Life is tough. I often think so. But as I think of the people working so hard under the sun just to earn a living, sitting under the aircon complaining about life just seems so ignominious.

Yes, I am a 19-year-old student who is studying at a University. I spent countless nights staying up late to play computer games and ended up daydreaming in the class for the next day. I have not concentrated during my classes and ended up with bad grades in the examination. I did my assignments at the last minute to test my ability to work under pressure, OK I am just trying to hide the fact that I am an extreme procrastinator. The conclusion is, my life is an utter mess.

One night I was scrolling through my phone and something had triggered my mind. I looked at the hour hand on the clock that was pointed to 4 and started thinking about life.

What am I doing? Why am I still awake in the middle of the night, not studying, but wondering through my phone aimlessly? Did my parents send me to University to waste my life? No, they sent me here to gain knowledge, to acquire skills so that I can find a job and live a life in the future.

I recalled their phone calls, their concerns about my health, asking if I had taken good food. All I did was brushing them off impatiently so that I could continue to play my computer games. I was so ignorant.

That night I couldn't fall asleep. My mind was full of moments when I was in secondary school. The days when my grandfather was fetching me to tuition classes so that I could catch up with my studies. I remembered my mother teaching me patiently the things I couldn't understand. My grandmother bought supplements for me but she refused to take them herself saying that they were too expensive.

They tried to express their concerns to me through phone calls, which were denied by me ruthlessly. They were hoping to hear my voice and wanted to know what was I doing. My family was so worried about me, without the custody of them, was their little girl being well?

Yes, I am still a little girl who hasn't grown up yet. Even though I am the only child of my parents, I am not independent. I was like the flower incubated in the greenhouse, so vulnerable in the long period of protection under my family. I relied on my parents completely and when they were not beside me, I felt scared and hopeless in dealing with difficult situations.

I was feverishly playing computer games as an escapism from reality. I was addicted to the feeling of satisfaction that I ignored the important things in my life. I have forgotten the purpose of going to the University, which shouldn't be doing things that deteriorate my future. I regretted treating my family in a mean way and not appreciating their love for me. They have high hopes for me but I have disappointed them.

Life in University is blissful because we are free from stresses and worries. We should spend our time wisely to improve ourselves and get ready to confront the problems in society. We should appreciate every moment in our lives and become better versions of ourselves.

Just then, I saw shimmers of light coming through the blinds of my window. I think they were symbols of hope in my life. I ought to find the significance of life,to find the passion deep down in me. No matter how hard life is, I will muster all my courage to overcome it. For me, and my family. 

I was muddling along in my life until I was triggered one day. I had realized that I had neglected my love for my family and the importance of finding something worthwhile in my life.