It was Friday night in the town of Belair. Everyone was celebrating the onset of the weekend, finally a break from work and a break from school. My parents had gone out to a friend’s engagement party and wouldn’t be back till the next day and so they were leaving me at home...alone. Or so they thought. Really, a 19 year old like me could be out doing anything. The world awaited me. I was legal, young and most definitely ready to party. (And I pretty much did that every weekend.) But tonight was movie night. Saw II, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Exorcism of Emily Rose were all on tonight’s playlist.

I’d invited a few buddies over to join me. Along with them came their girls, pizza and a couple of six-packs. Maybe more than a couple. But that was their business, not mine.

At about 9’o clock my friends finally arrived, the doorbell rang. My good friends, Daniel, Sven and Ray had come with their usual posse of giggling girls. I let them in and they proceeded to make themselves comfortable. Since there was limited room on the couches, I settled in on the floor in front of the television.

“Hey, Will,” Daniel said to me, “Pass me a drink, will ya. I’m kinda...squished.” He flexed his muscles to prove the point. I chucked him a can. I rolled my eyes as the girls tittered. I could already predict how the night would proceed. Every time Daniel (or Ray or Sven) would open their mouths, some girl would fawn over them. And giggle. And completely ruin the effect of the movie we were watching. God, I hope they drank themselves to sleep.

After they’d all shut up, or in Ray’s case, fallen asleep, I turned on Saw II. Finally, the purpose of the night had been reached. I sat engrossed, oblivious to the world around me as I watched Jigsaw’s sick game of death.

That is...until I heard a distinct sniffle. “Why do they all have to die,” she wailed. Sven belched and then put his drink down on. “Don’t worry, baby. It’ll be all right.” He tucked his arm around her, the epitome of protectiveness. I had to swallow down the urge to hurl.

Eventually her sobs quieted and I was able to concentrate on the movie again. Luckily, the girls mostly stayed quiet (except for a few somewhat annoying girlish screams) and I was able to enjoy the movie.

After the television screen went blank, I put in the second movie, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I knew this one would most probably send some of the girls into cardiac arrest.

It turned out I was wrong. When Leatherface popped up on the screen, there indeed was a shrill scream. Only...it happened to be coming from Ray.

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, WHAT THE %7