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Do you feel fear?
They said that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. But that didn’t happen to me. I didn’t see my brother or my mother, I didn’t see what made my life mine and unique. All I saw was darkness. The Void, I called it. In the void there was nothing. Everything was nothing, nothing was everything. I walked around on it’s invisible solid floor, my eyes adjusting the darkness. I looked down at the only thing I could see that was dark. My body. I didn’t hurt anywhere, my wounds from the accident had vanished. When I met my end, i didn’t feel anything. Well, anything other than a short burst of pain, then I felt like I was on air. I raked my fingers through my hair, looking around shouting for anyone to hear me until my voice went hoarse. It never did. That’s when I finally came to terms that I wasn’t alive anymore. Just the newest resident to the black Void of the thing called death.
I continued walking, shouting louder and louder. My walk turned into a jog. My jog turned into a run. It felt as though I couldn't run fast enough. It didn’t help that I couldn’t see anything. That I couldn’t see ghosts that followed me to nowhere. I was calm for some bizarre reason. You just get killed and you’re calm? It was a weird feeling, like nothing mattered in the world anymore.
I wasn’t stressed, I wasn’t worried. I was just me. A version of me where no troubles weighed on my shoulders. Where things were calm and pleasant. A version of me where I wasn't too sure if I existed or not. As I continued to walk in no direction, I was sure I heard a soft sound of patter. Footsteps. Someone was following me in the Void. I jerked my head around, panicking for my dead life. I felt a numbness where my heart use to lay. I know it would've been beating out of my chest if I was alive. I broke into a faster sprint than before, "adrenaline" fueling my system. I stopped once to footsteps had faded away. It was all in my head. I was imagining of scenarios worse than what was actually happening. I put my hand on my chest, expecting my heart beating fast, but what I found confirmed my expectations. There was nothing beating below the skin, no blood running through my veins. I bet if there was light, I would be ghastly like a ghost. I am a ghost. I was alive. I was something more than a label on a tombstone. I fell to the empty floor as fear overcame my senses, curling my legs against my chest. I breathed my airless oxygen, waiting for something to happen but nothing did.
Nothing did. Nothing did for ages. Nothing did for eternity. I was living in a world of emptiness for the rest of my existence. If you could call this prison of darkness my existence. It was only a way to fuel the fear in my mind.
I was just a dead girl who feared the dark.
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This is a more edited version of an old piece I wrote.