September 17-18, 1862: Journal of Anne Clarke age 20
The american flag lay furled on the ground, covered in deep crimson stains from newly dried blood on this day in Antietam Maryland. The sound of gunshots, canons and screams of agony still rang in my ears. I looked out into the vast field. Bile rose up within my stomach at the sight of the many bodies that littered the once empty field.
I turned back around and entered into the tent. Rows upon rows of cots lined the edges of the tent, each one of them filled with a body dressed in the colors of the Union. I rushed back over to my sector and started to check on each of the many men. Many were too ill to speak and some were just passed out or dead. I wet a rag with some water and started to dab the forehead of one of the men. His hair was sticky with blood, He was doused in sweat, sharp quick breaths escaping his lungs. The soldier had been shot just above his elbow on the left arm. His arm was gone now for it had been amputated at once. What was left was wrapped in a white cloth and was already soiled with blood. I prepared another cloth to wrap the arm in, carefully I peeled back the used one and placed it to the side. Next I cleaned the wound and wrapped it back up again. I wiped my bloody hands on my dress and continued on to the next patient. Many more soldiers had amputations like the first. So I did what could be done unwrap, wash, rewrap, next.
After awhile the mangled arms and legs didn't bother me because I had seen the worst that could be seen already. I had heard the shocking news that sent a shiver down my spine, there were about 12,000 Union casualties. I couldn’t believe it. I prayed that my two brothers were okay. We had left New York together, they had enlisted in the Union Army. I had decided to volunteer as a nurse. I don't know where either of them are though I like to pretend they are safe at home with their families.
  Dusk had began to settle in, and myself and the other nurses worked late into the night and early morning. Exhaustion began to creep in, my eyelids seeming to be getting heavier and heavier each second. Finally Marie the head nurse came and told me to take a rest and she would continue my work. I exited the tent the early morning air filling my lungs. I slouched down and sat in a patch of grass. Many thoughts flooded my mind, how many were dead? Once the South retread where had they gone? Had we won? It seemed to me we are in the same place we were yesterday or the day before just with much more causalities. I didn't know what General McClellan’s next move was. No one did, especially not the nurses. I stood up brushed my dress off, collected my thoughts and set off in the direction of the tent.There was no time to rest when there is work to be done.