Ballet requires the deepest concentration. Close your eyes, I thought to myself.
What will people think of you dancing with your eyes closed? The voice inside my head fires back. I’m alone in a dark studio, I thought back. No one can see me. I began to move slowly through first to third position. They’ll judge you, the voice said in a high octave as if it was singing the words. My movements slowed and then stopped completely. I run a hand through my hair. I just want to be accepted, I thought. Maybe you should just go home. “One more time,” I reply out loud. “One more time.” My movements begin short, unsure, and small. You call that dancing? I speed up stepping with purpose. No seriously, you call this dancing? My movements flow elegantly now. I move my arm and my heart goes with it. My leg glides to the ceiling and my soul glides with it. I realized I had been afraid. Afraid of the world and its harsh thoughts and feelings. I felt alive while dancing.