Only a Woman | Teen Ink

Only a Woman MAG

August 12, 2011
By CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius


“My Lady, Octavian is here.” Neferura, my only loyal servant, was in a panic. “It will only be a matter of time before he finds you here.”

“I won’t hide any longer. Bring my paints, my best red sheath, and my most expensive jewelry. I’ve charmed two Roman men; there’s no reason I can’t charm this one too.”

Neferura bowed, then ran out of the mausoleum I had been hiding in for the past few months. Had it really only been a couple of months since everything had gone wrong? Our fleet was destroyed at Actium, Mark Antony took his own life, and now the Emperor had arrived in Egypt. If I couldn’t charm Octavian like I charmed Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, then I would soon be returning to my mausoleum as a corpse.

Neferura returned with all of the things I had requested. She helped me wriggle out of my plain white sheath and into my sumptuous red one that left little to the imagination. Then she brushed my tangled black hair, pinned it up, and slipped my wig of a hundred ringlets into place. I sat very still as she outlined my eyes in kohl, used henna to redden my lips, and covered the dark circles under my eyes with powder. From the small selection of jewelry she brought, I chose a silver circlet with a huge red jasper stone that hung on my forehead, bracelets of electrum, a belt of moonstones, and rings of lapis lazuli. I looked at myself in the small bronze mirror Neferura brought and smiled. I looked perfect, as usual. Now all I had to do was make Octavian agree.

“You manipulated a good Roman man into turning against his own country,” Octavian said to me warily.

“Me? I am just a woman. What influence could a woman have over a strong Roman man?”

Octavian spluttered at my words; he was not buying into my story. And he definitely wasn’t falling for my body like Julius and Mark had. My intelligence only threatened him, so that definitely wasn’t helping my case. Time for Plan B.

“You need a powerful ally in Egypt; I can maintain control over my people. Let me remain Pharaoh, and Rome will reap the rewards.”

For the first time in our meeting, Octavian smiled. “Cleopatra, you are an intelligent woman. Tell me, why would I need a powerful ally in the newest Roman province?”

“You’re annexing Egypt?” I gasped.

“Of course. I have no wish to quell the rebellion of yet another tempestuous Eastern Queen.” He snapped his fingers. “Take her away, but do not harm her. I wish to display her at my triumph when I return.”

The Roman guards marched me at swordpoint to a tiny room in the palace that had been a guest room. Before they locked me away for good, I turned to face them and suggestively lifted my sheath to reveal my right calf. One of the soldiers hesitated, but the other pushed me into my prison and slammed the door behind me. To my surprise, Neferura was there, setting up a simple cot by the door. Seeing me, she bowed before speaking.

“I convinced the guards to let me tend to you. My Queen, what will you do now?”

“I am going to deny Emperor Octavian his greatest prize.” I smiled reassuringly to hide the fact I was ready to break down and cry. “I don’t care how you do it, but bring me an asp. I’m going to die with the honour that befits the last Pharaoh of Egypt.”

Neferura nodded and I could see the tears in her deep brown eyes. I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug – a breech of station on my part. But I didn’t care; I was about to die and I needed to thank her for her complete loyalty to me. I felt the tears running down my face, but I let them flow. After all, if I had my way, I wouldn't be here much longer.

After Neferura retouched my makeup, I was ready. She had smuggled the asp past the guards by hiding it in a basket of figs. I reached in the figs and nearly smiled in triumph when my fingers closed around the asp’s cool, smooth body. It hissed as I pulled it out of the basket. Good, it was already annoyed at being kept under the heavy figs.

Its eyes stared coldly at me as I stroked its head, enticing it to bite me. Finally, it struck my wrist with lightning speed. I bit my tongue to keep from crying out in pain. When the snake let go, I quickly dumped it in the fig basket and put on the lid.

Within minutes, my breathing became laboured. I lay down on the bed and carefully composed myself. I was going to die with dignity, the way a Pharaoh should. My last breaths were steeped in agony, yet I was strangely happy. I had thwarted Octavian, denying him his greatest prize.

But my happiness didn’t last long. The gods in Judgment Hall were calling for me, Queen Cleopatra, the last and greatest Pharaoh.


The author's comments:

Historical Note: Although we know him today as Octavian (or Caesar Augustus), in his time, he was known as 'Gaius.' I didn't want to fight convention by using his Latin name because that would just confuse everyone. I hope you like my story! Tell me what you think of my portrayal of Cleopatra in the comments.


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This article has 258 comments.


on Nov. 29 2011 at 7:37 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for commenting! :)

AvaJay GOLD said...
on Nov. 29 2011 at 7:10 pm
AvaJay GOLD, Spokane, Washington
13 articles 4 photos 184 comments

Favorite Quote:
Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not pray for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it.<br /> ~ Tagore

Wow! Great job!

on Nov. 29 2011 at 6:40 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for commenting! :)

on Nov. 29 2011 at 6:39 pm
KarinaDavidyuk GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
15 articles 1 photo 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a game of chess.. Every move makes a change.

This is really great! I love it <3

T_M_66 SILVER said...
on Nov. 27 2011 at 7:05 pm
T_M_66 SILVER, Anderson, California
8 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am not pretty. I am not beautiful. I am as radiant as the sun.

Even though I can't spell.

on Nov. 27 2011 at 5:27 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for commenting! :)

T_M_66 SILVER said...
on Nov. 27 2011 at 5:27 pm
T_M_66 SILVER, Anderson, California
8 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am not pretty. I am not beautiful. I am as radiant as the sun.

I am not a big fan of historical fiction but I do love this piece.  I love how it's so historically accurate when it needs to be wit hthe perfect slpash of fiction to tie it all together.

on Nov. 27 2011 at 3:25 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

Thank you! :)

on Nov. 27 2011 at 3:24 pm
GzusFreak10 GOLD, Staten Island, New York
17 articles 0 photos 102 comments
Very good! Quite compelling, good amount of dialouge, and the characters were believable. Cleopatra seems to be exactly like I picture her: a cold and calculating ruler, but still a woman with needs and feelings.

on Nov. 27 2011 at 3:07 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

Well, thank you very much!  I love it when people comment simply because they like an article.  If you want to read more about Cleopatra, then I have an article called 'Desertion', which takes place before this one.

on Nov. 27 2011 at 3:01 pm
Writer_Jordan GOLD, Ellicott City, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 182 comments

Favorite Quote:
All that is gold does not glitter,<br /> Not all those who wander are lost;<br /> The old that is strong does not wither,<br /> Deep roots are not reached by the frost.<br /> From the ashes a fire shall be woken,<br /> A light from the shadows shall spring;<br /> Renewed shall be blade that was broken,<br /> The crownless again shall be king.

Not at the moment, thanks. My current piece is being approved. I just love reading your work!

on Nov. 27 2011 at 3:00 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for your comment! :)  I really appreciate it.  Is there anything of yours you'd like me to comment on?

on Nov. 27 2011 at 2:59 pm
Writer_Jordan GOLD, Ellicott City, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 182 comments

Favorite Quote:
All that is gold does not glitter,<br /> Not all those who wander are lost;<br /> The old that is strong does not wither,<br /> Deep roots are not reached by the frost.<br /> From the ashes a fire shall be woken,<br /> A light from the shadows shall spring;<br /> Renewed shall be blade that was broken,<br /> The crownless again shall be king.

I love the story. You certainly did your research. A flawless tale...

on Nov. 27 2011 at 2:58 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks! :)  I'm glad you liked it.

on Nov. 27 2011 at 2:57 pm
GretaGibson PLATINUM, Vancouver, Other
23 articles 4 photos 23 comments
this was a truly wonderful peice and i simply adore it. I had to read some parts more slowly just so it could sink in a little better. This is absolutly fantastic

on Nov. 27 2011 at 12:43 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks!  And yeah, in the second draft I described Octavian.  I just don't want to restart because I have so many comments.

Lovejuice GOLD said...
on Nov. 27 2011 at 12:42 am
Lovejuice GOLD,
19 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Yet another masterpiece.

No spelling mistakes, excellent dialogue, great visualization, except one thing is nigling at me...

Octavian didn't have much of a description.

 

Otherwise, I really like your story here, and I hope you write more historical fiction. You do a great job of it!


on Nov. 26 2011 at 5:02 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

Thanks for commenting!

on Nov. 26 2011 at 4:27 pm
Loserrr122 GOLD, Belgrade, Montana
10 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome. Very nicely done.

on Nov. 20 2011 at 5:11 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

Thank you for commenting! :)