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Alone
Walking down the streets alone - I have no home anymore. My husband and I were having troubles in our marriage. It started with yelling that he wanted to buy fire wood but I really needed new stockings, mine are ripped and are covered in mending marks! It ended when I spit my cigarette at him. I watched as my home and husband turned to ash. I want to get a new house of my very own, just like my father did when mom died. He sold the house and moved into a new one even though he had not burned it down - his old house - like I did with mine. To be honest it was not only the cigarette - after I threw it I lit a match, then lit him on fire, and ran. I hope I can find a place to call home soon so I can forget all about this. I fear that I will go mad being alone and knowing it was all my fault.
My stockings are covered with dirt and are sewn. I have used these for three years. I got them for my wedding which means nothing to me now. That day is my biggest regret - the wedding of course. I have been picking up coins off the street, but I need a job which is hard to find in this economy. Everyone is walking around looking for a job. Lots of the other women have ripped up stockings like me that have been mended. I guess they don’t have the money to buy more either. We must use our money for food and water but I don’t even have that stuff. I wont buy anything until I get my house back. I’m not like them - I am not homeless and dirty - I come from a family of great wealth and will be off the streets soon because I always get what I want! If I must I will call my daddy and he will take me home with him until I can get my own house. I have only been on the streets for three days; other people have been here for a year or two, but not me because I am not homeless. I suppose I could head west for a job but I can’t jump a train or work in a camp. I have heard stories of the bulls and cops who catch the young train jumpers. I have nice clothes and heels on and that would make train jumping hard.
I suppose they will find out about my husband at some point but they cant prove I did it since everything is ash and everything is gone. All I need now is a phone so I can call my dad to pick me up and take me to his house where he will take care of me. Although his life has not been the same since this all started. He had to sell the barn and some of moms jewels to pay for the heat in the house. He is loosing his job now - but my brother is doing well he has a job on a farm not to far from town! He likes the people he works for and seems happy. The pay is good and I envy him. When he found out what happened he sent me fresh picked flowers from the farm and a card saying how bad he felt for me - but even with the people I love helping me I still feel alone some how.
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