Though it may not be my fault, I feel guilty. I feel responsible. I feel weighted. They say the ones who weep the most regret not letting the one they lost know how much they meant to them and that’s exactly it for me. I cry because I wasn’t there for you, I couldn’t protect you, I couldn’t bring myself to visit you, and it’s all my fault. I made excuses for not seeing you. I said I was too busy, yet I was just too afraid. I didn’t think I could lose you, not like this. Not in my wildest dreams did I think I could lose you and I took advantage of that. I took advantage of the fact that I had all the time in the world and you didn’t. Had I known your days were dwindling down I would have seen you more. Had I known I would lose you I would have bent the world in two just to make sure you were happy. Had I known I would never get to see you again, how much more I would have paid attention to you. I’m sorry that I was naive, that I was stupid, that I was so damn selfish. I don’t even deserve to call myself your friend. Had I been your true friend I would have been there for you more. I would have stayed with you all those nights you were alone, all those mornings that you craved affection, all of those days where you longed for your friends. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you, that I made excuses, that I was a horrible friend; I’m sorry that I was a coward. If I could take it all back and rewrite time I would. I would go back and see you more, I would go back and hold you a little bit longer, and I would make sure you knew I loved you. The truth is forever is a lie. Forever doesn’t exist. We just lie to ourselves that forever exists because we are afraid of today so we put things off, but life and diseases don’t bend to those rules. To me the truth is that forever exists solely and purely right now.