The loud muffled cheers seemed to go right through your ears as you take a breath. The feeling of your pulse as it pumps fast in your veins is the only thing you can comprehend. With a final nod of encouragement to yourself, you take one step out. Everything goes quiet as the sound of footsteps across the shiny wooden surface echo through your heart.

This is it. The thought in your mind seemed to quicken the beating of your heart. The breath in your lungs come out in short pants. As you reach the center stage and close your eyes for just a brief moment, knowing you can’t turn back now, you take another deep breath. The silence is unnerving and at the same time fulfilling. The feeling of dread mixed with adrenaline washes over your entire being and with determination, you open your eyes.

Turning to face the thousands of eyes watching you, their faces are all a blur. With a final deep breath, you lift the delicate violin into your arms. Placing it against your collarbone and gently laying the bow into place, you give a tug of faith. The sound echoes in the space around you as you pause and tug again. Your eyes gently shut as your arms begins to move fast but slow. Gentle yet jagged.

Losing yourself, you’re stuck in the world of melodies. Nothing can stop you as your mind turns barren. A feeling of imprisonment settles over your whole being and the melody is thrumming through you. Faster you move and faster your heart beats in sync with the beat of the melody, a harmony of intertwining souls.

The soul of the violin roars in you as it sings its lullaby. It chants like an enraged river. The waters run in turbulence as it searches for a larger territory to engulf. Nothing can slow it down as it destroys everything in its path. The instrument breathes in its destruction as it tears through the souls of others. Nothing can stop it now when it has your soul in its grasp. You’re stuck in it's all, waiting for it to squeeze out your dying breath.

Sweat forms across your brow and down your neck, feeling the battle of the convoluted essences. Your body moves, fighting the notes of havoc. To others, you’re passionate and ardent, but to you, you’re in oblivion.

Your fingers dance across the strings, waiting to shine. Everything is lost in you as your soul drifts away from your entire being. You watch above as you move like a machine, seeing the emptiness in your core deepen. Nothing is sane anymore and you’re trapped, trapped in the deceit of music.
What happened to the old happiness of playing the powerful violin? Where did the laughter of the strings disappear to? You fight to break from the capture of the song, your ultimate demise. “What a wonderful violinist!” A brief exclamation pulls you down to where you fought to get back.

You look around to hear the ring of the crowd’s appreciation and you realize something--the song is over. Your body quivers and your breathing is in gasps. Everything in you is exhausted, your mind, body, and soul. All you crave to do is fall back into oblivion, the oblivion of the deceitful violin’s lullaby. First calm and charming, and the next harsh and monstrous. It strikes at your heart with boisterous contempt.

It mocks all you do, laughing at your agony. No one can see your dying soul, no can hear the silent screams. No one can do anything but watch. Watch as you fade away in nothing, laugh as you plead in silent distress. The light of destruction is all you can see. The light is all you want.

You will do anything to get that light, no matter how much you suffer, no matter how far you’re stuck in oblivion.