May 17, 1863

    Today I am getting prepared for a wedding. Lucille will be there, she is like a princess. We have been best friends forever it seems. Tonight Pa and Catherine are getting married. With the Civil War going on, people are rationing their food and supplies. This will be the first big dinner I’ve had since Christmas. It's hard being between adolescence and adulthood. I feel things I’ve never felt, especially when it comes to Lucille.  I think Ma would like her.

May 21, 1863

    I woke up to cannons going off. I am truly scared. I ran to Pa and Catherine. They were still in their nightgowns like I was. We gathered the remaining of our food, lanterns, and a small load of clothing. “We are going to the caves at the edge of the city. Hurry up Jace!” Catherine said. Pa told me that he is going to fight with the others and push the union back out. It's just hitting dawn, how can the Yankees see anything? I really do not care to know, I’m worried about getting Catherine to safe territory. Our home was hit by cannon balls just as soon as Catherine and I got on our horses. I jumped off of my horse and ran in the house. The walls caved in. I scream for Pa and can’t find him anywhere. I grab a picture of Ma. I put it in my right pocket and search for Pa. I feel a hand on my left shoulder, It’s Lucille. “Jace, were out here!” I hear Pa calling. We run out to find Pa and Catherine hugging. The ladies get into the carriage while Pa and I are steering. I hear random screams to the right of us, maybe 5 yards away.

May 22, 1863

    I have been sneaking out to look at all the damage in the city. Pa left at dawn to fight against the Yankees. Abraham Lincoln restricted slavery with the Emancipation Proclamation on the first of January this year.[1] I just simply do not understand. Pa told me that Lincoln was afraid of losing, so he is using the slaves as soldiers now. We owned about a dozen. We were very civilized compared to others. Ma taught Addy, our house slave, how to read and write. The thing about Ma was she cared about everyone. At childbirth, Ma and little brother didn’t make it. “What are you doing out here?” Lucille said with a yawn “It’s cold.” I give her my blanket and we walk back into the cave. “You never answered me,”she exclaimed a moment later. I swallow down all the thoughts and reply with a very cliche response “I needed the fresh air.”

June 1, 1863

    “When is your Pa going to return?” Catherine asks me. I don’t respond, I don’t know how to. They have been wedded for only two weeks and we haven’t seen him since we left for the caves. “I do not know ma’am,” I sigh “We mustn’tー” cannons getting closer than the last. “We mustn’t,” I continue “worry about him. I know that seems harsh Catherine but he will be ok.” She mumbled underneath her breath so I wouldn’t hear her. I’ve been thinking a lot about joining the war, I turn 17 in two weeks. I want to tell Lucille but she has been either gardening or crying. If I leave it’ll break her heart. Catherine and Lucille don’t get along. They have had their share of fits. Catherine believes we should try to escape and go south. Meanwhile, Lucille and I both agree that we must stay and wait for Pa. He’s still alive. I just know it.

June 7, 1863

    Lucille shook me awake whispering in my ear “I see a Yankee Jace! Jace! Wake up, please!”  I jolt up and in shock. Did I hear her right or was I dreaming? It's all of the sudden. I hear gunshots, yells, screams. I don’t know what to think. I stand up and walk quietly to the entrance. I see two maybe three Yankees. I start exiting then Lucille grabs me. “ Jace, I beg of you, don’t go.” she cries out a whisper. Tears rolling down her face I Whisper back with anger “ I’m not going to let them wander in here and just shoot us!”  I gently grab the sides of her face and I put my lips to hers. She kissed back, which is a surprise. It's a sweet feeling. “ Be careful!” she says as I slowly walk out. There's only one with a gun. He’s five feet closer to me than the other soldier. I make a run for him. Grabbing his gun out of his hands, I twist it around and point it at them. I back them up until they have no other choice than to fall off of the twenty to thirty feet drop. The one that had the gun, which is now being held by me, caught the edge and is holding on. I spit in his face and stomped on his hand. He yelps in pain and swears at me. Lucille quietly yells for me to come in.

June 16, 1863

    Today is my birthday. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I did just last week to the Yankees. I feel guilty, but at the same time I saved our lives. I am very torn by the good and the bad now. Maybe war isn’t for me. Maybe it’s better if I stay and watch for any more close encounters. It’s funny how danger will bring you closer and closer. We’ve seemed to tune out the traumatic cannon thuds now. I cannot believe it’s been almost a whole month. It’s hot as the devil when were out attending to the garden or fishing. I keep wondering what Ma might do.

June 29, 1863

    I wake up to screams. It’s Catherine and Lucille. I jolt up to see the Yankees grabbing them. “Get your nasty hands off of them you creeps.”  I yell. Suddenly I am in incredible pain and drop to the floor. The world is fading in and out. What’s happening? The world goes black. I slowly awoke with a pain in my neck. Thump a thump goes the carriage. My mouth is covered with cloth. It has a bitter iron tase, like blood. Is it my own? I look to find Lucille, then Catherine, both to my right. My hands are tied behind my back but I shake Lucille awake. I hold onto her hand for the remainder of the ride. An hour later we come to a stop. Lucille and I agreed to act like were still asleep. The Yankees grab me by the arm and drag me about 30 yards west. The sun shining in my eyes. I am thrown into a small room with other boys. My hands are untied and I yank the blood filled cloth out of my mouth. “Hi, I’m William.” a kid says. He looks like he is fourteen or fifthteen years old.

July 1, 1863

    William and the other kids are talking about a escape plan and overthrowing these Yankees. I just want to get out of here. I don’t care how. “Hey Jace, wanna help?” Joshua says. “We could use you.” I agree to it but only for the sake of getting the heck out of there. “Yeah, I’m in.” I reply. We huddle together and whisper in order to be secretive. We plan to take the guards gun and shoot him. Then we would run out and free the girls. “We have to get my sisters.” said one boy. “Mine too!” another says. I think about Lucille and Catherine. “We’ll get them guys, trust me!” William says.

July 2,1863

    I was on the left as the guard brings us our food, which is not going to be missed. William was positioned on the right of the door. William grabs the guard and I hit him across the back of the head, with a piece of wood that was pried from the wall, like what was done to me the day we were captured. I tear a piece of his uniform and shove it in his mouth then tie his hands. We grab for his gun, but nothing was there. We’ll have to do without it. We leave him in the corner of the room and run out. We start searching for the girls. I hear cries and follow it. It leads down a hall to the right. I open the second door from the exit and look for Lucille. I find her hugging Catherine. They see me and cry with relief. I motion for all the women to follow me. We come across another guard. I charge at him and he falls to the ground. The others run while I strangle the guard.

July 4, 1863

    We are staying at an abandoned house and waited until dark. William and I are going to see if we can find any confederate soldiers. We start in the woods, then later find Pa. I run to him, but with anger in my eyes. “How could you? You had to leave us and fight for stupid rights when I had to fight for our lives?” I yell. He grabs me and hugs me, not letting go. “We lost, we surrendered.” he explains the events and I just cry. Still angry with him I tell him about the capturing and how we escaped just days before from now. He doesn’t say a word, nor I. About five minutes later I take him to our camp. Catherine stumbles to her feet with excitement. She walks to him and he picks her up with a hug. “Oh darling, I knew you’d return!” Catherine says, which is a lie. She kept asking me what if he died? What would we do?  He explains to everyone that we have surrendered in the battle. “The Yankees know control the Mississippi River,” he continues “We need to go to Texas and get away from here. There’s a safe spot where Grandma lives. Were leaving tonight.” He says. I tell him that we were planning to go south tonight, and that everyone is prepared. At dawn we started west for Grandma’s home.