Some say I am one of the cruelest person ever known in history, killing all those Jews. Others say I am a hero who wanted to help my country. But let me ask you one question: who do you think I am? Am I actually that horrible of a person?

To the public, I am known for many things, growing up. As a child? To the teachers, I was known as the disobedient and horrible student, but also the one who loves art. To the students, I was the country boy, the one who was so lonely and isolated from the world. As a politician? I was known as the Fuehrer. Though who truly am I? That only leads to one answer: I am Adolf Hitler. The one and only Adolf Hitler.

Why does the world view me in such a negative way? Who do they know me as? A killer? A monster? A racist? But am I seriously those things? No! People interpret me in such a stiff-headed mindset that I am speechless. You all have no right to call me that. None of you truly know me. None of you know my story. How can you judge my actions without knowing me? What is my story, you might then ask? Let me tell you. Let me tell you how my life was such a tragedy.

***

My childhood mostly consisted of living and playing in countryside. And indeed, it was a very lovely place. I was happy, and my family was happy, without my dad since he was in the Austrian Civil Service. However, my life began to fall apart once my dad had retired when he was 50. And even till this day, I still blame him for it. When I started school, I guess it was fine. I tried my very best to avoid my father, though it was hard. Every day when I came back home, I would always hear my older brother and my father screaming at each other. That wasn’t the worst part. Sometimes if the fights got worse, my father would beat my brother up. There was a point in time where my brother really couldn’t stand our father anymore. That was when he ran away from home. I never really remember seeing him ever again, and I wouldn’t want to, either. Ever since he left, I was the next victim of abuse.

Things weren’t far too terrible after my older brother left, surprisingly. I fought verbally with father a few times here and there, but nothing far too serious. A few years later, we moved to another place, where it was also at the countryside. School there was pretty easy. I got good marks on every assignment my teacher gave me. My mother, whom I dearly love, sent me to go to the Catholic Church during my time there, too. Church actually wasn’t bad. I enjoyed singing in the church choir and listening to the priest preach the word of God. I even admired the priests so much to the point that I wanted to become a priest when I grew up! That idea stayed in my brain until my life started to go spiral down into darkness.

If you didn’t know, I had a younger brother. I remember the old days where we played together. It was great. Though at the age of 6, he died of measles. He was buried right outside our house, near my window. I was heartbroken. I had no playmate. Every night, I would go and look out the window and remember my very dear brother. My mother was the only person left that I loved a lot. That wasn't even the worst part. A few months later, I was forced, by my father, to go into the city for school. I hated the city. I just wanted to have fun in the countryside. I just wanted to be an artist when I grew up. My father and I argued for hours, but in the end, I was forced to go since my father wanted me to become a civil servant just like him. I didn’t want to, but he threatened me. I had no choice. And so I did what he told me.

Ever since then, it was the worst thing in my life. The city boys called me names and didn’t want to hang out with me. I did poorly in school, and behavior wise I was really bad, too. It amused me when I played pranks on my fellow teachers. That was the only fun part of the school. The rest of the time, I’m just isolated into this bubble. I stayed in my lonely island for years I was in school; no one accepted me, and I won’t accept them either.

That was when I started reflecting. Reflecting on my life. Reflecting on who people truly are. Reflecting on all the things that were ever taught to me, especially Christian teachings. They taught me to love your neighbor as yourself. To love everyone, even your enemies. This is the most ridiculous thing ever. Those people hate me. The teachers hate me, the students hate me, and the world hates me. If everything and everyone hates me, why can’t I hate them, too? They don’t accept me for who I am. The Bible teaches us to forgive and help everyone. Nonsense! Am I supposed to forgive them for what they have done to me during my childhood? No! They do not deserve it. They looked down on me. They looked down on me only because I was from the countryside. I was different from them. That was why I started to isolate myself from people.

Years passed after the constant isolation of myself from people. My father passed away during the year 1903. But did I care? No. It had no effect on me at all. I was indeed very happy now that he was gone. I had freedom; freedom that I never had before. I was able to go and pursue art, which I loved. My mother supported me in my choices and allowed me to drop out of school. I tried to go into an art academy, but both times I went I failed the test. It was during the second test when another burden was put upon me, pulling me down. My mother grew very sick. I was pained, deep into my heart. I loved my mother, so much. I tried all my might to save her. I invited a Jewish doctor to take care of my mother. He did well, and I am still very grateful for him even though he couldn’t save her. The doctor worked diligently; every day he would come and visit her. Even after my mother passed away, I was still grateful for him and I admired his hard work.

It has been several months since my mother’s death. I was in the most isolated state I had ever been in my whole entire life. I cursed the name of God, and I wished that He wasn’t there. Yes, I believed that there is a God. There’s a God that created everything with just words. Ain’t he powerful? Though at the same time, isn’t it funny how cruel he is, too? He took away everything in my life. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. What was first? The returning of my father. Second? My older brother ran away and left me to die. Third? My younger brother passed away. Fourth? My pathetic father who sent me to the city school. Fifth? Being isolated and hated by everyone. EVERYONE! And the last thing? My mother’s death. What right do I not have to curse God? He was the one who took away everything from me. Did I not go to church and worship Him? Did I not go and read the Bible every day? I had the same amount of knowledge as the priests! I know what all Christians should act. To help the poor. To help the weak. To help forgive. To love. This, I know. But not everyone deserves this. My schoolmates don’t deserve my love or forgiveness. My father doesn’t deserve it. They all don’t deserve to be treated equally. They don’t deserve to be treated like my mother, my younger brother, or that Jewish doctor.

My bitterness grew more and more as I started to become a young adult. By then, I was into German Nationalism. I knew that putting Germany first at all cost was the most crucial thing that we all should do; nothing else. When World War 1 started, I knew that I had to join the army. Germany and its glory in the world were the most important. Even though there was a period of time where I was injured and I couldn’t take part in the war. By the time I was up and going, the war had ended, and we had lost. I was furious. I was furious on the idea that Germany lost, and that we also had to pay the other Allies money. It wasn’t fair. And it only sparked a small flame in my heart—the flame of revenge.

Who could I put the blame on for our loss? All of Germany put so much effort into the war, yet we lost. We were doing so great, but we lost in the end. There is no possible reason for this. People say that we had too many flaws in our army, which was why we lost. But I won’t believe this. I firmly believe that there must have been a traitor in Germany that caused us to fail so terribly. And who are these group of traitors? The Jews. Yes, there might be some other factors that lead to Germany’s failure in the war, but it was because of those Jews we lost.

Now, I am not discriminating them, nor do I hate every single Jew. There are some Jews that I believe are amazing, such as the Jewish doctor that was with my mom. However, a large group of them don’t even try to put their own country first. What do they only want? All they wanted was to benefit themselves for the best cause, and not the country. At any cost, as humans, we all should put our country first. That’s why I dislike the large population of Jews.

This, was also when I disliked more and more of the characteristics of Christianity. Help the weak? Help the poor? Why should we do that? Why learn how to forgive others when all they are doing is trying to pull us down? Forgiveness and salvation of God were all ridiculous thoughts. The Bible was merely written by weak men who wanted other people to become weak like them. And the Old Testament of the Bible? All of those were just random stories or useless laws that we should follow. And besides, the Old Testament was from the Jews. And because I was in the state of disliking the Jews for not putting their nation first, it made me despise a lot of the teachings from Christianity.

I don’t wanna just put it in and state that I entirely reject the teaching of Christianity. I believe that some parts of their teaching are true and right. However, I believe that a lot of what they believe is false and weak. That’s why, when I came into power, I was determined to change some parts of Christianity. The Nazi party and I decided to create this new thing called Positive Christianity by taking out the parts of Christianity I don’t like and replace what I thought was right.

As time grew on, I took part in leading the Nazi party, and later on, as many people know, the ruler of Germany. To think about this, it was amazing. From a country boy all the way to being the dictator of Germany. When I was in power, I felt so accomplished. No one could bring me down, just yet, and I could do what I wanted to do for a while now. It was then that the thought of taking over the world started to enter my mind. Other countries deserved it. After they oppressed Germany for so long, I was finally able to have the military power to go and take over different nations and claim it as mines, as part of Germany’s. I was also able to give what the Jews deserved. They deserved the punishment after betraying us during World War 1.

I started World War 2. And I will never regret any part of it. The beginning of the war was the best part of ever. We were doing pretty well, being allies with Japan. They were a strong ally to be with. However, as years passed, realization soon came upon me that we were gonna lose. I knew that in the end, my enemies will come and catch me. That was never going to happen. I will never allow it to happen. I won’t ever die in the hands of my enemy. And that was when I planned a suicide.

This was probably the last, and worst day of my life. All I wanted was to bring Germany to glory, yet failed. I wanted to change the world, yet failed, too. Who was I to blame for that? I couldn't blame anyone but God. He was the only who could change my fate. Was he punishing me for what I did? What I had done to the Jews? What I did change in the Bible? Maybe. Maybe God is cursing me for what I have done.

But I had done nothing wrong. I was doing what was right. I was just changing some of my ideas on the Bible into my own. Humans wrote them anyway, and I believe what they wrote was wrong. We don’t deserve to forgive or love certain people. Some people don’t deserve it. We shouldn’t protect the poor or the weak. Let them live on their own; we shouldn’t be helping. They deserve what they deserve, after all, their actions were what caused them to be like that.

Though what difference does it make now? God hates me despite all the good I have done. Well, I could do nothing about it now. The war has turned tides now, and everyone in the universe is against me. What’s a better choice than to die?

***

Now you see, ladies and gentlemen. I’m not entirely a bad person. It’s just God and the large population of humans that hate me, especially the Christian and Jews. Why? Since I killed a large population of the Jews, they consider me as racist and a savage. Though am I? I’m not. I’m just doing what I believe is right. Christians all believe that we shouldn’t be racist and take care of each other, treating everyone equally. But is that really the case? We shouldn’t be doing that. We should be taking care of people who deserve it, not just because they are ill or poor. Their logic is flawed.

I have finished all I have to say. Believe me, all that you will. I cannot change your ways of thinking of who you think I truly am. I can only state the events of my life in my point of view.