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First World Problems
Dear Diary,
Today was the worst day of my life! It was the most horrific day ever. I can’t even. It was just… a disaster.
It all started this morning when my butler woke me up half an hour early because apparently, I take too long in the mornings getting ready for school. Well FYI, Winston, it’s not that easy to look this good every single day before 8:30. Anyway, when I went to take my shower my special shampoo from my personal hairdresser was finished, so I had to use the stupid TreSemme shampoo from the grocery store. My hair was silky and smooth, but I still don’t like using common hair products. It’s gross! It’s like using a public bathroom with only one toilet! No thanks!
When I was getting dressed, I wanted to wear my favorite Ralph Lauren sweater, but it was in the laundry room waiting to get washed, so I had to wear my Michael Kors shirt. It’s so unfair! My brother Landon always gets his clothes washed first and I never get to wear what I want! I never get anything I want! Why does the universe hate me?
Since Winston had to wake me up early, I got to school 10 minutes before the bell and I had to stand around and talk with my friends. Then, I learnt that I had completely done my science homework wrong, so I had to change it. It took forever! It was such a burden.
For lunch, the cafeteria people were serving 7 cheese lasagna. Um, hello! I’m on a strict no carb, no fat diet. I had no intention to eat that… but it was the only thing they had. So, I was forced to eat that cheesy, gooey, greasy blob of carbs and fat. I think I almost died and that’s not even the worst part. For dessert, we had pudding. Chocolate pudding. I really thought I was going to die right there. Death by chocolate. I could see the newspaper headlines right there. Teenage girl murdered by chocolate. It was so traumatizing.
At the end of the school day, I got no homework except for my stupid English class where we got a new assignment! I really can’t have one day with no homework, can I? I hate school. After one long, exhausting day of school, all I wanted to do was hang out with my BFF Alaska, but I couldn’t because she had some stupid soccer game. Then she had the nerve to invite me to come watch. I’m sorry; I’m not wasting my time watching some stupid sport that I don’t like. So instead, I watched a full session of Gossip Girl on Netflix. It wasn’t even fun. If I’m going to binge watch Gossip Girl, then I’d like to it with a friend, but I don’t have any good friends anymore because they’re all “busy” doing “homework” or “babysitting” or “going to practice”. Whatever.
Finally, to end my horrible day, I dropped my phone on the way to my room and the screen got cracked. Now I won’t be able to watch my YouTube videos properly because that stupid crack is going to annoy me.
Why does my life suck? I seriously doubt that anyone had a worst day than me and if there is, than they must live on another planet.
Sincerely, America.
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