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Recipe for Unproductive Studying
Ingredients
40 lbs of Backpack
An armful of textbooks
One Bustling coffee shop
One new Notebook
Two bags of chips
One Cup Iced mocha
One Tangled mess of headphones
One playlist of pop music
One Glitching computer
A handful of friends texting
One heap of notifications on Twitter
Three Ounces of viral video
½ Cup split beverage
Four mounds of Napkins
Twenty pages soiled in-class notes
A valley of doodles
Directions
1. Throw the backpack on your shoulders. Do this every day for four years of highschool in order to achieve permanent back problems.
2. Gather the textbooks and place them on your dining room table. Forget them there.
3. Arrive at the coffee shop, and sit at the last remaining table.
4. Place notebook on table.
5. Realize you forgot your textbooks, shrug, and get up to order.
6. Purchase the first bag of chips as well as the iced mocha- enjoy them while they last.
7. Once you’re annoyed by all the loud people talking in the cafe, attempt to untangle your headphones and put them in your ears still partly tangled.
8. Quietly bop to the trendy songs, forget about your work and just hum along to your favorite jams.
9. Open laptop and try to look something up on Safari. Become irritated that it’s not working and shove the computer back in your backpack.
10. Subdue the accumulating frustration with the text messages and the activity on Twitter.
11. Cut in the viral video and mash with laughter until smooth.
12. While laughing, knock over your beverage, spilling it onto your papers and chips.
13. Using the napkins, dab the affected areas, observe the ruined notes.
14. Ask for a new bag of chips.
15. Completely give up studying, and decide to doodle on the dry pages of notebook paper.
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