“Guys I’m starving,” Brenda proclaimed as she paused The Notebook and pushed herself up off of the floor. As Brenda  stood up and stretched her arms above her head, her chic crop top exposed her imploding stomach.

    “Should we order something?” Jamie queried, whipping out her iPhone.
    “Oh my gosh, Jamie, I thought no one would ever ask,” Julie droned, “I haven’t eaten solid food in three days.”
    “Seriously, Julie? That doesn’t sound very healthy-”
    “Well we can’t order from the Veggie Grill, it got attacked by mutant bananas, remember? That’s why I dyed my hair. I didn’t want anyone to look at me and think: mutant banana,” lamented Brenda, cutting off Jamie in the process. “How about that avocado toast place?”
    “Mutant Açai berries,”. Jamie added with a sigh. “Can’t we just order a pizza?” Brenda and Julie whipped their heads over at Jamie in surprise.
    “Pizza?” they said in unison.
    “Um, yeah. I have a coupon for thirty percent off.” Now, the two girls turned to each other. They stared at each other intensely, a nervous sweat dripping down their foreheads.
    “Thirty percent off, you said?” Asked Brenda with a gulp.
    “Yup.”
    “Well, Brenda hesitated, “I guess I’m okay with that.”
    “Girls night!” Julie’s voice wavered as a sheepish smile took over her face.
    “If we’re gonna get pizza, we might as well go all out, proposed Brenda.
    “There goes my juice cleanse,” Julie complained, her voice dripping with venom.
    “Oh, please, Julie. You always cave.” Brenda combatted, her arms folded over that extremely fashionable crop top.
    Julie rolled her eyes and said, “Whatever,” with a flip of her pale purple hair. “Can we at least get the veggie kind?”
    “But pepperoni’s classic. We have to get it. Doesn’t everyone like pepperoni?”
    “Seriously Brenda? Meat? No wonder I can see your pores from here,” Julie sneered.
    “Wow. Below the belt, Julie. Just pick it off if you don’t want it.”
    “The taste lingers!” Julie exclaimed, her voice rising to a yell.
    “Let’s just get cheese. I’m ordering cheese, everyone!” Jamie called out. Julie flopped down onto the sofa bristling with irritation.
    “Did someone say cheese?” Hannah yelled from down the hall. She shut off the bathroom light and rejoined the others in the living room.
    “That took forever. What were you doing in there?” Asked Brenda, eager for a change in conversation.
    “I was on Pinterest, duh. Do you think they make croquembouche at that vegan, gluten-free bakery downtown?”
    “Uh, probably not,” Jamie answered with a chuckle, “we just ordered some pizza.” Suddenly, concern crossed over her face. “Oh no! Hannah, you’re vegan, right?”
    “Oh, it’s okay, I brought some vegan snacks to munch on. As long as the pizza's gluten-free…” Hannah trailed off expectantly.
    “You ordered from The Gluten-Free-a Pizzeria, right?” Asked Brenda.
    “No, Domino’s is faster. Sorry, Hannah.”
    “Could you cancel the order or something?” Hannah requested, but she was too late. The super-fast Domino’s delivery guy was already at the door. As he rung the doorbell, Hannah’s eyebrow twisted. Jamie retrieved the pizza, and the room was silent. She awkwardly set the pizza box down on the table and opened it up, and the scent of delicious pizza wafted throughout the room. Hannah’s face twisted into an expression of unbridled rage.
    “Gluten!” she roared, her skin rippling and stretching over her true form. Scaled claws erupted from her chest and tore away the rest of her human suit.
    “Oh my god! What is that thing?” Brenda screamed.
    “Hannah’s the Gluten Monster?” Julie yelled in surprise as she ran towards the door. The Gluten Monster’s lizard-like tail whipped out and pulled Julie’s legs out from under her like a roped calf. She hit the hardwood floor with a painful smack.
“Ow!” She gasped, her hands cupping a bleeding head wound as The Gluten Monster lifted her up into the air by her feet. “Please don’t hurt me!” She pleaded. “My mother’s one fourth reptilian!” The Gluten Monster responded with another roar, its kale breath aimed straight at Julie’s face. It swung her around the room and threw her against the opposite wall. She crashed through the screen door onto the balcony. The green-scaled creature then focused its amber eyes onto the two remaining girls.
“Brenda,” Jamie whispered with urgency, keeping her eyes on the Gluten Monster. “Get out your phone.”
“What? Why?” Brenda questioned hysterically, her tears ruining her mascara and streaking through her foundation. “It’s a little too late to call 911! We’re about to die and you want to take a selfie with that thing?”
“What? No! Haven’t you updated the Domino’s app recently?”
“I don’t have the Domino’s app! You know I’m on a diet!”
“Download it! Now!” She commanded as she wielded her iPhone, the screen opened to the Domino’s app. “I really, really hope this works.”
Just as the Gluten Monster began to roar, “I love Ryan Gossling!” A bright red laser burst forth from her phone’s camera and pierced through the creature’s horned head. It’s forked tongue fell to the floor, closely followed by its scaled body. With a quick tap of her phone screen, Jamie shut off the pizza later. She slumped down against the wall and shared an exasperated glance with Brenda.
    “I’m so glad I updated the app.” She sat up with a start. “Oh! Julie!”
    “Screw Julie. I’m calling an Uber,” Brenda stated, slamming the door behind her on the trashed apartment. The Gluten Monster crumbled into beige colored dust, leaving nothing but its scaly hide and a pile of gluten-free flour behind.