Dear Mr. Capote,

Inasmuch as I find great stores of talent in your writing, I must inform you that your novel Other Voices, Other Rooms has been rejected. There are various reasons for our decision.

Your character creation is pointless. It appears that you have no way of proving Randolph’s weakness in character, other than creating otherwise useless characters in contrast with him. The same for Joel’s character change, you use Zoo Fever (Have you visited contagious animals lately?) and her absence in order to portray his different ways of interaction with her before and after her absence. No author should waste characters in such a manner.
While your main theme does address a current issue in the world and self-acceptance, your idea is not stated clearly. In this novel, Joel’s thoughts regarding his change are not truly mentioned, merely his observations. Do you not realize that the only changes in Joel occurred in his mind? Also, though the reader can assume that, in the end, it was Randolph who beckoned to Joel in a costume, this is not clarified. This is a risky move, and you may very well lose the entire point of your novel by not making this fact clear.

Lastly, you have portrayed your childhood friend, Harper Lee, as Idabel, yet you have failed to acknowledge her in the dedication or acknowledgements sections, simply because you are jealous of her. This is rather a despicable gesture, and it turns many admirers of Harper Lee’s writing against you.

Thus, bluntly stating, this publishing house has not accepted your novel, though we wish you luck in the future. Should you wish to discuss your rejection further, I will be glad to discuss this over breakfast on Saturday.

With all due respect,
Tiffany De Travail,
Feverish Skull’s Publishing