all started in Middle School. I was always the misfit. An easy target. I’ve had pranks pulled on me, I’ve been called names, and a few weeks ago, a group of girls cornered me in the bathroom. I still have bruises.” I rub my hand on my left arm and sigh. “This world was just too much for me you know? I just wanted to sleep, and never wake up.” Samson comes out of the car door and curls up beside me. I smile and rub the top of his head.
“Well, you succeeded with that.”
“I just don’t understand how people can be so cruel. Especially to people who have never done anything.”
“I don’t know why. Just another mystery.”
“Alight, I’ve told you my story. Now, tell me yours.” I hear his breathing in the darkness.
“You really want to know?”
“I would like to know but you don’t-”
“I was cheated on by a girl I wanted to marry. Her name was Annabel. Her hair, was sunlight blond, her eyes were green, and she had millions of freckles on her nose. One day, I found her in my best friend’s car. Well I think you know what happened. I was depressed. Then, I found my father’s pistol. It was quick and easy. I was nineteen I think. I guess I still am in a way even though I’ve been dead for a few years.”
“Jeez. I’m sorry.”
“It’s nothing. Now that I think about it. I don’t know what I saw in her. She was mean to everyone, even me. I guess love is blind huh?” We sit quietly for a moment.
“At least you were able to love someone.” I whisper.
“Huh?”
“I don’t even love my parents. Heck, I don’t even know what love feels like. I’m eighteen years old and I’ve never had my first kiss. Wow, I’m a loser aren’t I?”
“No. You would be a loser if you didn’t have anything.”
“But I don’t have anything.” He’s quiet for a moment. A cloud moves from the dark sky. The moon shines down on us.
“What are you talking about you don’t have anything?” I look at him and he’s smiling. “Don’t think that I’m hitting on you but you’re beautiful. And besides, you have a great heart.” I feel my cheeks redden.
“It’s not funny.”
“No I’m serious! You’re pretty much the girl I dreamed about when I was younger. Dark brown hair, not very tall but not short either, shinning blue eyes, and a perfect heart.” He smiles at me. “Hey, how old are you anyways? You haven’t told me.”
“Turned eighteen a few days ago. No birthday party, there wasn’t anything. Overlooked again. Welcome to my life Vic.”
“So, you didn’t get anything for your birthday?”
“Nothing.”
“Well, what’s something you’ve always wanted?” I think for a moment.
“Someone to love me. I’ve been lonely. I admit that.”
“Well, I don’t know if I can give you that but, I can give you something close to that.” He looks at the moon and laughs. Quickly and silently, he kisses me. It’s small and quick but it seems to last a life time.
“So, you decided to give me my first kiss?”
“It’s the only thing I can give I guess.” He smiles shyly at me. “You know, you’re not that bad. If things were different, I would ask you out. But, since it seems we will both be going back to the land in between, there isn’t anything we can do.”
“If I had someone like you before the pills, I wouldn’t have done it. You or whoever would be my reason to live.” I smile at him. His eyes widen then he smiles.
“I don’t think either of us will be going back anytime soon.”
“What?”
“You found a reason to be here right? Me. And since the old man sent me here with you. I get to stay alive and on earth. With you of course.”
“Would that work?”
“Why wouldn’t it?” I think for a moment.
“Well, thanks Vic. I don’t think I could have gone back there.”
“No, I should thank you. I already had to be there for a few years. It’s good to breathe again.” He laughs again. We sit silently. The ground starts to rumble.
“Vic!!” I hear the old man’s voice. Samson jumps and bolts through the cat door. The flap waving back and forth. Vic and I both get to our feet. The man walks out of thin air and frowns. “I sent you with her to make sure she didn’t find a reason!”
“Hey! I found a reason to stay alive! That was the deal!” I scream. I don’t want to have to go back. To be honest, I don’t want to be without Vic. He seems to understand.
“I wasn’t talking to you!” The man snaps at me.
“Look, she did what you said. Both of us get to stay.” Vic’s voice is calm.
“She wasn’t supposed to find anything! You were supposed to make sure of that! I trusted you Vic. You and her are coming back with me.” He starts to raise his hand. Vic takes a step forward and he lowers it.
“You have no power here. You’re in the land of the living. Only God and Death have power here.” The man looks at him stunned. He starts to growl.
“You’ve taken one life that is supposed to be mine! Now I’m out of two! You and that little brat!” I want to roll my eyes but I just watch. His body grows while his eyes turn red. Just like the trees.
“What do you know? You know nothing about her! Get out of here!” Vic takes another step. Both of his hands are clenched. The old man glares at him.
“I’ve leaving, but if I ever get a chance. I’m going to bring you both back.” The old man growls. He takes a step back and vanishes. Vic’s body loosens then he places his hand on his forehead.
“That took a lot out of me.” He looks back at me and smiles. I can’t help it and I hug him. He hugs me back.
“Thanks Vic. Again.”
“For what? You are the reason I’m here.” He smiles at me. “I think, we are going to be stuck with each other for a while. First reason is, I’m really into you. Second, I don’t know anyone anymore. Third, and most of all, I need you.” I stare at him speechless.
“What did you say?”
“I need you.” I hug him tighter.
“I always told myself, if anyone ever said that, then I wouldn’t kill myself. You…you don’t know how much that means to me Vic.” I feel him smile.
“Well, you’re going to hear it at least once a day from now on.”
It’s dark but this time, everything is warm.