“I’m strong, I’m smart, I’m bold. I am strong, I am smart, I am bold!” I told myself over and over with more confidence each time. I was laying in my bed trying to become brave enough to tell my mom I was feeling under the weather, so I didn't have to go to school. I was twelve year old girl , who loved going to school, when my bullies weren't there, but of course they were there almost every day. They made me feel worthless, and miserable.
I could hear my mom coming up the stairs. My ears were buzzing, my heart was racing, my legs were even shaking. I didn't want to tell my her about all the bullying that was going on at school because , I knew she would do nothing about it. Or she would say that I was the one who instigated the situation. Her giving her two since always made me feel worse. I would never tell her about the stuff I was struggling with, for that reason. It was as if I wasn't her little girl anymore. I still wanted her love and affection , but she never gave it to me in the ways I wanted it.
“Why aren't you out of bed yet? You’re going to miss the bus.”she said in a rough tone.
“Oh, its that time already?” I said in shame knowing that I had just chickened out. Oh, I was furious with myself. Then, I blurted “ I think I’m sick.” My mom just looked at me with a scowl. I was almost positive she knew i was hiding something.
“ Why? What's wrong?”she said in a softer tone than expected.
“ Um, I have an ear-stomach ache.”I switched answers quickly and paused.
She expressed very sternly “I don't believe you get up ,get ready and be ready to go, in a few minutes!”.
“But, but ….Fine.” I groaned. I had ten minutes until the bus would be at my bus stop, so I stood up and started to adron. I was ready just in time. My mom and I loaded up in the car ,so we could drive to the bus stop. When I made it there all I wanted to do was put my earphones in, and block everyone out. I always felt so alone on the bus and at the bus stop, except when I was with Junior. But sometimes he was mean to me like everyone else. I never really understood why people weren't fond of me, but now I think I have a pretty good Idea on why.I can be very loud and over talkative. I will admit I was and still am very weird, that might have something to do with it also.
I was getting on the bus when ,I started to remember that I was getting on a bus that was taking me to Hell’s home. There, was going to be so much drama , that I wasn't ready to deal with this early in the morning.

When the bus stopped I took a breath and mumbled to myself “ I will be fine. No one will even notice me.”

Junior whom I was sitting with asked me “What?” .

I uttered to him “OH, nothing I was just talking to myself.”with a gentle smile.

He smiled at me and stated “Okay.” I was still not happy that my mom didn't let me stay home but it was a little late now. I guess it was better not to do a lot of make up work.

Our column was told we could stand up and get off, but I started to stalling. I was going super slow, thinking about what was coming ahead, I knew it wasn't unicorns and rainbows. I guess if I had just thought about the fact that I wasn't the only one who had problems like this, it might had been easier.

When I made it off the bus, I strolled to the cafeteria. When, I finally got there and took a few steps in,and by then I could feel those girls staring at me. It was as if they were looking at a tray full of makeup and perfumes that they desperately wanted. I could feel the chill of their blood vicious mouths tearing me apart, with their cruel words. I could hear them laughing at me with their friends, talking about how socially awkward I was.
I could feel the rivers of salt water rushing from the ocean behind my eyes, to my cheeks. I couldn't stop them. The dam I had built to block the feelings of hurt and the tears of sorrow from coming out, just broke, shattered, ruptured. I ran to the bathroom, with the tears flying off my face like water off a duck’s back. As soon as I saw myself in the mirror I just wanted to let the hurricane go wild. I wiped all the tears off my face and took a deep breath and let out a sigh.
“ I am done with this, I need to forget everything they have said to me and about me and start over.”I told myself knowing that I could do it .